Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I worked up the courage at lunch to sit next to the girl I've been in love with for 3 years. Everything was going great. That is, until I sneezed and my retainer shot out my mouth, and landed in her lap. FML
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, in art class, I tried to attract my crush's attention by slowly sitting down in front of him. Too bad I missed the chair and fell onto the floor. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML
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Top comments
DjeePee 25
Stare seductively? I bet you scared the shit out of him with your creepy stare.
barlessprison 16
well at least you made an impression!
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Comments (146)
samuel18 0
lol how cute i would of just said it happens to the best of us
littlemissFYL 5
how cute? it's actually annoying when girls TRY to act cute in front of guys. OP deserved it.
Zoh_Aubrey 8
this FML is an true FML
instnt1nfction 17
*a
glenzhao2 16
Hey, who knows, maybe he's a vampire in which case you DID turn him on.
barlessprison 16
well at least you made an impression!
WiderWille 11
Bloody right
ritbbehindu 0
I see what you did there
instnt1nfction 17
well she didn't...
fadingfaith 4
It may not be a good impression but it's still an impression.
DropDead77 11
That's hot
FYLminerocks 7
Not really.. what kind of guy wants a girl who can't aim towards her mouth..
parxxx 0
how?
IndianRapper 0
87 im pretty sure he was being sarcastic..
dcam13 19
97, 87 would have to be stupid to not know that 4 was being sarcastic. ever heard of two people making sarcastic remarks? lol
YacL 15
Don't bother trying to act cute... just get on your knees and--JK, but really, don't bother trying to act cute... shut like that will happen... again.
YacL 15
shit*
EverybodyHatesCh 0
oooooo!! she said a bad woooood!!
wolve86 0
made it an actual bloody Mary I see
allmidnighteyes 11
littlegirl? Are you in elementary school? Was the straw from a juice box?
msj1093 0
your a bitch
princessjazz 0
Dude, that's funny
DjeePee 25
Stare seductively? I bet you scared the shit out of him with your creepy stare.
jklol11 0
hahahahahaha LMFAO
KBangUp13 0
pahahah! thts funny!:)
khaya 9
Well now he knows where not to stick it.
ribbyc80 0
next time, use a banana, it won't fit in ur nose
sourgirl101 29
I always break my banana into pieces before I eat them. Even when I'm home alone. I don't know why but I just do.(:
iamfreakinkylie 0
I do that with those big pickles lol
kingatowning 2
yet. key word "yet". it won't fit into her nose yet
ribbyc80 0
well, 47/67, u seem to have an aversion to put cylindrical objects in your mouth, on behalf of the male population that's unfortunate:-p BUT WAIT!!! there is a cure!!! and it takes lots of practice...
SpectSelf 0
that takes a lot if skill to do what you did
niki74_fml 0
yea true, also courage