Animals: Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down...

By JamiesMom - United States - Trenton

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

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JamiesMom tells us more :

Op here(: My son Jamie is a boy, our cat was too. I got him 8 years ago as a 1st anniversary gift from my husband. Aladdin(Cat's name) was already dead when our son tried to flush him, and Yes we've had many fish before. I hope that answers everyone's questions.

Animals

Late term

Empathy hurts

Vibe check

By caiti - United States

Today, I had a job interview and things were going really well until I noticed the woman interviewing me staring at the inside of my elbow. I am recovering from a poison sumac rash, and each spot looks like a puncture wound from a syringe. I was dismissed before the interview was over. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/5/2021 10:01 - United States - Schertz

It's a gas gas gas

Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML

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By kanenakid - United States

Today, I realized the closest person I have to a friend is the debt collector who calls me every day. FML

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By f my lifw - United States - King Of Prussia

Today, I went to buy some makeup. As I was checking out, the cashier said, "You're going to need more than that to cover up that face." FML

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By Windstar - Canada

Preference

Today, my daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not your mommy." My daughters reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML

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By wookieewhosshe

Today, I woke up on the floor with my feet still in the bed. I had passed out while vomiting into a bucket, since I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. The bucket had spilled all over my bed. FML

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By Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

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By Danny

Today, after being together for 8 months, I learned that not only was my boyfriend a liar, but that he is also married and has been for 4 years. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I found out my roommate Skypes my friends on my laptop when I'm away. Not only that, he covers his face and shows them his junk. My friends no longer answer Skype calls from me. FML

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By diapersplease - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML

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Today, it's my birthday. I spent $100 on myself, using it to set up an account so that my son can call me from jail. FML

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Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

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By immy504 - United States

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

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Today, a coworker told my manager that I and another girl were plotting to get her fired at the end of the month. She actually believed her. Now we're suspended without pay for two weeks for conspiracy. FML

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Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Oceanside

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

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Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I paid a repair man $65 to come to my house and fix my washer. He walked in, looked at the washer, bent over and removed a large steel bolt with a bright red tag sticking out the side saying "Remove before use." He then looked at me and said "all fixed." FML

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By Anonymous - 16/9/2020 22:01 - Australia - Traralgon

Best gift ever

Today, my toddler handed me a present and told me to keep it forever. It was a piece of dog poo. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Southfield

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Arlington

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words, "Lisa, will you…" then abruptly shat my pants. FML

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By buttpain

Today, being a snow day, I decided to take a nice nap before resuming cleaning my room. Changed back into pajamas, climbed into bed, and found that one of the cats peed on my sheets. I've made negative progress, and had my underwear soaked in someone else's cold urine. FML

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By momof2boys - United States

Today, my two boys decided to draw in permanent marker on the leather seats of the car I have had up for sale for 3 weeks with no interest. I call my husband to tell him we're going to have to keep it. He just made an appointment with a guy who has cash and is ready to buy it tomorrow. FML

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Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML

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By funyfunkid - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

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By duckwater - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

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By Claire.L

Catch 22

Today, I gave my boss a two-month notice. He threatened me by saying he wouldn't provide a reference if I quit in July instead of August. I need the reference to pursue my dream to work in the USA as a nanny. I have no other choice, I either work under their pressure or start all over. FML.

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By RosaMaravillosa - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, after being constipated a few days, I used the restroom at a bar. It took a loooong time before I got out. As I went to exit the bar, only the employees were still there, waiting for me because they had closed 30 minutes ago. FML

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By becstar90 - United States

Today, I was taking a picture with my friend. Her camera can pick out a certain color and only have that color show up in the picture. She chose yellow because of the yellow on my dress. When she showed me the picture, the sash wasn't the only yellow thing; my teeth showed up, too. FML

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By lollerskate - United States

Today, my smoke alarm went off. In a frenzy, I called 9-1-1 and exited my house. Several minutes later a fire truck showed up. After investigating, one of the firemen informed me I needed to change the batteries in my smoke alarm. FML

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By Anonymous

Impossible relationship

Today, I had another dinner with the girl that I started dating a few weeks ago. During dinner, we talked about our families. We realized that we're actually cousins. FML

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1794

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By rnw - Australia - Sydney

Ouch

Today, I thought my knee hurt because of over exercising in the gym. Then I remembered it was because I smacked it against my chair so hard I crumbled down and couldn't move for 5 minutes. And how I remembered? I did it again. FML

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12038

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By damn... - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML

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By tiffany - Canada

Today, after having lost 11 pounds following my pregnancy, I felt sexy and put on a cute outfit for my husband. When he walked into the bedroom, he ended up passing me three times, and then went to bed without a word. FML

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By matte - Australia

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML

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By Bitch its me - Korea Republic of

Today, I got up at five, got dressed, and walked halfway to work in the snow. I then realized that it's Sunday. I also forgot my keys. FML

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By thoughtcrimeno1 - United States

Today, I helped an elderly lady unscrew the cooling tank's cap from her smoking car. My reward? A scalding shower of toxic, pungent antifreeze that erupted moments after removing said cap. She didn't even thank me. FML

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By lessimportantthanatable - United States - Northfield

Today, I learned that the new granite countertop in my parents' house cost $12,000. Coincidentally, this is also the amount of money I would have needed to go to the college of my dreams instead of the cheaper school I currently attend. FML

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By Vercsi - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

One of those people

Today, my attention-seeking, insanely thick co-worker explained that due to her new diet she can't eat bread. She "can eat pizza" though. When we pointed out that they’re pretty much made of the same ingredients, she wouldn’t believe us. I sit right behind this idiot every day. FML

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Top comments

By DooleyFTW | 17

#5489857 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

Unclog the toilet with a hairbrush?

By SS99_fml | 20

#5489856 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

Well who used up the other 8 lives?

COMMENTS

By SS99_fml | 20

#5489856 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

Well who used up the other 8 lives?

IAmJad | 18

#5489932 - Monday 13 May 2013 14:00

Ba dum tsssss

ilovedinosawers | 17

#5490636 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 1:58

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

By DooleyFTW | 17

#5489857 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

Unclog the toilet with a hairbrush?

jakeydudey | 13

#5489999 - Monday 13 May 2013 15:59

69 thumbs up...

iworryaboutyou | 4

#5490072 - Monday 13 May 2013 17:53

OMG HAHAHHAHA YOU SAW THAT TOO?

spazz666 | 18

#5490132 - Monday 13 May 2013 19:50

I've seen past FML references but I think this is the first time I've ever seen a reference to and FML that was posted AFTER the one being commented on...

By DocBastard | 38

#5489858 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:32

I hope it was either a very small cat or a very big toilet.

slickchrome | 11

#5489898 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:05

It doesn't matter it's already dead

kryxen | 14

#5490033 - Monday 13 May 2013 16:39

When I first read it, I thought the cat died from the kid trying to flush it. I was very confused how the kid managed to do that to a live cat.

Olympiakos10 | 15

#5490380 - Monday 13 May 2013 23:18

Or thousands of gallons pushing against the cat as it is stuck until it explodes through pipes into the watery abyss that is fish heaven. Too dark?

groovycrazyjoe | 18

#5490452 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 0:05

making me mad because how she didn't hear the cat screaming? she deserved it not the cat

JamiesMom | 10

#5490459 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 0:15

Our cat was already dead when my son tried to flush him. Dead Cats don't scream.

groovycrazyjoe | 18

#5490538 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 1:17

so what a dead pussy laying around the house. I just don't understand

JamiesMom | 10

#5490558 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 1:29

He was in a shoe box on the counter. My husband went to get a shovel so we could bury him.

bamagrl410 | 31

#5490858 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 5:28

This is the first FML in a long time that actually made me laugh out loud, and after reading these comments I wasn't able to contain it anymore.

Jessj958 | 19

#5490938 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 6:55

66, are you dumb?! Reading and comprehension is a 1st grade skill, practice sometime.

gotaplanstan | 28

#5491329 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 15:19

Inb4jamieneedstherapy20yearsfromnow

ohjoy15 | 33

#5491346 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 15:53

@#36 I'm thinking maybe it was a kitten. A full grown cat would have jumped out of the toilet and run away.

groovycrazyjoe | 18

#5494865 - Thursday 16 May 2013 23:02

@81 no I am not dumb are you because clearly her fml left out some information

BirdieCurls | 25

#5845837 - Saturday 1 February 2014 19:23

@86 and 96. IT WAS ALREADY DEAD. Reread the FML before commenting, please.

By CammyGal | 26

#5489860 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:33

Poor kitty... :/ R.I.P. and hopefully you'll teach your son what to do when bigger animals die. The toilet is not a graveyard (except for fishies).

ShyAnn29 | 14

#5489888 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:59

Where does it say a son?

ShyAnn29 | 14

#5489891 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:01

This app is acting weird

death943 | 10

#5489928 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:46

"All drains lead to ocean" *cough*Nemo*cough*

CammyGal | 26

#5490088 - Monday 13 May 2013 18:31

It said "my son" at first but was changed to "my five year old".

DDCA | 24

#5494207 - Thursday 16 May 2013 13:04

I think #41 needs to lay off the catnip.

By dinosxxrawr | 22

#5489861 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:35

hopefully the toilet didn't use up the rest of the kitty's lives.

ShyAnn29 | 14

#5489895 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:02

It said the kitty died

ShyAnn29 | 14

#5493646 - Thursday 16 May 2013 0:57

What!? I don't understand this comment, I mean, of course it used up the cats lives, it died before the kid tried to flush it.

By Ambient25 | 24

#5489863 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:35

So...are you sure the cat died before that?

JamiesMom | 10

#5490374 - Monday 13 May 2013 23:12

He was dead. My husband had went out to buy a new shovel so we could bury him and left him in a shoe box on the counter when my son saw our dead cat inside the shoe box and decided to try and flush him like a fish :(

By ozpunker | 20

#5489869 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:44

At least his girlfriend didn't try to unclog it with your hairbrush.

By samreimer | 7

#5489872 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:47

Sorry for your loss OP. Years of caring for and loving that cat, all down the drain.

By xALEXx_fml | 15

#5489878 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:51

R.I.P toilet kitty ;)

By bReLiNg | 18

#5489882 - Monday 13 May 2013 12:54

How did the kid get a hold of the body? Unless- the cat was still alive when the flushing occurred....

SlapAndTickle | 20

#5489899 - Monday 13 May 2013 13:07

Perhaps the cat died before the parents knew about it and the son found it. Wow, does everyone overlook the simple things or is this only on FML?

mbuck87 | 19

#5489949 - Monday 13 May 2013 14:45

Then how did the parents know the cat was already dead?

ballpython | 15

#5490045 - Monday 13 May 2013 16:53

Usually live cats usually don't allow themselves to be put into toilets, or any body of water for that matter. Sorry for your loss OP.

JamiesMom | 10

#5490377 - Monday 13 May 2013 23:14

My husband had left him in a shoebox on the counter while he went to buy a new shovel(We had loaned it to a neighbor who moved away before he could give it back)