Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down...

By JamiesMom - 13/5/2013 04:29 - United States - Trenton

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

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JamiesMom tells us more :

Op here(: My son Jamie is a boy, our cat was too. I got him 8 years ago as a 1st anniversary gift from my husband. Aladdin(Cat's name) was already dead when our son tried to flush him, and Yes we've had many fish before. I hope that answers everyone's questions.

Animals

Season finale

Social distancing gone wrong

Workaholic

By Soaked - 20/5/2010 15:20 - United States

Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML

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By stupid - 27/5/2013 11:16 - Lithuania - Prienai

Today, I was taking a bus ride home, listening to some music. The music stopped and I assumed my iPod's battery had run out. Turns out someone managed to steal it, leaving my earphones in. I didn't feel a thing. FML

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By ineedalifekay - 24/5/2009 06:43 - Canada

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

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By zlotytarasy - 14/10/2009 22:03 - Poland

Today, I accepted a great job offer I've been working months to earn so I can continue to live with my fiancé here in Poland. I just found out that my work visa was denied. Now I have to fly home to Canada and reapply before coming back. This takes a month. My new job starts tomorrow. FML

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By helosthisshit - 1/11/2014 14:26 - United Kingdom - Linlithgow

Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his 10th beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML

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By sexyswollen - 24/10/2009 17:14 - Netherlands

Today, I woke up to find my face all red and swollen. Turns out it is caused by the medication I’ve been taking for over a week now. Only in very rare cases it will cause redness on your skin. I’m glad to know I’m special. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/5/2013 20:36 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband making out with his accountant, the same woman who comforted me when he cheated on me the year before. FML

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By hoo flung pu - 3/10/2013 08:26 - United States

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

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By StupidCar - 7/2/2009 20:56 - United States

Today, I spent 600 dollars to have my brakes fixed on my car, they weren't squeaking. I got my car back and now the brakes squeal and my air conditioning won't work. I just spent 600 dollars to break my car even more. FML

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By Parade - 28/2/2011 06:00 - United States

Today, I was on the bus, it hit a bump on the road and made me hit a elderly man. The bus driver thought I did it on purpose and made me get off. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/8/2011 23:06 - United States

Today, the workplace evacuation bell sounded. Out of panic after the recent earthquake, I ran down 21 flights of stairs, only to find out it was a false alarm. My legs are on fire, and I can barely walk. FML

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By coffeewench - 22/8/2017 04:29

Today, while I was reading in a park, a drunk bum started talking to me. After a few minutes of awkward conversation, he said, "You're really pretty, and you have nice eyes, but you have chubby cheeks. What's up with that? Did you eat a lot of peanuts when you were a kid or something?" FML

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By Gracie-Ann - 1/7/2013 06:38 - United States - Portland

Today, my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so he could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad responded with, "Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?" FML

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By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 03:08 - United States

Today, I was approached by a policeman who asked me if I was the owner of the green Camry. Turns out my parents decided to teach me a lesson for lying where I had been by reporting the car stolen. They also wouldn't answer my one phone call. FML

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By DemonicDummy - 5/1/2017 05:06

Today, after smoking, I sat down to watch Supernatural with my young cousin. I accidentally let out a burp during a demonic possession scene and, to our surprise, smoke came out of my mouth. Now there's a crying 11-year-old hiding somewhere in the house with salt. Mom will be home in 5 minutes. FML

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By Manatee - 11/5/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML

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By heckinfrick - 8/10/2020 08:01

What a headache

Today, it was the day of the doctor's appointment that I've been waiting for for eight months. I woke up with a fever and had to reschedule. The next appointment is next year. Guess I have to put up with my daily migraines until 2021. FML

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By Tcake - 19/5/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I was drying off with a towel after coming in from outside. I noticed that the bathroom smelled like cat pee, so I sniffed all around to find out where my cat peed. Turns out, he peed on the towel that I was drying myself off with. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/10/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

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By Vehophobic - 21/9/2020 07:05 - United Kingdom - Hounslow

Not a car person

Today, my grandfather called me for the first time since lockdown. Just like the last 3 times we spoke, he tried to pressure me into learning to drive, despite my making it clear that it absolutely terrifies me. He won't stop asking. FML

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By Scapegoat - 17/11/2018 13:30

Today, I found out that while I was at college, my brother downloaded three terabytes of porn on my laptop and blamed it on me. My parents believed him. FML

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By A.K. - 27/5/2009 12:40 - United States

Today, I was driving on the highway and a cop had his radar gun out. The woman in front of me panics and slams her brakes on, causing me to rear end her. The cop cited me for "tailgating" and I have to pay for the damages on both of our cars. FML

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By kryssa - 9/10/2020 23:01

Spread the news

Today, my boyfriend of six years is in the hospital after having a stroke. While being transferred to another hospital, I came to our home to get his phone to call his family, but instead was treated to text messages and voicemails from his other girlfriends. At least 4 of them so far. FML

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By presidont - 18/10/2009 12:25 - Switzerland

Today, it was the elections for Student Council President. I decided to be nice and vote for the only other competitor because it was her birthday. I lost by one vote. FML

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By salt. - 28/2/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML

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By Deaf - 2/7/2015 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

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By dammit - 1/2/2012 08:22 - United States

Today, my nap was cut short by three bricks flying through my window. FML

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By sexyfreak2510 - 3/9/2009 06:47 - South Africa

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

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By stinkypits - 23/6/2020 14:00

The pits

Today, I started six weeks of radiation on my left axillary region. Besides not being able to shave my armpit, I also can’t use lotion of any kind near the area, nor wear deodorant. This wouldn’t be a problem except it’s summer and I live in Southern California. The sweat is killing me. FML

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By TiredStudent - 12/6/2020 23:07 - Australia

Bottle bank

Today, I found out my last roommate had been stacking her empty wine bottles under the sink for the last 5 months. The cleaning lady who found them now thinks I'm an alcoholic, and threatened to report me to my landlord. FML

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By Avnirvana - 7/10/2020 23:01 - United States

Fair analysis

Today, I seriously considered writing in SCP-106 for president. I hate both candidates so much, I would willingly take President Radical Larry. FML

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By isthisajoke - 15/1/2009 03:49 - United States

Today, I was told that my mom and her new husband have named my new born brother "Titan". FML

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By Anonymous - 25/8/2011 18:21 - United States

Today, I got a mass text message from a friend saying she's sorry she can't meet up with our group of friends for drinks because she's busy tonight. This is the first I've heard of any bar-crawling. FML

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By mylifeeee - 25/2/2009 17:07 - United States

Today, in art class we finally had the critique for the self portraits we've been working on for a month. We critique a few and come to mine. Everyone is silent. Finally, one girl says "I'm just going to be blunt. It doesn't look like you. You're not that pretty." Everyone nods. FML

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By Angie - 9/9/2011 23:18 - France

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

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By mrsekko - 31/5/2011 12:44 - United States

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

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By drug testing - 9/5/2013 22:22 - United States - Little Chute

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

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By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/1/2016 14:18 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was fired. Not only was I fired with no warning, not only was my friend the one who fired me, but I was fired from the unpaid volunteering position I took to help her out. FML

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By astroloser - 7/3/2009 16:10 - Philippines

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

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Top comments

By DooleyFTW | 17

#5489857 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

Unclog the toilet with a hairbrush?

By SS99_fml | 20

#5489856 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

Well who used up the other 8 lives?

COMMENTS

By SS99_fml | 20

#5489856 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

Well who used up the other 8 lives?

IAmJad | 18

#5489932 - Monday 13 May 2013 14:00

Ba dum tsssss

ilovedinosawers | 17

#5490636 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 1:58

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By DooleyFTW | 17

#5489857 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

Unclog the toilet with a hairbrush?

jakeydudey | 13

#5489999 - Monday 13 May 2013 15:59

69 thumbs up...

iworryaboutyou | 4

#5490072 - Monday 13 May 2013 17:53

OMG HAHAHHAHA YOU SAW THAT TOO?

spazz666 | 18

#5490132 - Monday 13 May 2013 19:50

I've seen past FML references but I think this is the first time I've ever seen a reference to and FML that was posted AFTER the one being commented on...

By DocBastard | 38

#5489858 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

I hope it was either a very small cat or a very big toilet.

slickchrome | 11

#5489898 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:05

It doesn't matter it's already dead

kryxen | 14

#5490033 - Monday 13 May 2013 16:39

When I first read it, I thought the cat died from the kid trying to flush it. I was very confused how the kid managed to do that to a live cat.

Olympiakos10 | 15

#5490380 - Monday 13 May 2013 23:18

Or thousands of gallons pushing against the cat as it is stuck until it explodes through pipes into the watery abyss that is fish heaven. Too dark?

groovycrazyjoe | 18

#5490452 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 0:05

making me mad because how she didn't hear the cat screaming? she deserved it not the cat

JamiesMom | 10

#5490459 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 0:15

Our cat was already dead when my son tried to flush him. Dead Cats don't scream.

groovycrazyjoe | 18

#5490538 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 1:17

so what a dead pussy laying around the house. I just don't understand

JamiesMom | 10

#5490558 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 1:29

He was in a shoe box on the counter. My husband went to get a shovel so we could bury him.

bamagrl410 | 31

#5490858 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 5:28

This is the first FML in a long time that actually made me laugh out loud, and after reading these comments I wasn't able to contain it anymore.

Jessj958 | 19

#5490938 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 6:55

66, are you dumb?! Reading and comprehension is a 1st grade skill, practice sometime.

gotaplanstan | 28

#5491329 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 15:19

Inb4jamieneedstherapy20yearsfromnow

ohjoy15 | 33

#5491346 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 15:53

@#36 I'm thinking maybe it was a kitten. A full grown cat would have jumped out of the toilet and run away.

groovycrazyjoe | 18

#5494865 - Thursday 16 May 2013 23:02

@81 no I am not dumb are you because clearly her fml left out some information

BirdieCurls | 25

#5845837 - Saturday 1 February 2014 19:23

@86 and 96. IT WAS ALREADY DEAD. Reread the FML before commenting, please.

By CammyGal | 26

#5489860 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:33

Poor kitty... :/ R.I.P. and hopefully you'll teach your son what to do when bigger animals die. The toilet is not a graveyard (except for fishies).

ShyAnn29 | 14

#5489888 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:59

Where does it say a son?

ShyAnn29 | 14

#5489891 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:01

This app is acting weird

death943 | 10

#5489928 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:46

"All drains lead to ocean" *cough*Nemo*cough*

CammyGal | 26

#5490088 - Monday 13 May 2013 18:31

It said "my son" at first but was changed to "my five year old".

DDCA | 24

#5494207 - Thursday 16 May 2013 13:04

I think #41 needs to lay off the catnip.

By dinosxxrawr | 22

#5489861 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:35

hopefully the toilet didn't use up the rest of the kitty's lives.

ShyAnn29 | 14

#5489895 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:02

It said the kitty died

ShyAnn29 | 14

#5493646 - Thursday 16 May 2013 0:57

What!? I don't understand this comment, I mean, of course it used up the cats lives, it died before the kid tried to flush it.

By Ambient25 | 24

#5489863 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:35

So...are you sure the cat died before that?

JamiesMom | 10

#5490374 - Monday 13 May 2013 23:12

He was dead. My husband had went out to buy a new shovel so we could bury him and left him in a shoe box on the counter when my son saw our dead cat inside the shoe box and decided to try and flush him like a fish :(

By ozpunker | 20

#5489869 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:44

At least his girlfriend didn't try to unclog it with your hairbrush.

By samreimer | 7

#5489872 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:47

Sorry for your loss OP. Years of caring for and loving that cat, all down the drain.

By xALEXx_fml | 15

#5489878 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:51

R.I.P toilet kitty ;)

By bReLiNg | 18

#5489882 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:54

How did the kid get a hold of the body? Unless- the cat was still alive when the flushing occurred....

SlapAndTickle | 20

#5489899 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:07

Perhaps the cat died before the parents knew about it and the son found it. Wow, does everyone overlook the simple things or is this only on FML?

mbuck87 | 19

#5489949 - Monday 13 May 2013 14:45

Then how did the parents know the cat was already dead?

ballpython | 15

#5490045 - Monday 13 May 2013 16:53

Usually live cats usually don't allow themselves to be put into toilets, or any body of water for that matter. Sorry for your loss OP.

JamiesMom | 10

#5490377 - Monday 13 May 2013 23:14

My husband had left him in a shoebox on the counter while he went to buy a new shovel(We had loaned it to a neighbor who moved away before he could give it back)