Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML
Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML
Today, I felt rain on my face. I looked up and saw a man peeing out of a hot air balloon. FML
Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML
Today, I saw a little kid struggling with a balloon, so I tried to help tie it for her. It popped in my hands, and she started crying. Then her mom came running up, yelling, "What did you do to my daughter?" I had to run away while saying sorry. FML
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML
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Top comments
barbarajean 0
Thats what you get for makin out with balloon boy. Damn pedo.
Hannalea_fml 0
Someone needs a life.
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Comments (141)
SquaresviL7e 0
Did you try to give it a hickey?
breebreebjg 0
ydi for making out with a balloon.
ilovejonathan13 0
Are you that ugly that you can't find a real person to make out with? Wow; Thanks for the laugh. Fyl for sure.
soonersbaby21 0
hahahahaha fyl. ditch the balloon and get a bf numbnuts. unless this is your way of staying disease free?
xxooxx_fml 0
fyl op. that made me chuckle quite a bit. instead of making out with balloons go out and meet some real people.
muzicluver829 0
desperate much?
boredinflorida 1
not an fml you lived....oh well Darwin's law will catch up to you soon enough
mattm211 0
you're doing wrong
aleekna 0
even a balloon doesn't wanna kiss you ;)
PwningLamp1 0
hey 65 does that mean I can make out with you???!!??