Health: Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two,...

By Weak Disposition - 27/04/2012 04:29 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 311

You deserved it 29 608

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Same thing different taste

By MGDS - 14/12/2013 05:52 - United States - Pine Grove

Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 189

You deserved it 3 261

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 237

By wrestling probs - 26/05/2015 02:24 - United States

Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 761

You deserved it 1 999

By laurenmichela - 12/10/2015 21:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 630

You deserved it 2 095

By ashhatches - 27/06/2011 19:15 - United States

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 422

You deserved it 62 534

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 05/09/2023 00:02

Today, I had a stomach bug, but despite it I swallowed a mouthful of habanero sauce on a dare. I ended up projectile vomiting on a wall outside, lost my sense of balance and fell over on the sidewalk, almost blacked out from the tightness in my chest, and had to refuse an ambulance that somebody had called. All for $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 1 238

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 114

You deserved it 7 545

By TLJ321 - 18/05/2012 07:41

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 611

You deserved it 58 863

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 3 699

By Bigfoot - 02/09/2017 01:30

Today, I participated in an obstacle course. As I was going over a set of monkey bars, my balls got crushed between the bar and my gut. I barely managed to get down before blacking out in the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 978

You deserved it 388

alstbv12 13

Friday 27 April 2012 10:41

At least people now can't make the joke that you're used to a bunch of wieners in your mouth.

AugustBurnsToast 14

Friday 27 April 2012 10:43

You are the weakest link.

Comments

mgg058 4

Saturday 28 April 2012 20:11

Lmao WIMP !

pexy_fml 16

Saturday 28 April 2012 23:15

You win ?

pexy_fml 16

Saturday 28 April 2012 23:19

For those complaining about if it's 2 or 3, we are not in court it just a fun thing, don't cry and make a big deal no one is going to blame you for not saving the holy truth

hateevryone 14

Saturday 28 April 2012 23:20

Well you win then.

TheNinjaBacon 8

Sunday 29 April 2012 3:25

Only two? Man, thats wat i eat on a normal basis!!! U must be skinny or something!

trillwill19 2

Sunday 29 April 2012 16:26

This made me straight up laugh out loud for some reason....

writergirl23 19

Sunday 29 April 2012 23:14

On the bright side, they won't make you fat

belbreanna 2

Wednesday 2 May 2012 5:02

Accomplishment!

CoconutSoup 5

Monday 7 May 2012 20:55

Just shut up NoorFML

SkoomaKi 27

Friday 10 August 2012 1:44

^ You shut up, ever commented while you're sleep deprived and falling asleep? - it's not pretty. Cut her some slack you jackass.

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The Top

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 792

You deserved it 16 308

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 180

The Top

Today, I uploaded a video to YouTube. I have around 20k subscribers, so I'm not a huge deal. I used a "fail" sound effect. I just got an email from YouTube saying that I got a copyright strike. They told me that it was the 4-second sound effect. They copyrighted 4 seconds of my video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 492

You deserved it 513

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 101

You deserved it 2 434

Today, I seriously strained my back picking up my daughter. I’m only 22 and now I have a bad back a man in his 70s would be proud of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 276

Today, my friend explained to me that the toilet paper in his bathroom is "just for show." Now I know why his hamper smells like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 794

You deserved it 129

Today, I was woken at 4 a.m. by the sounds of someone crashing down the stairs. I scrambled out, still half-asleep, to find out that nobody was in an agonized heap at the bottom. The walls are so thin in my house that I could hear the neighbour falling down HIS stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 747

You deserved it 786

Today, my girlfriend wants to lick my butthole. How do I respond to that? I am genuinely confused and disgusted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 505

Same thing different taste

Wardrobe change please

Was it worth it?

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