Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down...

By JamiesMom - 13/5/2013 04:29 - United States - Trenton

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

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JamiesMom Say more :

Op here(: My son Jamie is a boy, our cat was too. I got him 8 years ago as a 1st anniversary gift from my husband. Aladdin(Cat's name) was already dead when our son tried to flush him, and Yes we've had many fish before. I hope that answers everyone's questions.

Animals

Family values

Boozehound

Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

By Duplighost - 12/1/2012 20:16 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/9/2010 01:47 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML

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By ambiiii - 20/8/2015 03:25 - United States - Marble Falls

Today, my niece started crying because she thought that someday she'll look like me. FML

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By B.B - 7/10/2016 14:03 - United States - New York

Today, my husband brought me breakfast in bed. Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful and love him even more for the thought. But the only problem with breakfast in bed is that you have to eat what they bring you, even if it's bad. FML

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By - 31/12/2020 20:00

Lost again

Today, the boy I like, came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

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By iliterallypoopedmyself - 19/1/2012 01:54 - Australia

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

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By ovawerkrd - 16/1/2011 17:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I finished working a week's overtime managing admin, stock, finances, and three members of staff. I realised that despite all my extra work, I actually earn less per hour than the students who only work on the weekends. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/10/2015 02:14 - United States - Redmond

Today, my mom texted me, asking what I'd like her to get for dinner tonight. I texted back "Something exotic if you're up for it :)". Except I accidentally typed "erotic". I only noticed the typo when I checked after getting no reply. She comes home in a couple of hours. Shit, shit, shit. FML

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By WTF? - 12/8/2013 04:49 - United States - Mesa

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML

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By youknowyoureoptimisticwhen - 8/11/2015 16:45 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I went to McDonald's. I was unaware of the Monopoly contest that they were holding. I was also unaware that you have to get 3 stickers of the same colour to claim your prize, and that it's not that easy to win a Jeep Cherokee. Taking down my Facebook post was awkward. FML

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By That_guy - 12/2/2012 06:02 - United States

Today, I got a new job. This would've been a good thing, but apparently, the person I'm replacing was very well-liked around my workplace. All of my co-workers hate me now for replacing someone who I don't even know. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/7/2015 02:04 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML

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By Anonymous - 9/9/2015 00:03

Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML

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By workaholic - 6/3/2014 16:24 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I thought I'd finally finished the special project my boss gave me of changing the eligibility details on several hundred loans. My coworker later pointed out that the document was the same as it had been hours before, and that the changes I made hadn't saved at all. FML

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By nadalada - 18/2/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/5/2013 18:41 - United States - Downey

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

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By Nurse - 31/8/2018 15:00

Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML

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By kebaby - 19/6/2010 23:19 - United States

Today, I spent a long time steam-cleaning a mystery stain on my living room carpet. I turned the light on to get a better look at it, and realized that it was a shadow. FML

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By David - 1/9/2009 04:03 - United States

Today, I decided to ride my rusty old bike to work, since it will help the environment. I was standing up and had a tight grip on the handle bars. The handle bars came off and I fell down on the cross bar, busting my nuts. FML

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By hnickell93 - 9/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/9/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/4/2013 16:35 - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he says I need to learn how to be happy without relying on him. I'm not a clinger, I'm just unhappy because my dad recently passed away, my best friend turned on me, and I lost out on the exchange program of my dreams. FML

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By oh no - 22/6/2015 20:58 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

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By spriggs - 25/7/2010 09:06 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

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By Anonymous - 8/10/2010 16:33 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML

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By keep_your_eyes_on_the_sidewalk - 25/6/2018 15:00

Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML

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By Deaththreat101 - 8/8/2012 20:39 - United States - Evanston

Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML

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By teinage - 2/5/2011 18:47 - Belgium

Today, some kids stole all four wheels off my car. They were nice enough to leave a note and some money though, "for the bus". FML

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By Anonymous - 27/8/2012 22:21 - France - Paris

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/7/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in my front yard. As I stormed off in my dramatic exit, I realized I had locked myself outside. I had to ask my now ex-boyfriend to borrow his phone so I could call my mom. FML

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By idk - 4/9/2015 14:15 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I was getting ready to go out with my family. As I was putting my phone in my purse, my father told me I wouldn't need it because we were going to spend 'quality time' together. The entire time I was there, everyone was staring at their phone. I was the only one without one. FML

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By whatashame - 1/4/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

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By cereal stepper - 23/10/2016 09:42

Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML

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By moreliketurdmart - 3/6/2013 16:48 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML

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By seriousdubsteplover - 30/10/2009 05:08 - Australia

Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML

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By Coffee Boy - 23/6/2012 04:55 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML

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By peppergirl - 30/12/2020 20:00

Sewing project

Today, I was doing a sewing project in class. My friend said we should get the teachers to model our designs. I said that I did not think I would have enough material to make clothes for one of the teachers. I said this in front of the whole class very loudly, while the teacher was right next to me. FML

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By douchegamer - 3/3/2013 03:38 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/2/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

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By hotmommy - 20/12/2010 00:23

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

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Top comments

By DooleyFTW | 17

#5489857 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

Unclog the toilet with a hairbrush?

By SS99_fml | 20

#5489856 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

Well who used up the other 8 lives?

Comments

By SS99_fml | 20

#5489856 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

Well who used up the other 8 lives?

IAmJad | 18

#5489932 - Monday 13 May 2013 14:00

Ba dum tsssss

ilovedinosawers | 17

#5490636 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 1:58

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By DooleyFTW | 17

#5489857 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

Unclog the toilet with a hairbrush?

jakeydudey | 13

#5489999 - Monday 13 May 2013 15:59

69 thumbs up...

iworryaboutyou | 4

#5490072 - Monday 13 May 2013 17:53

OMG HAHAHHAHA YOU SAW THAT TOO?

spazz666 | 18

#5490132 - Monday 13 May 2013 19:50

I've seen past FML references but I think this is the first time I've ever seen a reference to and FML that was posted AFTER the one being commented on...

By DocBastard | 38

#5489858 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

I hope it was either a very small cat or a very big toilet.

slickchrome | 11

#5489898 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:05

It doesn't matter it's already dead

kryxen | 14

#5490033 - Monday 13 May 2013 16:39

When I first read it, I thought the cat died from the kid trying to flush it. I was very confused how the kid managed to do that to a live cat.

Olympiakos10 | 15

#5490380 - Monday 13 May 2013 23:18

Or thousands of gallons pushing against the cat as it is stuck until it explodes through pipes into the watery abyss that is fish heaven. Too dark?

groovycrazyjoe | 18

#5490452 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 0:05

making me mad because how she didn't hear the cat screaming? she deserved it not the cat

JamiesMom | 10

#5490459 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 0:15

Our cat was already dead when my son tried to flush him. Dead Cats don't scream.

groovycrazyjoe | 18

#5490538 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 1:17

so what a dead pussy laying around the house. I just don't understand

JamiesMom | 10

#5490558 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 1:29

He was in a shoe box on the counter. My husband went to get a shovel so we could bury him.

bamagrl410 | 31

#5490858 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 5:28

This is the first FML in a long time that actually made me laugh out loud, and after reading these comments I wasn't able to contain it anymore.

Jessj958 | 19

#5490938 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 6:55

66, are you dumb?! Reading and comprehension is a 1st grade skill, practice sometime.

gotaplanstan | 28

#5491329 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 15:19

Inb4jamieneedstherapy20yearsfromnow

ohjoy15 | 33

#5491346 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 15:53

@#36 I'm thinking maybe it was a kitten. A full grown cat would have jumped out of the toilet and run away.

groovycrazyjoe | 18

#5494865 - Thursday 16 May 2013 23:02

@81 no I am not dumb are you because clearly her fml left out some information

BirdieCurls | 25

#5845837 - Saturday 1 February 2014 19:23

@86 and 96. IT WAS ALREADY DEAD. Reread the FML before commenting, please.

By CammyGal | 26

#5489860 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:33

Poor kitty... :/ R.I.P. and hopefully you'll teach your son what to do when bigger animals die. The toilet is not a graveyard (except for fishies).

ShyAnn29 | 14

#5489888 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:59

Where does it say a son?

ShyAnn29 | 14

#5489891 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:01

This app is acting weird

death943 | 10

#5489928 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:46

"All drains lead to ocean" *cough*Nemo*cough*

CammyGal | 26

#5490088 - Monday 13 May 2013 18:31

It said "my son" at first but was changed to "my five year old".

DDCA | 24

#5494207 - Thursday 16 May 2013 13:04

I think #41 needs to lay off the catnip.

By dinosxxrawr | 22

#5489861 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:35

hopefully the toilet didn't use up the rest of the kitty's lives.

ShyAnn29 | 14

#5489895 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:02

It said the kitty died

ShyAnn29 | 14

#5493646 - Thursday 16 May 2013 0:57

What!? I don't understand this comment, I mean, of course it used up the cats lives, it died before the kid tried to flush it.

By Ambient25 | 24

#5489863 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:35

So...are you sure the cat died before that?

JamiesMom | 10

#5490374 - Monday 13 May 2013 23:12

He was dead. My husband had went out to buy a new shovel so we could bury him and left him in a shoe box on the counter when my son saw our dead cat inside the shoe box and decided to try and flush him like a fish :(

By ozpunker | 20

#5489869 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:44

At least his girlfriend didn't try to unclog it with your hairbrush.

By samreimer | 7

#5489872 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:47

Sorry for your loss OP. Years of caring for and loving that cat, all down the drain.

By xALEXx_fml | 15

#5489878 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:51

R.I.P toilet kitty ;)

By bReLiNg | 18

#5489882 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:54

How did the kid get a hold of the body? Unless- the cat was still alive when the flushing occurred....

SlapAndTickle | 20

#5489899 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:07

Perhaps the cat died before the parents knew about it and the son found it. Wow, does everyone overlook the simple things or is this only on FML?

mbuck87 | 19

#5489949 - Monday 13 May 2013 14:45

Then how did the parents know the cat was already dead?

ballpython | 15

#5490045 - Monday 13 May 2013 16:53

Usually live cats usually don't allow themselves to be put into toilets, or any body of water for that matter. Sorry for your loss OP.

JamiesMom | 10

#5490377 - Monday 13 May 2013 23:14

My husband had left him in a shoebox on the counter while he went to buy a new shovel(We had loaned it to a neighbor who moved away before he could give it back)