By Anonymous - 22/6/2020 17:01

OK sweaty, time for a bath

Today, I realized my morbidly obese, sweaty sibling is the source of a strange waft I've been smelling when I get home. He'll only shower once a week, so the apartment and furniture smell like sweat and sometimes poo, especially on hot days. I didn't notice until I went outside and stepped back in to follow my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1773

You deserved it

122

Tweet

Share

Proactive

FML every way you look at it

Rock and a hard place

By 12MONTHLEASE - United States

Today, my new upstairs neighbors moved in. Within ten minutes of getting in the door they were screaming and arguing about everything, practically handing out death threats to each other. I then heard them having even louder makeup sex for about three hours afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24547

You deserved it

1737

Tweet

Share

By Britishboy1991

Pay up

Today, I should be working on my big project for work due next week. Instead, I'm walking in and out of the block to get all my things from my flat. My roommate lied about paying the rent for months now and has actually spending all the money on lotto tickets. And no, he didn't win anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9483

You deserved it

754

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks

143166

You deserved it

8144

Tweet

Share

By Lookalike - United States - Nitro

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56363

You deserved it

5495

Tweet

Share

By badwolf - United States

Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23626

You deserved it

4124

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/1/2021 04:58

Impressive

Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

600

You deserved it

172

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/5/2020 20:00

The grudge

Today, I was told by a former coworker that my former boss still talks about me being lazy, ever since the time I refused to do a few things on third shift when there was me and 2 other people working. I haven't worked there in 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1309

You deserved it

200

Tweet

Share

By Numbass123 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45362

You deserved it

11616

Tweet

Share

By DaddyZ - United States

Today, my youngest son thought that RedBull actually gave him wings. What it actually gave him was a trip to the ER and 7 stitches. It also gave me a meeting with social services. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47106

You deserved it

8238

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48871

You deserved it

3427

Tweet

Share

By mymomsstupid - United States

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45081

You deserved it

3729

Tweet

Share

By ill - Canada

Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that "my school was too expensive and he couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii, apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43133

You deserved it

3520

Tweet

Share

By Squinty6 - Canada

Today, my boss lectured me on the evils of alcohol and how it was 'prohibited' during the 1980s. I said nothing because he hates being corrected. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29874

You deserved it

3989

Tweet

Share

By Ihatepants - United States - Wrightsville

Today, I had a full day of work, a social event, and a doctor's appointment. My son looked at me when I got home and said, "Are your pants on backwards?" Yes, yes they were. All day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14846

You deserved it

2206

Tweet

Share

By Laurel - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks

50778

You deserved it

9038

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1528

You deserved it

142

Tweet

Share

By hackshack - Brazil - Porto Alegre

Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25389

You deserved it

3923

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - South Salem

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22999

You deserved it

9545

Tweet

Share

By Sorry babe - 29/11/2020 08:02 - United States - Hesperia

Lightweight

Today, I went out for drinks for the first since I stopped breastfeeding. I underestimated how low my tolerance had become and how strong the drinks were. My husband was stopped by two bouncers while trying to carry me to the car. They thought he'd drugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

816

You deserved it

193

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, after going to the beach with my guyfriend, I thought I looked pretty good infront of him in a bikini. Later he whispered in my ear, "You have a lot of hairs sticking out of your bottom". FML

I agree, your life sucks

22860

You deserved it

45761

Tweet

Share

By nooneatall - France

Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13887

You deserved it

20097

Tweet

Share

By tessykins - United States

Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37821

You deserved it

3266

Tweet

Share

By AnonymousQuagga - United States - Flower Mound

Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38431

You deserved it

16265

Tweet

Share

By deweyd8855 - United States

Today, I moved back home after unsuccessfully trying to find work in Florida, despite living there for nine months. About 45 minutes into my 18-hour drive home, a TV station called me to offer me a job interview. I applied for that job over three months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27093

You deserved it

2430

Tweet

Share

By ohmydog - United States

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has a chipped tooth is because his teeth hit another girl's teeth while kissing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32827

You deserved it

3636

Tweet

Share

By Notre_Dame_714 - United States

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33374

You deserved it

4412

Tweet

Share

By Worstjob - United States

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39241

You deserved it

4432

Tweet

Share

By Samantha K - 19/10/2020 20:08

Break time

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1173

You deserved it

134

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Higginsville

Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5163

You deserved it

2574

Tweet

Share

By lala - United States

Red circle gang

Today, my boyfriend and I were flipping through magazines and got on the topic of how airbrushed the girls were. My boyfriend then pointed out all of the flaws on my body that would need to be airbrushed away if I was in a magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30591

You deserved it

4705

Tweet

Share

By pussyface96 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9576

You deserved it

44391

Tweet

Share

By Bad Cat

Today, I saw my cat playing in the other room. Fascinated, I watched him for a few minutes before I realized he was playing with one of my daughter's fish. Well, what was left of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1672

You deserved it

245

Tweet

Share

By AstonBrown - United States - Cleveland

Today, a strong storm knocked the power out at our office. I was dismissed five hours early, had my desk locked up and was walking toward the doors to leave when the power came back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12813

You deserved it

1001

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took a major test, worth half my grade, not realizing that there were questions on the back of the sheet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23801

You deserved it

38519

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Engadine

Today, some kid decided to pee in the kids' play area at work. Because I was the shortest employee working at the time, I got to climb through the area to mop it up, while all the kids pointed and laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23325

You deserved it

1820

Tweet

Share

By Tired - United States

Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41534

You deserved it

3743

Tweet

Share

By Emily - Australia

Today, I got home to three boys riding bikes out in front of my house, smiling at me. I instantly thought they were checking me out, so I smiled sweetly at them. Turns out they were flaunting the fact that they just stole all 3 of our bikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34575

You deserved it

12216

Tweet

Share

By ohray - Turkey - Kibris

Today, I popped into the shower hoping to come out all warm and clean. Something was very wrong with the pipes, and I came out smelling like sewage instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31408

You deserved it

3100

Tweet

Share

By Chihuahuanope - United States - Lincoln

An Expensive Snack

Today, my girlfriend's 2lb chihuahua ate 500 dollars worth of textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6825

You deserved it

748

Tweet

Share

By Droolgirl - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20145

You deserved it

46384

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By RichardPencil | 30

#7915702 - Monday 22 June 2020 17:40

That's great detective work, Sherlock!

Maybe the local SeaWorld has some tank space to house a dirty whale.

By jfigley | 5

#7915781 - Monday 22 June 2020 22:17

Haha wow.... got an idea. Constantly squirt water from a spray bottle, and when they complain its not fair that you keep doing that....complain back saying you will keep doing it until he takes a shower daily. No reason you should have to deal with that....

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 30

#7915702 - Monday 22 June 2020 17:40

That's great detective work, Sherlock!

Maybe the local SeaWorld has some tank space to house a dirty whale.

By jfigley | 5

#7915781 - Monday 22 June 2020 22:17

Haha wow.... got an idea. Constantly squirt water from a spray bottle, and when they complain its not fair that you keep doing that....complain back saying you will keep doing it until he takes a shower daily. No reason you should have to deal with that....

By AmbrosiaFan | 18

#7915810 - Monday 22 June 2020 23:39

How old are you both? Who is all in the apartment?

Personally if he doesn't start showering daily, dump soapy water on him when he's on the toilet.

By MaleficusTheUnsung | 13

#7916073 - Wednesday 24 June 2020 7:18

U need to take a shower once a month to assert dominance