Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I put my good shoes out the window and on the roof to dry out because they were sopping wet. When I went to check them later on, they were still wet. And soaked in bird poop. FML
Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML
Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML
Today, I was enjoying my dinner by my patio window when I spotted a cat roaming through my backyard. As I observed it explore my yard, I also watched as it climbed onto, then took a piss on the freshly clean clothes I had left to dry. FML
Today, a bird shit on my jacket whilst smoking, I cleaned it and went back outside, and got shit on again. FML
Today, I washed my clothes in the shared laundry room. All my clothes came out smelling like smoke. FML
Today, I did laundry for the first time in weeks. Feeling productive, I dumped everything in, including what I thought was my pile of towels. Turns out, I washed (and shrunk) my roommate’s $200 wool sweater. She found out when I proudly showed her how “clean” everything looked. FML
Today, I put all my clothes into two piles. One pile had clothes I usually wear, the other clothes I wanted to donate. When I was done, I put the piles into two jumbo trash bags. I came back a bit later and they both were gone. My mom donated both bags. I have no clothes. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML
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Top comments
katties 27
I have never thought about this before, but I have hung my clothes outside for years, and birds have actually never pooped on them :/ I'm I the only one?
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Please leave now.
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Comments (76)
perdix 31
******* environment! You try to be friendly and it screws you over. You ought to start burning tires, releasing CFC's and ******** on the sidewalk -- see how the snobby-ass environment likes that!!
monnanon 14
karma does not affect you everyday in the sense that a bad idea will come back to bite you in the ass later in life it is strictly a payable on death arrangement. it is the sum total of how you live your life that matters not every little bit of it. i do think there is something that affects you during your life but it aint karma.
Ambient25 25
That's the point right there. Karma ISN'T based on a held idea or thought, karma is based on action. You're right, it is based on our sum total, but every little bit you do plays a major factor. Whether it's cheating on your partner or stealing from your work, it might not seem that big compared to a 90 year life span, but the magnitude of the offense plays a role. Not to mention people grow complacent, and while they may have gotten away with something once, it doesn't mean it left their mind. I still think karma has an every day effect, characterized by our everyday actions.
xcam1995 6
Don't stress man, they just needed some target practice.
fml0505 22
Birds are angry these days.
monnanon 14
ffs listen to what i am saying it belongs to the HINDU RELIGION it is not a term that this generation came up with to explain the subtle nuances of life. it already belongs to someone else, its rules have already been put in place by someone else. it is payable on death and it does not affect you throughout your life. end of disscusion.
ScenicSubterfuge 39
Cannot compute:3
ScenicSubterfuge 39
Pointless argument between you guys? I think yes:)
rs89 20
#40 what you've stated is correct. Nevertheless, we have derived the word to become the interpretation of "what goes around eventually comes around" or you harvest your own seeds. So, take a chill pill and humor us helpless souls...
skyeyez9 25
Clothes smell so nice after being dried outdoors. I can't do that in colorado because they would get dirt blown all over them. Its very dry here.