Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML
Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML
Today, I felt rain on my face. I looked up and saw a man peeing out of a hot air balloon. FML
Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML
Today, I saw a little kid struggling with a balloon, so I tried to help tie it for her. It popped in my hands, and she started crying. Then her mom came running up, yelling, "What did you do to my daughter?" I had to run away while saying sorry. FML
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML
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Top comments
barbarajean 0
Thats what you get for makin out with balloon boy. Damn pedo.
Hannalea_fml 0
Someone needs a life.
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Comments (141)
RedPillSucks 33
Is deep-throating what they call "making out" these days? Unless you were doing some serious sucking or you had the (elongated balloon) firmly inserted, I'm apparently lacking the imagination to see how this happened.
danidee 0
that's actually awesome...lmfao...makes my life!!!!
johnfuknstamos 0
what's up with these idiots trying to make out with stupid shit
l3eto94 0
i suggest less tongue
RedPillSucks 33
Erm.... More tongue, less teeth?
newnew8 0
haha 36 up top made me laugh ;) but why would you make out wit a balloon ? most people do it with a pillow .,, but awhhe yea that's sad ;'(
celticmarine2005 2
You may be an idiot, but at least you're funny.
mexican_girl 0
Ok wtf, y is everyone trying to give tips like kissing their hand, pillow, or stuffed animal? I think I even saw grapefruit somewhere... Just wait till u get a bf/gf! Or drunk hookups ;)
FMLephant 2
if it was a real Guy something else would have shot in the back of your throat
soulofadancer 0
lmaoo
imhowie 2
YDI for being pathetic. Get a real person to make out with.
alexdear1029_fml_fml 0
you'd die if it got stuck in your throat?You would choke it happend to my uncle with plastic