Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML
Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML
Today, I came to the conclusion I have three kids instead of two, after having to force my husband to take a shower. It's been a week. FML
Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML
Today, I woke up to my step-mother taking a shower in my bathroom. Of course, this would be fine, if my bathroom wasn't connected to my room and closet, or that I live in an apartment in their back yard, built before she moved in. FML
Today, while watching TV in my dorm, I clearly heard my roommate yell to someone proudly, "I've only taken a shower 4 or 5 times since I've been here." He's been my roommate for four months. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I actually had to have a discussion with my boyfriend about why he should shower more than once a week. FML
Today, I realized my morbidly obese, sweaty sibling is the source of a strange waft I've been smelling when I get home. He'll only shower once a week, so the apartment and furniture smell like sweat and sometimes poo, especially on hot days. I didn't notice until I went outside and stepped back in to follow my nose. FML
Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML
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Top comments
the17doctor 12
at least you dont have to worry about him hogging the shower.
drawmesunshine 17
The living room is looking pretty darn inviting, eh?
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Comments (125)
GypsyRover 0
Dump soapy water on him when he is sleeping. Listen people,if u smell like a foot because you don't shower,you are a pathetic looser in my book. PATHETIC!!!
Spazz420 7
Gross in high school my step brother was so gross and dirty the color on his sheets bled together. And he used to shit himself so I COMPLETELY understand
Just_A_Panda 9
I think you should throw a waterballoons filled with soap and water and throw it at your stepbrother. It'll give him a sign that he stinks, right?
brick_man33 14
sounds like his showers, might be golden showers...
r0ckoman 0
that's ******* disgusting
Nakamurajap09231 0
well you could always make the situation fun and build a bunk bed with your stepbrother.
akito11 5
Is ur step bro, id just tell him to get his @$$ in the shower or I'd tell my parents that we aren't sharing a room... Im gettin pissed at him just seeing what you typed, I'm not a germophobe or how ever you spell it, but that's ridiculous, like I have my days when I'm bummy, but the next day I take two.. One early and one later
MissMcFly 6
spray him with fabreeze once and a while when he is sleeping or walks in the room, thats what I do to people lol
hewro_failure 11
That's so nasty why is it so hard for people to keep up on their hygiene.
beebananaz88 0
Spray him with holy water.