Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sent my resumé to a former coworker to get some pointers, except that I sent it to his old work email account and now my boss knows I’m looking for a new job. FML
Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, I accidentally put down the wrong year for my university graduation, so when my prospective boss was checking my references he found no mention of my name in that year's list of graduates. He accused me of faking my qualifications and refused to hire me. It was a 6-figure salary. FML
Today, I applied for my first job. I didn't know how to write a resume, so I copied and pasted one from someone else and reworked it. I got on the bus, handed it in, and left. Then I remembered I forgot to change the contact info and date. FML
Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
Today, I was emailing a government employee at the place I'm hoping to get hired by. I realized too late I had been emailing her with my personal email address, which is rather jokey and unprofessional. She noticed and started referring to me as that. FML
Today, I emailed my fiancé the assignment that I was handed for a journalism job interview, asking for him to take a look and give opinions about it. I accidentally e-mailed it to the job interviewer. She responded, and even CCed it to the CEO. FML
Today, I realized I had misspelled "Education" on all the resumes I've been submitting. FML
Today, I realized I sent over 2 dozen job applications with my dating profile word doc instead of my resume. FML
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Top comments
canadapresch 0
Your American boss probably won't know there is a Prime Minister of Canada.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Did ya get the job?(:
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Comments (319)
corndogs123 0
well this actually made me laugh. sucks for you though.
sailam777 0
I think it's hilarious...
xgetxbentx 13
email them again and explain the mistake?
nhougham 0
hahahahahha cerified gangster, that cracked me up
skulluks 0
Did you get the job gangster?
rewshrew 0
heads up we Canadians have prime minister!
CanadianBrew 0
Love how people think Canada have presidents, especially Americans. Canadians learn everything about the states starting at a young age right through highschool, yet the Americans don't kniow shit about Canada without Google. Sad.
Mitcha857 0
That's because in America, we don't care about Canada. Where as you wasted your time learning everything about us when you don't even live here. You lose another battle Canada, now gimme your maple syrup!
6sunshine6 1
lack of knowledge is defs not something to brag about. canada's pretty bad too though. students in most european countries learn a large amount of history about the entire world, not just about one continent.
hockey668717 0
just so u retards know... Canada doesn't have a president... WE HAVE A ******* PRIME MINISTER!!! get ur shit straight op... if ur gonna do something stupid at least do it right...
lexiemae97 9
hey! you stole my resume!!!!
Drigr 9
still getting a kick out of the people calling op a fucktard for the Canadian president thing. even more so that they laugh at the certified gangster. hello people. they ate BOTH jokes. gangsters aren't certified nor does Canada have a president. they are both meant to be funny.