By Anonymous - 15/02/2010 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 423
You deserved it 4 506

Same thing different taste

Top comments

What a jerk! Sorry OP, hopefully you'll find someone who will appreciate you for yourself not sex :(

putting your faith in god has nothing to do withthe fact that he pumped n dumped her. iIt has everything to do with that guy is an ass hole


what a dyke suks ur first time wasn't any good

yup- that sucks! how would anyone see that coming? guys are assholes! you should be gay! then you'll be appreciated! ha

aDerangedStateOf 0

I hope I get used my first time, it'll be great...

what a dumb ass.... girls can't be gay they are lesbians -.-

wow the guy must be a fegal how is it u say a joke like that and he takes it to the heart by saying it's over and the sex was lousy some how I know guys would never complain about pussy unless it the size of a tunnel but come on it's pussy

what's sex? and why is there a wet spot on your bed? roof leaking?

mcgugs 0
Danielt104 6

Aww I wouldnt've dumped you. Oh, and not all guys are assholes.

superjosh 0

ha i lol at your fail. dont joke during or after sex ever. first rule. i blame you

Superjosh, I joke after sex all the time. My boyfriend and I always have. Guess we just have that bond.

sorry but he's serious too. he's just to nice to tell you.

iraqagainfuck 0

haha you desrve this dumbass it's called actually getting to know the person you are about to sleep with oh P.S. you just lost you virginity to a guy who dumped you afterwards hahahahaha

lol I love how she said "I decided to have sex" it's never the guys choice it's when ever she wants to

JustinKingr 0
delefranceman 0

it will be great being used for your first time?

hey don't throw us all in the same boat there are good guys out there

I can't believe anyone would marry you when you clearly have no respect for women.

drilher244 0

damn what a queer, he got his rocks off so what was disappointing? what an idiot!!

Optimism win? Now you don't have to sleep in the wet spot. Have animal sex with his mates so they will brag to him that you're the best.

that's why I am careful with my guys;)...sorta

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musicalibrary 4

But if he was truly *the one*, I don't believe he would dump her just because she was bad in bed.

I guess that's the best way to trap 'em if you suck...

pinkpolsih 0
Hoozen 0

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bbyboo waiting till marrage? you gotta test drive a car before you buy it!

Kris, you're an asshole. if someone wants to wait to have sex, let them. It's not a big deal. Also, she isn't fat. It's people like you that are causing so many eating disorders in America. Grow up.

redwarrior 0

With all due respect, helo2, you don't have to test drive the car if you're buying it for the engine.

but unless you know what the engine is like you gotta test it

Okay... I see where you may have misinterpreted that. I was trying to say it isn't necessary to have sex in a relationship, as long as both people actually care about each other.

yes true. I was just saying that you don't wanna be inexperienced by the time your married

Fair point. There are statistics showing that people who do wait typically have longer and happier marriages, but you go for whatever you want. At least be safe, though ;)

Yeah that's a good idea commit for life before you find out if you are compatible. Who would buy a cow without trying the milk first. Of all the reasons people fall in love with each other, sex is the only one you agree to not get anywhere else. Try it before you buy it.

Girls cause eating disorders. Fashion has lead the preference for thin girls over the last century, and women's magazines are 20 years ahead of men's magazines. Cosmo girls are thinner than Playboy girls. Check for yourself. Don't blame Internet comments for whatever silly little girl issues cause eating disorders

Do you know anything about statistics? The group of people who will wait for marriage is a self-selected bias towards people who will stay married and claim to be happy even if they are miserable

@ZachIsASaint; Just a quick point - it's not just girls that get eating disorders, the occaisional guy does too, though I'm fairly certain it's a small minority. But I think you have a good point - it is fashion.

iraqagainfuck 0

Lol says the 250 lb fatass who can't see their own feet kris

I like my girls to have meat on their bones skinny annarexic girls are way to skinny and have no boobs

No offense Bbyboo, but your boyfriend will eventually get tired of not getting any and will either start pressuring you or he'll just leave you. I used to think I could wait for a girl if need be, but then I became a teenager and that was the end of that. Sex is natural. People think it's some huge life-changing ordeal before they actually do it. Once you're sexually active it's not a big deal at all. I'm not saying you should go out and do it, just that it's not as big of a deal as you think it is.

I just realized that by saying "but then I became a teenager," some not-so-bright people on here will think I am a teenager right now. I'm 26. What meant was I had those thoughts as a youngster, but once pubruty really set in, those thoughts vanished. just thought I'd clarify so some idiot doesn't say something like "what do you know, you're just a damn teenager."

Wow, I managed to butcher the spelling on that last post. Damn you iPhone!

Thats damn right. Ever tried getting a divorce because the sex was too tame or lame? The judge would laugh you out of court!  Really tho, the answer here is to do what your personality

Yeah, I gotta agree here. I'm happily married, but that would have never happened if my wife

skylar314 0

186 Not important to have sex in a relationship? Yes you need trust and to care about each other but sexual satisfaction and communication is 1 of the most important things in a relationship!! It is (if you are being faithful) something only the 2 of you can share together and if you are not satisfied how can you spend the rest of your lives together

Gabaloka 0

247 in a relationship u dont look for your own satisfaction... what a way to love if u only want to be sure the other person will satisfy you sexually.

raelynn00 4

I c what u were getting at like engine=heart I like that way of putting it bc iv had a guy tell me the whole "can't buy a car without test driving it first" before pissed me off like none other cause he took my v card too

this conversation is way too serious for fml

attraction isnt based on magazines and advertisements - we, humans, are primally attracted to mates who will either give us good children or carry our children well. healthy, skinny, moderately endowed women are physiologically good mothers, where as strong men are physically capable of providing. we are not attracted to obese people, not because of magazines, but because they have as great a chance of dying as staying alive to raise our children.

emilieee_fml 0

I love you:) i have an amazing boyfriend who loves every bit of me in every way shape and form. He doesnt care that im not going to have sex until were married, its pathetic some girls resort to weight as an insult seeing as she didnt even have a picture, are you just assumeing or are you just a major stalker like that? Good luck in life hoe..

263- Actually you have it wrong. Psychologically and physiologically, BIGGER woman are more equipped to having children. Take me for example, many girls at my school want to be my weight; I'm 95 lbs and 17 years old. But I don't like it because the risks I have if I stay this weight when I get pregnant? I'll Be a high risk pregnancy. I'm not saying OBESE women are better mothers (they could be if they treat their child right) but healthy weight women that are not twigs are, well, healthier. That's why throughout history, "big boned" women were the rich and sought out after.

And no, you don't need to "test drive". If a virgin gets married AND THEN makes love, even if they're bad at it the first couple of times, the person, with enough COMMUNICATION, can adapt to their husband/wife and learn what pleasures them and become a better lover. The sexual problems couples have are not based on whether or not the person was a virgin, because that's absurd. That means virgins can't "perfect" their skills, which means everybody would be horrible at sex. Problems are caused when couples don't talk to each and explain what makes them feel good.

#193 Who can top that shit? Who can top that shit? -R. Kelly xD

MaoKittyMaoMao 6

Sex is something you can still practice on and get better at with the one you love. Just because it's bad at first doesn't mean you just quit on your partner altogether. You communicate with them; tell them what you like, ask them what they like, and keep at it until you both get it right.

xxjona777xx 0

wow he is good at finding excuses to break up!

froggi_fml 0
japs96 0

shoulda seen that one coming. ydi

blaaaaakely 0

wtf, it posted my response on the wrong one. op doesn't deserve it, that's awful ;(

Epickitty58 29

How could she have seen that coming? She wouldn't have known he would dump her because she wasn't amazing her first time. **** the OP's life and whoever's in yours, #8.

What a jerk! Sorry OP, hopefully you'll find someone who will appreciate you for yourself not sex :(

I think that's pretty much how virginities go

karee10 0

well I've got to say he is a jerk.