By me - 21/03/2013 10:25 - United Kingdom - Chichester

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 933
You deserved it 6 619

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Why are you carrying on with the relationship, taking it to the next level of meeting the family, if you can easily go on for an hour questioning your sexuality? It sounds like you're leading the guy on until you figure yourself out. Maybe stop seeing him, but keep seeing his mom.

maybe if you guys are that serious you should be able to talk to your boyfriend about it too


Don't worry she can't handle the truth

What does Paul Pierce have to do with any of this?

Handle what? The boyfriend probably can't handle it, but if the mother tells him that would be illegal. Clearly there is now a ton of tension between the mother and the girlfriend and it affects both of them. This is an unbelievably horrible start. Not to mention that the girlfriend might actually be gay, but that would make the whole thing moot. But now she has to find a new therapist, of course, since a therapist must be neutral and unbiased which the mother now clearly isn't. All in all her life is ******, a lot more than most FMLs.

imagineapc 11

Her life is not ******. She needs to make a decision whether to keep seeing her boyfriend or keep seeing her therapist. If she were to break off the relationship with the boyfriend, there should be no problem continuing to see her therapist. I also don't see anything wrong with dating someone while you are figuring yourself out. I know several gay men and gay women who dated both sexes before they realized "YUP I'm gay!"

Inediblepeaches 15

The boyfriend's mother is her therapist. OP is ****** either way, unless she really isn't gay.

The truth! You can't handle the truth! Sorry, I couldn't resist the oppurtunity. I also thought of Kevin Bacon at the time...hmmm bacon.

#56- She can't continue seeing her therapist. This has surpassed the level of conflict of interest. If her therapist were to continue to see her it would be considered unethical and she would probably lose her license to practice. They're pretty strict when it comes to mental health practices.

Looking back on it, I realise how stupid my previous comment was and I apologise completely. Although OP maybe you should take some time out, find a new therapist and find yourself first I have often doubted my sexuality and have found it difficult but you will find yourself eventually, there is no doubt about that.

Why are you carrying on with the relationship, taking it to the next level of meeting the family, if you can easily go on for an hour questioning your sexuality? It sounds like you're leading the guy on until you figure yourself out. Maybe stop seeing him, but keep seeing his mom.

Have you seen society's general take on sexuality? There's the fact that a lot of it seems to rest on gender. Then there's the fact that you 'can' only be attracted to one gender, and anything else is seen as just weird. Then there's stuff like kink which isn't universally approved of. I mean, it could be embarressing but it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the relationship. It's just that now boyfriend's mum knows that "I love my boyfriend but I may be attracted to girls but I'm not sure" or "I want my boyfriend to spank me, is that wrong?" or "I want to try polyamory but it scares me" or something.

jem970 19

Ok 17 look at it this way. They continue on and OP continues to question herself but stays in the relationship. He ends up wanting to marry her and proposes and she says no and leaves him because she realizes that she is not attracted to men (which is questioning sexuality, not if you like kink)

I think if that were the case, OP would have said 'because I think I might want to see other people' or 'I haven't told them about my unconventional fetish.'

Most cases people get screwed over when one person decides he/she likes the same gender when he/she's in a committed relationship.

mrkp 14

It's completely possible she's trying to figure out if she's bi-sexual or not. Maybe she still really likes the guy, but still finds herself attracted to girls every now and then, and until she's completely sure about it she doesn't want to freak out this person she obviously cares for over something that could be nothing.

jem970 19

Thats completely possible 41 but is it fair to her boyfriend? Leading him on while she isnt even really sure she is attracted to women more than men is unfair to him.

janelly16 7

She's not leading him on. Like try said she might just be confused that she is bi-sexual. Last time I checked it wasn't illegal for bi-sexuals to date one gender and still have an attraction to the other.

jem970 19

Ok the FML said that she IS, no maybe about it. So if she realizes one day that she just likes women where does that leave her bf? There is nothing wrong with bi's. But she doesnt know where she leans and thats why she should break it off until she knows for sure.

jem970 19

And 55 dont put words on my mouth. I never said there was anything wrong with it. So shut up. All im saying is that she needs to be straight up with her bf instead of leading him on until she figures out which sex she prefers.

Questioning her sexuality may be nothing more than thinking she is bisexual. If that is the case then there would be no need to dump her boyfriend, if she thinks she may be a lesbian though then that is a completely different case and she should probably talk to her boyfriend and figure it out.

Would you enjoy finding out that someone you've been in a relationship with has been questioning whether or not they're bi the whole time? I think I would be pretty upset that they thought it was appropriate to keep me in the dark on this type of situation.

Anai08 17

#2- For some people, meeting the parents is not such a huge milestone. I met my current boyfriend of four year's mother on day two of us dating. I've alway found it a little strange actually that people wait until they deem themselves to be "serious". Parents are a big part of someone's life, and it seems unnatural to make a big production out of meeting them. Like, the whole thing seems less genuine. But that's just me speaking from my own personal experience.

Fooberry 9

104, many people who aren't related have the same last name. Maybe she thought it was a coincidence or didn't even think about it. OP, looks like it's time to get a new therapist.

To be fair, there are two people involved here who would be able to give advice/help make a decision on whether or not she should continue the relationship... The person herself and her therapist... I wonder if she encouraged her to keep the dating going, I imagine she would of told the therapist about being in the relationship with a boy lol.

Just because you're confused about your sexuality doesn't mean you're leading someone on. And it also doesn't mean that it'll affect the relationship negatively. My boyfriend had been struggling with his sexuality and didn't tell me he might be bi until about 8 months together, but him telling me only strengthened our relationship.

Ya first comment and vote lol ur life sucks bra

You will do well in the FML community... Bra...

Llamacod 11

At least your boyfriends mom knows you.

Success4444 12

At least the boyfriend's mom has a confidentiality clause which prevents her from telling your boyfriend.

there are doctors, nurses, police officers and firefighters that all have confidentiality, but still tell their family what happened that day at work without mentioning names. he might figure it out anyway if the gf told him she had a therapist appt and his mom came home and told him about a patient she had..

Success4444 12

It is perfectly acceptable for the girlfriend to tell him. If he hears anything at all from the mom that allows him to out two and two together, then the mom is the only one at fault. The girlfriend then has all sports of laws backing her up, and the mom can lose her license. She should, in my opinion. It would be like the mom going up to a random person on the street and saying "I had a patient today that is concerned about her sexuality. The guy she is dating doesn't know, and I think it is a recipe for destruction." Because that stranger doesn't know her, wouldn't they think about it a little bit harder, possibly figuring it out? My point is, if she doesn't tell everyone involved in her patients' lives about their condition, she has no right to tell her son anything! (phew...)

Everyone gets confused! I hope she holds on to her professionalism. At the same time, what are the odds!?!

I'm not really sure that's true at all. I've never been confused.

Must be a pretty common last name for the girlfriend not to figure out her therapist and boyfriend were related...

He's never mentioned his parents occupations? You didn't see a connection in their shared last names? Though, there I can see where there might not be one, since people keep their maiden names for professional reasons. Either way, YDI OP.

If they have the same name, she deserves it. If they don't have the same name, she deserves it. Uh...what!?

RedPillSucks 31

You mean she should have known because her therapist is Dr. Sandra Jones and she dating Robert Jones???

JoyM 6

You are such a ******* idiot!

Well, if the boyfriend has a common name, she might not make the connection. Or maybe the mother has a different last name from her son (it's not that uncommon). That said, OP, if you are questioning your attraction to the guy, you really need to tell him. As someone else pointed out, you could be bisexual and more attracted to men than women. And if you are going to keep seeing him, you'll need to find another therapist.

I'm saying with both him mentioning the parents occupation AND his last name.

maybe if you guys are that serious you should be able to talk to your boyfriend about it too

Jessj958 19

Agree with #7. Being able to share things with your partner is a big part of a relationship. I hope that you get things figured out OP! Not only for you, but for your boyfriend too. It's important to be honest and up front with him, rather than stringing him along. Good luck!!

Sounds like a good way for her to get you away from her son. If she starts encouraging you to go down on your best friend, you know something smells fishy about this.

countryrose92 23

I think something probably would smell fishy if she were to go down on her best friend. Just sayin, ;)

Why'd you think I made that choice of words? ;)

28 you must be new here, not knowing pleo is like 95% puns and wordplay

JDCH_99 10

Maybe you're bi. Maybe he's okay with that. Awkward about the mom, though.

You just met her and she already has dirt on you, not good OP