Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML
Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML
Today, I felt rain on my face. I looked up and saw a man peeing out of a hot air balloon. FML
Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML
Today, I saw a little kid struggling with a balloon, so I tried to help tie it for her. It popped in my hands, and she started crying. Then her mom came running up, yelling, "What did you do to my daughter?" I had to run away while saying sorry. FML
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
barbarajean 0
Thats what you get for makin out with balloon boy. Damn pedo.
Hannalea_fml 0
Someone needs a life.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (141)
phishlips 0
Did you pop the question? Redefines the term deep-throating, doesn't it! I'm here all week.
aeckeard 0
clearly u r thee worlds worst kisser lol
oh_noes_that_suc 0
Thats rape followed by murder somebody arrest her!!!
Saiyza 4
It's a good thing you survived, or else you would have to explain what happened. Insult to injury.
0opsie 6
Haha, you made the balloon suicidal. :)
Compass 0
Did you die?
OreosBeGooood15 0
all I have to say is wow...and I agree with #44 lol definitely Fyl op
samadams42 0
ya that's what normal people do
MiiSsUnDerstood 4
Wtf is Op?..
Heussnhj 5
'Pretended,' right..