Animals: Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down...

By JamiesMom - United States - Trenton

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54876

You deserved it

5149

Favorite

JamiesMom tells us more :

Op here(: My son Jamie is a boy, our cat was too. I got him 8 years ago as a 1st anniversary gift from my husband. Aladdin(Cat's name) was already dead when our son tried to flush him, and Yes we've had many fish before. I hope that answers everyone's questions.

Animals

Instadrama

Out of it

Night terrors

By TMI - United States

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

113142

You deserved it

7032

Favorite

By Faluna - Sweden

Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40131

You deserved it

4189

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25320

You deserved it

13290

Favorite

By joyf - United States - San Francisco

It's hot!

Today, my boyfriend's parents came over. It got hot, so I took off the jacket I was wearing, but I forgot I wasn't wearing a shirt underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks

768

You deserved it

2319

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/11/2020 20:04

Caught red-handed

Today, my girlfriend and I got busted by the cops having sex in a dark parking lot near the beach. As if that wasn't bad enough, as I was trying to talk my way out of a ticket, one of the cops peeks into the car window and I hear my girlfriend awkwardly giggle and say, "Hi daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks

985

You deserved it

509

Favorite

By fuck Star Wars - 14/9/2020 10:02

The Force is weak with this one

Today, I sat through 9 gruelling hours of Star Wars with my boyfriend. I hate those movies with a passion and frankly would rather get a pap smear from Wolverine than watch them. Afterwards, he dumped me for yawning, saying that I didn’t take a “serious” interest in his favorite things. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1355

You deserved it

750

Favorite

By uglyshoegirl - Canada - Brampton

Today, I sent a picture to my best friend of the shoes I want to wear to prom. She replied, "Wow those are so unique". I guess she forgot that last week she told me she only uses the word unique when she hates something. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29782

You deserved it

3127

Favorite

By - France

Today, I just realised that the coworker I refused to leave my wife for is now happily married with someone else, while I'm now divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13396

You deserved it

31381

Favorite

By Anonymous - Germany - Berlin

Today, I excitedly told my brother I submitted a short story for a competition for the first time ever. His reply? "Congrats. I guess the first letter of rejection is a special occasion." Gee, thanks for that reality check. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12339

You deserved it

1210

Favorite

By FUCK YOU - United States

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45341

You deserved it

15101

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to choose between living with my over protective dad who only uses me for free childcare, or my pot smoking mom who always needs to borrow money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41624

You deserved it

2993

Favorite

By emoflowers - United States - Amarillo

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29349

You deserved it

3314

Favorite

By hardlyworking - United States

Today, I was on a conference call and digital meeting at work when I got bored and started surfing the Internet. Little did I know that my desktop was being shared. My boss was on the call and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7640

You deserved it

37639

Favorite

By porkeater - United States

Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43254

You deserved it

13582

Favorite

By preggers - United States

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I are divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37292

You deserved it

3606

Favorite

By Amb - United States

Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39929

You deserved it

6163

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom tells my sister that she is worried about her because she has a headache and feels like she might be getting a slight cold. I have had the flu for two weeks and have a 103 degree fever. I ask, "What about me?" Her response? "Stay away from your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36172

You deserved it

2903

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is getting back together with his crazy alcoholic ex-wife who frequently cheated on him. In addition to this news, I also found out that he maxed out all my credit cards. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33579

You deserved it

4854

Favorite

By HereWeGoAgain - United States

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38848

You deserved it

3060

Favorite

By a-non - United States

Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46950

You deserved it

8185

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20669

You deserved it

48423

Favorite

By Anonymous - 22/10/2020 05:01 - Germany - Aachen

Not now, mom, I'm in pain

Today, my mom wrote me an email, asking how I was doing after an accident yesterday. I wrote back at length, telling her everything in detail. Two hours later, she calls me on the phone, asking how I am. She was simply too lazy to check her mail and expected me to tell her everything a second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

888

You deserved it

165

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67606

You deserved it

15767

Favorite

By pkz - France

Today, I found out that my husband of five years was living a double life. He and his mistress have two children together and a third one on the way. He told me the only reason he stayed with me was for my money. I make about 8 dollars an hour and work two jobs to make ends meet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50920

You deserved it

2880

Favorite

By defrauded - United Kingdom - Oban

Today, I bought a textbook for my college class. Not only is the £150 book only sold by our teacher, it turned out to be a piece of shit that he obviously wrote, printed, and stapled together at home. When I went to the faculty about it, I was told it's all perfectly legal, and to drop it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36701

You deserved it

3045

Favorite

By pampa31 - Mexico - Tijuana

Today, while I was driving, there was a high speed car chase. The runaway managed to avoid my car but the police didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25671

You deserved it

1683

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/10/2020 20:01 - Australia - Sydney

Stuck

Today, I was told by my boss if I was late one more time he fired me. I replied, "Can I quit then if that's the case." He then said no, and gave me more shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

409

You deserved it

939

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Staycation time

Today, £250 of money belonging to work was stolen from my handbag. My boss says I have to pay it back because I'm the one that signed out the cash. There goes the holiday I was about to book. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6241

You deserved it

997

Favorite

By lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40139

You deserved it

16526

Favorite

By NotSarahConnor - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boss thought it was funny to fire me by putting on dark sunglasses and saying "You have been terminated" in a bad Arnold Schwarzenegger voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4825

You deserved it

369

Favorite

By Awkward Jeff

Today, I was home alone, so for fun I put red lipstick on. A few minutes later, my doorbell rang. I managed to get it off before I got the door. I saw my neighbor, and had a long conversation with him. After which, I came inside and realized I had lipstick all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1343

You deserved it

732

Favorite

By "BunnysKitty" - United States - Columbia City

Today, I wanted to pack my lunch with some of my homemade meatloaf leftover from last night's dinner, but I couldn't find it anywhere in my fridge. Later in the evening, my boyfriend's parents invited us over for dinner. They served meatloaf. The meatloaf they stole from my fridge last night when they visited. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5700

You deserved it

338

Favorite

By kris - United States - Upland

Today, not even a week after I was laid off from my job, I got a call from my old boss. He offered me a "new" job at the company, which turned out to be just like my old one, but with drastically reduced pay. I'm so broke and desperate that I accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42577

You deserved it

4295

Favorite

By fmlfmlfml - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!". He got mad and left my house. It was my dad from Ohio. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53268

You deserved it

4826

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Irving

Today, I went through an entire roll of toilet paper in just over an hour. You win this time, questionable pork souvlaki. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23968

You deserved it

3729

Favorite

By Gabby - United States

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8347

You deserved it

23263

Favorite

By thatstinks - Iceland

Today, I finally found out what the weird sour smell that's been in my dorm room for a while is. My roommate's sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30415

You deserved it

2955

Favorite

By Unreciprocated - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I said "I love you" to my girlfriend for the first time. She responded with, "I'm just gonna pretend I never heard that." FML

I agree, your life sucks

25205

You deserved it

2452

Favorite

By Demotivation - Germany - Berlin

Today, I was once again handed a document to translate along with the comment "Good luck, it doesn't make sense to begin with." If my translation doesn't, though, I will not get paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40341

You deserved it

3069

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Tucson

Today, I got laid off. Walking out of the building, I saw someone on crutches and thought, "Hey, at least I can still walk." Two hours later, I blew out my knee playing basketball. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36924

You deserved it

8120

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By DooleyFTW | 17

#5489857 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

Unclog the toilet with a hairbrush?

By SS99_fml | 20

#5489856 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

Well who used up the other 8 lives?

COMMENTS

By SS99_fml | 20

#5489856 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

Well who used up the other 8 lives?

IAmJad | 18

#5489932 - Monday 13 May 2013 14:00

Ba dum tsssss

ilovedinosawers | 17

#5490636 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 1:58

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By DooleyFTW | 17

#5489857 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

Unclog the toilet with a hairbrush?

jakeydudey | 13

#5489999 - Monday 13 May 2013 15:59

69 thumbs up...

iworryaboutyou | 4

#5490072 - Monday 13 May 2013 17:53

OMG HAHAHHAHA YOU SAW THAT TOO?

spazz666 | 18

#5490132 - Monday 13 May 2013 19:50

I've seen past FML references but I think this is the first time I've ever seen a reference to and FML that was posted AFTER the one being commented on...

By DocBastard | 38

#5489858 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

I hope it was either a very small cat or a very big toilet.

slickchrome | 11

#5489898 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:05

It doesn't matter it's already dead

kryxen | 14

#5490033 - Monday 13 May 2013 16:39

When I first read it, I thought the cat died from the kid trying to flush it. I was very confused how the kid managed to do that to a live cat.

Olympiakos10 | 15

#5490380 - Monday 13 May 2013 23:18

Or thousands of gallons pushing against the cat as it is stuck until it explodes through pipes into the watery abyss that is fish heaven. Too dark?

groovycrazyjoe | 18

#5490452 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 0:05

making me mad because how she didn't hear the cat screaming? she deserved it not the cat

JamiesMom | 10

#5490459 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 0:15

Our cat was already dead when my son tried to flush him. Dead Cats don't scream.

groovycrazyjoe | 18

#5490538 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 1:17

so what a dead pussy laying around the house. I just don't understand

JamiesMom | 10

#5490558 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 1:29

He was in a shoe box on the counter. My husband went to get a shovel so we could bury him.

bamagrl410 | 31

#5490858 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 5:28

This is the first FML in a long time that actually made me laugh out loud, and after reading these comments I wasn't able to contain it anymore.

Jessj958 | 19

#5490938 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 6:55

66, are you dumb?! Reading and comprehension is a 1st grade skill, practice sometime.

gotaplanstan | 28

#5491329 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 15:19

Inb4jamieneedstherapy20yearsfromnow

ohjoy15 | 33

#5491346 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 15:53

@#36 I'm thinking maybe it was a kitten. A full grown cat would have jumped out of the toilet and run away.

groovycrazyjoe | 18

#5494865 - Thursday 16 May 2013 23:02

@81 no I am not dumb are you because clearly her fml left out some information

BirdieCurls | 25

#5845837 - Saturday 1 February 2014 19:23

@86 and 96. IT WAS ALREADY DEAD. Reread the FML before commenting, please.

By CammyGal | 26

#5489860 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:33

Poor kitty... :/ R.I.P. and hopefully you'll teach your son what to do when bigger animals die. The toilet is not a graveyard (except for fishies).

ShyAnn29 | 14

#5489888 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:59

Where does it say a son?

ShyAnn29 | 14

#5489891 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:01

This app is acting weird

death943 | 10

#5489928 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:46

"All drains lead to ocean" *cough*Nemo*cough*

CammyGal | 26

#5490088 - Monday 13 May 2013 18:31

It said "my son" at first but was changed to "my five year old".

DDCA | 24

#5494207 - Thursday 16 May 2013 13:04

I think #41 needs to lay off the catnip.

By dinosxxrawr | 22

#5489861 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:35

hopefully the toilet didn't use up the rest of the kitty's lives.

ShyAnn29 | 14

#5489895 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:02

It said the kitty died

ShyAnn29 | 14

#5493646 - Thursday 16 May 2013 0:57

What!? I don't understand this comment, I mean, of course it used up the cats lives, it died before the kid tried to flush it.

By Ambient25 | 24

#5489863 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:35

So...are you sure the cat died before that?

JamiesMom | 10

#5490374 - Monday 13 May 2013 23:12

He was dead. My husband had went out to buy a new shovel so we could bury him and left him in a shoe box on the counter when my son saw our dead cat inside the shoe box and decided to try and flush him like a fish :(

By ozpunker | 20

#5489869 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:44

At least his girlfriend didn't try to unclog it with your hairbrush.

By samreimer | 7

#5489872 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:47

Sorry for your loss OP. Years of caring for and loving that cat, all down the drain.

By xALEXx_fml | 15

#5489878 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:51

R.I.P toilet kitty ;)

By bReLiNg | 18

#5489882 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:54

How did the kid get a hold of the body? Unless- the cat was still alive when the flushing occurred....

SlapAndTickle | 20

#5489899 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:07

Perhaps the cat died before the parents knew about it and the son found it. Wow, does everyone overlook the simple things or is this only on FML?

mbuck87 | 19

#5489949 - Monday 13 May 2013 14:45

Then how did the parents know the cat was already dead?

ballpython | 15

#5490045 - Monday 13 May 2013 16:53

Usually live cats usually don't allow themselves to be put into toilets, or any body of water for that matter. Sorry for your loss OP.

JamiesMom | 10

#5490377 - Monday 13 May 2013 23:14

My husband had left him in a shoebox on the counter while he went to buy a new shovel(We had loaned it to a neighbor who moved away before he could give it back)