Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML
Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
Today, I had a stomach bug, but despite it I swallowed a mouthful of habanero sauce on a dare. I ended up projectile vomiting on a wall outside, lost my sense of balance and fell over on the sidewalk, almost blacked out from the tightness in my chest, and had to refuse an ambulance that somebody had called. All for $5. FML
Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I participated in an obstacle course. As I was going over a set of monkey bars, my balls got crushed between the bar and my gut. I barely managed to get down before blacking out in the middle of the road. FML
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Top comments
alstbv12 13
At least people now can't make the joke that you're used to a bunch of wieners in your mouth.
AugustBurnsToast 14
You are the weakest link.
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Comments (124)
Matty1188 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Eww. Time to become a vegetarian?
jerseyboy732 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
considering it was a hot dog eating contest the dogs were probley made of mostly non mean fillers. more like time to become a real carnivore and upgrade to sabrett or Hebrew national
shannonreneee 11
I assume the OP didn't throw up because it was meat, they would've vomited due to struggling to quickly eat two hotdogs.
Tektite 14
Just two?? Awww come on...- Never mind, I would have done the same OP. Don't feel bad.
eb0ny 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Eating an excessive amount of hotdogs makes you throw up. YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GO VEGAN. JUST IN CASE.
MerrikBarbarian 9
10- I'm gonna assume "mean fillers" is an auto correct... But the mental image has me giggling none the less XD
jerseyboy732 16
supposed to be MEAT* fillers. but if it made you laugh then I guess my fail comment was a success after all
yahoowizard 16
It's never that time
The_Hitdude 12
50-You're not really in a position to correct anyone considering you used 'probley' in your first comment.
The_Hitdude 12
Oh, my bad. I thought 48 said it and you were correcting them. Back to the hole I go....
xoconnie 8
WTF are u ok??? 2 hotdogs and u puke? thats just embaressing.........
TheNinjaBacon 8
Go vegetarian? Hell no i want my bacon!!!! Mmmm...... Bacon
False_Stupidity 42
Screw hotdog eating contests... now a crispy bacon strips eating contest is something i'd want to be a part of.
Liammg 12
Since you're the messenger, can you tell PETA to stop pushing their agenda on the internet?
Keevarou 17
Why did you even enter when you're like that..? If you can not give something at a competition like that, don't do it at all :/ And maybe, just maybe, you're actually good at those contests, but you just failed this once
gamercanadian 11
I don't know why but this FML made me really laugh out loud.
biggestfan23 11
Maybe Joey Chesnutt can be his trainer for the next contest cause that's pretty bad
okiidokii_fml 6
Omg i saw this show called 1000 ways to die and this girl liked be thrown up on so when a guy threw up after a hotdog contest on her she open her mouth and choked on hot dog bits! GROSS
challan 19
74- your comment made me nauseous! Thanks for the waning not to EVER watch that movie. Oh gross.
pablopoo 7
1000 ways to die is so ******* fake haha:)
BABYPUNCHINGGUY 0
Were's kobiyashi when you need him?
ShyAnn29 15
76 it's a TV show, not a movie, but it can be pretty gross lol
alstbv12 13
At least people now can't make the joke that you're used to a bunch of wieners in your mouth.
mexicotoucher 7
Or jokes about how much OP can swallow.
MrBrightside21 20
Guys, I bet DP already gets enough crap.
Rommel1942 9
Brings a while to meaning to "hotdoggin'" it. :P
JustDerpin 11
what?
iStrukk 7
I believe you mean "a whole new meaning". Don't worry auto cucumber gets the best of us sometimes. Yes that was intentional.
onewaystreetpark 0
What?
Llama_Face89 34
I've heard of raw dogging but not hot dogging. :
jerseyboy732 16
probably needed mustard
AugustBurnsToast 14
You are the weakest link.
alstbv12 13
Good bye.
Rommel1942 9
Cuz I'm slim shady yes I'm the real shady... Haha what's up Toast ;D
AugustBurnsToast 14
Lmao ah yes I remember that! (see fml posted on 4/17 about shady girlfriend) Not much, keep bustin those rhymes Rommel :P
AugustBurnsToast 14
Also, I love it when Chuck Norris finishes my sentences!
silentblack 0
Lmao
Canucksftw24 6
I sense Stewies about to rage at you
Jacquelinia 6
I never understood those contests... How about a race next time?
IcyWeiner 0
The name of the contest leaves little to question... Being as there is a time limit and the person who eats the most in the alotted time wins, seems a bit, well, race-ish. Stay in (or consider going back to) school.
IcyWeiner 0
Whatever you say weeds, whatever you say man
kperkins897 11
She may not know what an eating contest is. How do you know that, "she can't grasp the purpose or motivation behind it." Are you friends? I just don't want to jump to any conclusions, but I think that asking her what she meant, will tell you what she meant.
KnightAngela1109 10
Maybe you turned on a lot of the Emetophilia out there
jerseyboy732 16
OP threw up after 2... not 4
SkoomaKi 28
It's okay! 2 hotdogs is fine for a guy, but you were beaten by a girl weren't you? Girls are you good at putting large things in their mouth. If you know what I mean.
LupeTabasco 5
It was probably a 115lbs asian guy. Those bastards can eat!
nofearjenshere 12
Hey, some guys are good at it too! Don't discriminate. ;b
eyecon502 13
Not many girls.