Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom is becoming a Wiccan, at least that’s the lie I told the neighbours when they demanded to know why my mom was smoking weed naked, waving charms around, and dancing amongst our trees. I actually have no idea what she was doing, and when she sobered up, she had no idea why she did it either. FML
Today, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my overly-religious parents that I'm an agnostic. They asked me why. As soon as I gave my reasons, my mom called me a "bigot" and hurled a bible at me, and it nailed me in the crotch. She then said, "That's what you get, non-believer." FML
Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Today, while having dinner with my girlfriend's very religious parents, her mother called me a heathen and said she'd convert me one day. She wasn't kidding. FML
Today, I came out of the closet, after years of fear and shame, thanks to my mom making me to go to a church full of fundies my whole life. In the end, I was in tears. All I got was a frown and a "So? Want a medal or something?" FML
Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML
Today, I finally decided to tell my parents I was a lesbian. They spent the next few hours reading me the bible. FML
Today, I’m devastated that I had to completely sever all ties with my mother. She’s a hyper religious zealot who’s gone as far as to threaten to kidnap my children in order to get them baptized after I refused to raise them in her archaic, abusive, oppressive cult-like “church”. FML
Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML
Today, I got a tattoo. My mom got upset and threw a bitch fit about how my body "is a temple and it belongs to God.” I told her, “My body, my choice.” She responded with, “Oh really? Well, my house, my choice who lives here. Pack your shit and get the fuck out.” I’m currently in my car with nowhere to go. FML
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Top comments
ZiggyMorrison 0
I sense a big theological debate in the works on this one any minute now oh and atleast she didnt throw holy water on you screaming THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU!!!!!!!!!
nonotme 0
#14: I judge all religion as bad for society, but there are some that are worse than others. #11: Google's your friend, but it's one of the Pagan religions, based around peace with nature and all living things. Its beliefs including never harming any living being except for food or self defense and the "Rule of Three" which states that if you hurt someone, you'll get hurt back three times as bad (and likewise, if you do good, good will come to you three times as strong). As far as religions go, it's probably one of the best out there.
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Comments (115)
porsche944 0
FIRST
tick_tock 0
I think it is really comical that people are like "Catholics suck, they are so intolerant" and then make fun of them. You make yourself sound so tolerant and accepting. Or I suppose you are only tolerant to religions that aren't Christianity. Got it. Furthermore, I'm a converted Catholic and I haven't met a single intolerant Catholic, although I'm sure there are some. However, that is the case in any religion. If you want to see a religion that is intolerant in its very nature why don't you look up the Westboro Baptist Church.
ZiggyMorrison 0
If your not being rebellous and actually looked into the religion and are being legit about it than dont mind what these ******* are saying it is in fact one of the most peaceful religions out there If you guys think the concept is stupid try actually reading about you dumb *****, there moral code is far superior and more logical to any catholics one everything is explaind
ammali 0
Agree with #15 and #38 And #43, actually.
ringles 0
You'll grow out of this phase and then look back and laugh: 'Wicca, what the hell was I thinking. God, I was an idiot!' Until then...Happy Pentagraming! Honestly though, nobody takes wiccan followers seriously.
awesomeperson 0
#38-wicca is a religion, not a fad and its been around since wayyy before christianity and people have been practicing it for thousands of years. the emo thing is an extremely off stereotype. and that really sucks. im sorry. dont let it get in your way
Syn_fml 0
"Wicca is a legit religion." Sure, the same way saaaay, Scientology is a legit religion. (as a side note, Firefox's spellcheck did NOT recognize "Wicca" or "Wiccan" but DID recognize Scientology, so according to those folk Scientology is more legit than Wicca).
iwasbored 0
#38 = win. As well as #33&34
Cilletron 0
Ohh, #42! You almost got it. Dont worry, there's always next time. =P
anamaia 5
As an agnostic who was raised Catholic, I know it really sucks when your parents don't accept your beliefs and try to get you to convert. And for everyone who's saying Wicca is stupid, please just shut up. It's not your place to judge anyone else's religion.