Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML
Today, I'm staying in a hotel where the lights are automatic. They turn on when something moves and turn off when everything is still. I'm a sensitive sleeper and I move in my sleep, so the light wakes me up. It's currently 2 a.m. and all together I've gotten about 20 minutes of sleep. FML
Today, I finally managed to sleep, after two days of being kept awake by the miniature floodlights my neighbors have installed to scare off burglars. Only a couple of hours into my sleep, I woke up to the sound of their car being broken into. FML
Today, my dad reactivated a digital clock we had lying around, and accidentally set an alarm on it. For 1 a.m.. So guess who went hunting for that noise in the middle of night. And guess who banished the thing to the living room, then forgot about it, and slept on the sofa in said living room. Or tried to. FML
Today, I'm dead on my feet. My flatmate's alarm went off for 20 minutes at 5 a.m., which I heard and he didn't. A car alarm went off outside my window for half an hour at 7 a.m. My building fire alarm went off twice, at 8 and 8:10 a.m. Just let me sleep. FML
Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch while babysitting. When the kids' parents came home, they made fake crying noises to see if I would wake up. I slept like a baby, and by the time they finally roused me, I'd left a nice drool stain on the armrest. FML
Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML
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Top comments
yamazumi 8
pff, their fault, would have gotten up anyway.
Rinat_fml 26
I wouldn't hold it in if I were you, it's just a siren, not a cage of lions.
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Comments (87)
yuzuhere 21
This is the most perfect scenario for you to showcase your hidden ninja potential!
sammyjanette 17
How do you not know the code to your own burglar alarm? What if you needed to set it in an emergency?
tony1891 22
were you still on the couch when you posted this fml? if so you're pretty good.
MzZombicidal 36
Pretty good at what exactly?
tony1891 22
pretty good at not setting off the burglar alarm.
MrsPegg 45
You should get up, turn on the lights and go straight to your parents so they know nothings wrong & come running out their room potentially with a weapon looking for an intruder.
Queensland 27
Manoeuvre yourself to pee on the motion sensor. You've peed, and the sensor is probably broken now in case you sleep there again! Problem solved! ;)
stonedfly3 15
While this would be hilarious, I'm not sure it's a great solution
HairIsEverything 15
What happens when there is a real intruder? Even if you were joking, you still sound like an imbecile.
askullnamedbilly 33
Oh come on, #19, IF? There was even a winking emoticon at the end of #17's post. Do you honestly believe that there's a chance that she wasn't joking about this, or do people have to spell everything out for you so you won't take offense?
anmurphy101 14
Hope you can hold it
worldclassrager 41
It's a good start still I would try to fall back asleep...then they would have an FML to post
littlekellilee 45
I can't even doze if I need to pee.
yamazumi 8
I can't go to sleep at night if j need to pee, but if I wake up in the middle of the night or in the morning, no matter how desperate, I seem to be able to hold it for so long I no longer need to pee.
mylifebitches666 18
By all means set it off. Your parents deserve it. If you have to go then go.
LennyComa 39
If I were you I'd go and let the siren wail....They should have woken you especially if you have motion senor alarms
awesomeamandas 37
most home alarm systems that include motion sensors have two settings, one for when youre home that deactivates the motion sensors and one where you arent home that activates the sensor so you dont accidentally set the alarm off. so youre probably safe to move as you will.