Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML
Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML
Today, I came to the conclusion I have three kids instead of two, after having to force my husband to take a shower. It's been a week. FML
Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML
Today, I woke up to my step-mother taking a shower in my bathroom. Of course, this would be fine, if my bathroom wasn't connected to my room and closet, or that I live in an apartment in their back yard, built before she moved in. FML
Today, while watching TV in my dorm, I clearly heard my roommate yell to someone proudly, "I've only taken a shower 4 or 5 times since I've been here." He's been my roommate for four months. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I actually had to have a discussion with my boyfriend about why he should shower more than once a week. FML
Today, I realized my morbidly obese, sweaty sibling is the source of a strange waft I've been smelling when I get home. He'll only shower once a week, so the apartment and furniture smell like sweat and sometimes poo, especially on hot days. I didn't notice until I went outside and stepped back in to follow my nose. FML
Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML
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Top comments
the17doctor 12
at least you dont have to worry about him hogging the shower.
drawmesunshine 17
The living room is looking pretty darn inviting, eh?
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Comments (125)
gareth22 0
I had the same problem when I was 15 the worst part wasn't my steep brothers smell it was activities he got up to every night when he thought I was asleep
Dagnorus 0
Spray his ass with lysol and febreeze every time he enters the room and he'll get the hint.
bingababe 16
I hope you don't own a drum set.....!!
ack62 2
You shower too much, that's the problem.
Okayitwasme 0
Go live with your other parent. Or make the step brother uncomfortable that he goes and lives with his other parent. I'm thinking the guy is depressed. That is usually a sign.
xSorry_fml 10
There are so many other activities than showering. Like practicing karate in the garage.
Jewelie737 0
Sorry OP, sounds like my sister. You'll get used to it... Or really good at avoiding him.
ImSoEffedUp 10
At least u won't have to worry about running out of hot water WHEN u take a shower....
kareltje 17
Would be good if you're a scientist. I bet there's a whole lot of interesting organisms to be found on him ;)
grebulon123 0
YDI. Make sure you shower twice a day.