Today, I discovered my mother went into the local pub where I...

By Anonymous - 6/6/2011 13:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered my mother went into the local pub where I work part time, got very drunk, and flashed her boobs at everyone. I found out when a picture was posted on Facebook. FML

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Intimacy

Fear factor

Live dumping

Business savvy

By Anonymous - 8/2/2015 22:24 - United States - Southlake

Today, my mother called me, telling me how disappointed she was at how I let my room "become such a pigsty." I haven't lived there in three years. FML

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By uofpalum - 19/3/2009 01:41 - United States

Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/9/2016 02:55 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that my 12 yr old daughter had to get in the driver's seat to order from the drive-thru. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/5/2013 16:30 - Saudi Arabia - Jiddah

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

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By Buggy - 12/12/2017 18:30 - United States - Atmore

Today, my brother robbed someone. The victim spoke with me and said that if his $1500 was paid back, he wouldn’t press charges. After I gave him the money, I questioned my brother until he admitted doing it. He only took $200. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/9/2012 14:23 - Canada

Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML

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By Bob - 14/4/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I was working at a local restaurant when another server's table called me over to ask if I've "ever killed anybody". They informed me I looked like a serial killer. I informed them, of course, that I have never killed anybody. Another customer claimed I scared her child. I was fired. FML

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By Lola - 26/12/2008 06:32 - France

Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML

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By Anonymous - 6/10/2015 19:58 - United States - Macomb

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

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By scruffy - 10/5/2011 17:24 - United States

Today, I woke up late for a job interview. I hadn't shaved in six days, but figuring I could do so en route, I grabbed my electric razor and ran for the bus. While shaving, the razor's battery died midway through, leaving me to attend the job interview with a Miami Vice scruff on half my face. FML

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By dontfencemein - 22/7/2011 04:25 - United States

Today, I paid $5000 for a new fence in my backyard for my dogs. My dog escaped three hours after the contractor finished the fence. FML

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By sunil - 13/6/2014 22:53 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

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By jasmine - 23/8/2019 04:00

Today, I found out the hard way, that yes, a condom can break. Also, that sometimes when it does, your boyfriend won't say anything until you start having morning sickness. FML

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By Ihatemyjob - 18/3/2013 03:14 - United States - Vermilion

Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML

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By FML - 24/12/2011 01:32 - Sweden

Today, after having recently moved 300 miles to be with my boyfriend of 2 years, I have to celebrate Christmas alone. He never thought our relationship important enough to tell his family about me, and doesn't want it to be "awkward." FML

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By x_udontknowme_x - 5/1/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, while I was out of the office, I'd left my phone charging inside. My boss informed me that since I am clearly running up her electricity bill, it will be deducted out of my already nearly non existent paycheck. FML

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By fappy dog - 23/1/2014 21:06 - United States - Granite City

Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

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By maribel - 4/6/2011 11:27 - United States

Today, I got my beautiful daughter ready to be a flower girl for the first time. A flower girl in the wedding of her father, my ex-husband, and the woman he cheated on me with. FML

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By Tyguy3000 - 19/6/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, I asked a woman to take a picture of me and my girlfriend kissing on the beach. When I looked up, the woman and my phone were gone. FML

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By DefinitelyNotMyMeds - 22/2/2019 20:00 - Canada

Today, just like everyday, I opened my med box, took out a blister pack and took one of the pills before putting the pack back in the box. Today, not like everyday, I had diarrhea. Turns out one of the packs was laxatives put in my med box by my boyfriend because they looked the same as my meds. FML

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By Cerezo - 22/11/2009 15:39 - Guatemala

Today, as I woke up early to do my physics homework, I heard my parents talk about how big a disappointment I am for them. They discussed how stupid, immature and how big a burden I was. They knew I was listening. FML

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By lonestar - 3/2/2010 13:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend accused me of deleting my texts from my phone because I'm afraid of him finding out about another man in my life. Truth is, I don't have a life outside of him. FML

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By FBI1236 - 7/7/2019 20:00 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML

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By crash and burn - 1/12/2016 09:41 - United States

Today, I moved states to be with my soulmate in our new condo. It was also the day I took out a neighbor's balcony with my U-Haul. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/1/2012 17:57 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML

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By paris78 - 18/10/2009 00:04 - Canada

Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML

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By Mika_Ookami - 21/2/2010 17:54 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/10/2012 02:49 - Canada - Regina

Today, after being totally in love with a guy since middle school, I finally had enough self confidence to go and talk to him. Turns out he's boring as fuck. I obsessed over this guy for nearly 4 years. FML

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By bewitched and bothered - 2/2/2009 13:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went into great detail over the Tiffany's jewelry he painstakingly selected for his previous girlfriends on their birthday. I got hand towels. In powder blue. From Target. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/4/2012 09:43 - Canada

Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck. Someone kneed me in the butt, I fell face first and broke my glasses. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/7/2014 01:27 - United States - Sandston

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/8/2014 00:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

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By ambrosia - 16/8/2019 00:01

Today, I saw my boyfriend cutting the crusts off his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He’s 24. FML

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By Scared - 5/6/2012 00:54 - United States - Arlington

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

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By anon - 25/9/2015 04:43 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML

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By SpooningLeadstoForking - 29/6/2017 00:00

Fork that

Today, during my second day on the job, I ate pasta with a pen in the backroom. My old job provided plasticware, and it never occurred to me to pack a fork. FML

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By FastFoodWaiter - 3/9/2012 23:43 - United States - Saukville

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

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By william - 22/1/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

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By Angrily Paranoid - 6/10/2013 05:29 - United States - Seattle

Today, my paranoia got so bad that I had to physically restrain myself from aggressively confronting the kid walking behind me on the sidewalk. FML

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By Where is the faith in Humanity - 7/11/2013 23:08 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

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Top comments

By heyimjennyFML | 5

#2631569 - Monday 6 June 2011 18:48

NEVER tell your mother where you work.

By DudeImBetter | 0

#2632039 - Monday 6 June 2011 19:59

What's your mothers Facebook name? I need it for reference.

Comments

By CryMoreFMLs | 14

#2631555 - Monday 6 June 2011 18:46

.... I think I can safely call for pics or it's fake.

By heyimjennyFML | 5

#2631569 - Monday 6 June 2011 18:48

NEVER tell your mother where you work.

L3Paparazzo | 7

#2631748 - Monday 6 June 2011 19:09

Your mom is a party animal ! :P

fmart | 0

#2631803 - Monday 6 June 2011 19:20

i hope your a party aninal

dreamering | 16

#2631840 - Monday 6 June 2011 19:28

25, stop drinking tiger's blood.

DudeImBetter | 0

#2632039 - Monday 6 June 2011 19:59

What's your mothers Facebook name? I need it for reference.

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#2632374 - Monday 6 June 2011 20:48

MILF

bubble25_fml | 5

#2632497 - Monday 6 June 2011 21:13

I would sooo love to be her son!!

nyrangers1022 | 6

#2632677 - Monday 6 June 2011 21:49

can i see??

imacreeper | 3

#2632769 - Monday 6 June 2011 22:01

Deny, deny, deny.

BagleHead | 6

#2632910 - Monday 6 June 2011 22:25

Pics or it didn't happen

BagleHead | 6

#2632950 - Monday 6 June 2011 22:34

I need to see the proof of the event, in photographic form, or else the FML is fake, and didn't happen.

BeastNerd | 3

#2633316 - Monday 6 June 2011 23:28

Facebook doesn't allow those kind of pictures..

btnhdude | 0

#2634097 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 1:31

53,

FB allows pics,

of me kicking you,

in the nuts.

poohforMVP | 4

#2635826 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 7:39

damn girl Ur fine

By BShady96 | 0

#2631576 - Monday 6 June 2011 18:48

at least you have a good looking husband?

phatdaddy62 | 23

#2631660 - Monday 6 June 2011 18:54

wrong fml

00SPRANGER00 | 0

#2632925 - Monday 6 June 2011 22:28

wrong fml dick

scofield1109 | 0

#2633020 - Monday 6 June 2011 22:53

I sense a new fml coming. today I commented on the wrong fml post, fml

By A7X_LoVeee | 10

#2631578 - Monday 6 June 2011 18:48

Classy mother. You must be so proud.

00SPRANGER00 | 0

#2631671 - Monday 6 June 2011 18:56

I know I would be (;

kingtz | 6

#2632030 - Monday 6 June 2011 19:58

She was probably just showing everyone how she used to feed you.

Marcelb | 17

#3987498 - Friday 3 February 2012 18:28

61, I don't see anyone asking for a pic of their mom, but a pic of OP's mom

By candys123 | 0

#2631582 - Monday 6 June 2011 18:48

your moms pretty scandalous!

By mb1616 | 0

#2631584 - Monday 6 June 2011 18:49

momma gots to have a life too !

By Stupend0us | 7

#2631608 - Monday 6 June 2011 18:50

Pics?

electricmaster | 0

#2633394 - Monday 6 June 2011 23:40

Pervert?

locacolloca | 0

#2633537 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 0:03

@54 no not a perv, just a guy

By phatdaddy62 | 23

#2631638 - Monday 6 June 2011 18:53

I love bewbs!

iloveyouchung | 0

#2639737 - Wednesday 8 June 2011 1:19

you perv.

By mycookiezz | 0

#2631645 - Monday 6 June 2011 18:53

Flash them your goodies and ask them to put your pic up next to hers! Follow her example DAMN IT!!! lol

Eggers | 2

#2631726 - Monday 6 June 2011 19:04

Gay. The comment I replied to was deleted by mods, and then my reply was moved here.

By Jake_2013 | 0

#2631677 - Monday 6 June 2011 18:57

OP should take notes.