Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter, since we have a class together. He wrote, "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny, until I realized the timestamp was when we have class together, and I sit in front of him. FML
Today, I realized that the guy that I've liked for the past 7 months is actually a girl. I've told all my friends about how much I like him, but no one bothered to tell me that he's actually a girl. FML
Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML
Today, I was paired up with a girl in my class for a project. She started crying. FML
Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML
Today, I spent almost my entire English class turned on thinking that the hot girl next to me was playing footsie with me. That is until she stood up and I realized I had been rubbing my foot on her backpack. FML
Today, my college instructor told me I hadn't actually failed a big exam as he originally said. It turns out he'd mixed me up with another student. Now thanks to the power of gossip, half my class thinks I slept with him so he'd switch my grade with the other student's. FML
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Top comments
iwadasn 33
There are some people like that at my school, including a teacher. Nobody knows whether it's a man or a woman, so we can't say "Mr." or Ms." We try not to address him/her at all, and in private we just call the teacher "it." We always feel bad about it, but there's seriously no way to tell. Some people are just like that.
emadee 0
oh ive done that before it was awful
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Comments (164)
fmh123 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You guys are crazy man! There are so many features that differ man from women. Shaved legs, skin, make up, BOOBS, ******, heels and purses
save_me_08 0
not all women have enough in the boob department to make them noticeably female...some girls just have boyish figures...and some men have...a good bit in the boob area which doesn't help the situation
KittenMarlowe 0
Yeah, because all women wear makeup, heels, and purses .Or shave their legs, for that matter.
lubby_fml 0
Plus all women walk around showin' off their ******'s....yup!
watermellon12 0
LMFAO LUBBY!
JustSoLost 8
LMAO # 30 and # 25. You guys are HILARIOUS. Made my day tho u guys are right LMAO.
cindayy77 0
I'm a girl and I never wear make up, and I NEVER carry a purse xD
o_O_0_o 0
Hhahaha. I knew this guy who looked like a chick, until he cut his hair. xD I always thought, wow look at those lesbos.. aw cute. And this year, this girl looks exactly like the guy... Funny shit. Ha
ireply_w_lyrics 0
"...Don't you remember The fizz in a pepper Peanuts in a bottle At ten, two and four A fried bologna sandwich With mayo and tomato Sittin' round the table Don't happen much anymore We got too complicated It's all way over-rated I like the old and out-dated Way of life Back when a hoe was a hoe Coke was a coke And crack's what you were doing When you were cracking jokes Back when a screw was a screw The wind was all that blew And when you said I'm down with that Well it meant you had the flu I miss back when I miss back when I miss back when..." Im sure many of you remember those times. you know, back when GIRLS LOOKED LIKE GIRLS
the_coon_fml 0
0! what is tht song? i heard it on the radio and its funny but it didnt say the name.
the_coon_fml 0
whats the name of this song?
ireply_w_lyrics 0
back when by tim mcgraw for future references, you could always copy and paste the lyrics into google ;)
the_coon_fml 0
haha thanks 'doug'
Unregistered 0
coon why dont you stick your head out of his ass and stop commenting under this dumbass
ireply_w_lyrics 0
Welcome, coon!
the_coon_fml 0
haha it feels good. jk:)
Ketz 0
What the **** do you have against this dude Unregistered?
the_coon_fml 0
what dude?
plutosaplanet 0
Girls will be boys and boys will be girls Its a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for lola would be a better song for this situation. please either a. reply with lyrics that fit better, b. find lyrics that dont take up half the page or c. (and i vote for c) stop replying at all
ireply_w_lyrics 0
A. They fit fine with my added comment, B. lyrics are no fun unless there's enough to recognize the song, or, if you don't know it off by heart, learn the basis of it, and C. I'm certain more people disagree with you than agree
Harry_Poochi 0
I completely agree with him. None of your lyrics even remotely go with the FML. Just stop.
ireply_w_lyrics 0
You sir, have no creativity. FYL However, while there are people who don't like my lyrics, there are more that do. You do not have to read them. It IS possible to scroll down without reading everything......
Harry_Poochi 0
And it IS possible to read an FML without leaving a shitty comment.
ireply_w_lyrics 0
thank god ive only left a couple of those :P
Soygirl 0
Ive Done That Before but The Guy Clapped For Me At The End. When it Was 'His' Turn Out Came A Girly Voice And i Noticed 'He' Had Boobs.
sublime93 0
Isn't that annoying? Capitalizing every word?
BadOwner 0
Today, i was reading the fmls with my brother. i said "wow these fmls are stupid. the mods must be on crack or something" Then, i got a knock at the door. it was an fml mod. she actually did do crack. i got karate chopped in the neck. fml
lifeislife_fml 0
^Bullshit of the day.
aback 5
Maybe you can get her a pink barrette as a peace offering.
skatagurl 0
deep voice?
XxHU4LxX 0
You deserved it.
waterynuggets 0
I agree with #33.
24788 7
Some people just are hard to tell and don't try. It's not always your fault. I've done this before at work. Usually you can tell from facial features though because women don't have an adams apple.