Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I put my good shoes out the window and on the roof to dry out because they were sopping wet. When I went to check them later on, they were still wet. And soaked in bird poop. FML
Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML
Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML
Today, I was enjoying my dinner by my patio window when I spotted a cat roaming through my backyard. As I observed it explore my yard, I also watched as it climbed onto, then took a piss on the freshly clean clothes I had left to dry. FML
Today, a bird shit on my jacket whilst smoking, I cleaned it and went back outside, and got shit on again. FML
Today, I washed my clothes in the shared laundry room. All my clothes came out smelling like smoke. FML
Today, I did laundry for the first time in weeks. Feeling productive, I dumped everything in, including what I thought was my pile of towels. Turns out, I washed (and shrunk) my roommate’s $200 wool sweater. She found out when I proudly showed her how “clean” everything looked. FML
Today, I put all my clothes into two piles. One pile had clothes I usually wear, the other clothes I wanted to donate. When I was done, I put the piles into two jumbo trash bags. I came back a bit later and they both were gone. My mom donated both bags. I have no clothes. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
katties 27
I have never thought about this before, but I have hung my clothes outside for years, and birds have actually never pooped on them :/ I'm I the only one?
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Please leave now.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
Mitch_Connor 11
Respond by dumping nuclear waste into your local park, teach Mother Nature to **** with you.
cyanidesandwich 21
This is nothing a shotgun and a few shells can't correct...
CheeseHater 23
That's what you get for being a climate fag. Is what I would say if I was an idiot. But I don't really skip the dryer because of the envoironment, I do it because the dryer usually ***** the clothes up.
Shadown_fml 12
Mother Nature works in mysterious ways...
aardvarkish 17
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Start packing heat.
josephmarm 0
You deserved it for not taking advantage of modern technology.
Sillabub 15
Is your line under a tree? That'd explain it.
enzo875 4
Thats what u get hippie lol jk
WonkeyDonkey 10
I did the same but had my feral neighbours smoke it out with a fire :/
WonkeyDonkey 10
*smoked