Health: Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two,...

By Weak Disposition - 27/04/2012 04:29 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 311

You deserved it 29 608

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Same thing different taste

By MGDS - 14/12/2013 05:52 - United States - Pine Grove

Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 189

You deserved it 3 261

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 237

By wrestling probs - 26/05/2015 02:24 - United States

Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 761

You deserved it 1 999

By laurenmichela - 12/10/2015 21:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 630

You deserved it 2 095

By ashhatches - 27/06/2011 19:15 - United States

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 422

You deserved it 62 534

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 05/09/2023 00:02

Today, I had a stomach bug, but despite it I swallowed a mouthful of habanero sauce on a dare. I ended up projectile vomiting on a wall outside, lost my sense of balance and fell over on the sidewalk, almost blacked out from the tightness in my chest, and had to refuse an ambulance that somebody had called. All for $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 1 238

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 114

You deserved it 7 546

By TLJ321 - 18/05/2012 07:41

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 611

You deserved it 58 863

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 3 699

By Bigfoot - 02/09/2017 01:30

Today, I participated in an obstacle course. As I was going over a set of monkey bars, my balls got crushed between the bar and my gut. I barely managed to get down before blacking out in the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 978

You deserved it 388

alstbv12 13

Friday 27 April 2012 10:41

At least people now can't make the joke that you're used to a bunch of wieners in your mouth.

AugustBurnsToast 14

Friday 27 April 2012 10:43

You are the weakest link.

Comments

wellinever 5

Friday 27 April 2012 11:54

Sounds like your metabolism has more sense than you do. Listen to it in future.

ClosetTroll 10

Friday 27 April 2012 11:55

In this battle of Man vs. Food, food has won!

sirdanielson 5

Friday 27 April 2012 11:58

ahahaa!! im not sure whether 2 have gotten sick, laughed, or booed your pansy arse if I was watching..you suck moose nipples fasho!

jazz23 2

Friday 27 April 2012 12:06

Epic fail lmao

annagilbert 6

Friday 27 April 2012 12:09

hahaha! just imagine that

zack11289 3

Friday 27 April 2012 12:18

Gotta be the best fml so far and my favorite

DarkPit7892 0

Friday 27 April 2012 12:49

You should have practiced!

challan 19

Friday 27 April 2012 13:01

I'm assuming it was how fast you at them and not the amount. Good luck next time?

william8691 10

Friday 27 April 2012 14:01

Someone needs to lose their gag reflex lol

lfrye 6

Friday 27 April 2012 14:25

Its because you're not Asian......

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The Top

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 263

You deserved it 2 123

Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 68

The Top

Today, I realized out how sad my love life is when I got excited that the number a girl gave me turned out to really be hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 448

You deserved it 2 969

Today, I was interviewing a potential candidate for a job opportunity. He started the conversation by saying that he was having a weird day because his friend just got married. To which I responded, “Oh, fun!” He'd actually said that his friend got murdered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 198

Today, I woke up to find out that last night I got extremely drunk, dumped my boyfriend of 3 years, bought a female ostrich, named it Frederic, and confessed my undying love for it via YouTube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 241

You deserved it 6 055

Today, I went to my first ultrasound appointment. The daughter I was hoping for is actually going to be boy triplets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 215

You deserved it 1 258

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 014

You deserved it 97 549

Today, I spent a full two minutes doing nothing but sniffing my computer. Don't worry, it was in the living room and my roommate definitely saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 702

Same thing different taste

Wardrobe change please

Was it worth it?

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