Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML
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By
HowieDoIt
| 21
That testicle-ated dickly...
By
BntyHntrSeattle
| 30
If you find him, tell him to whack off the premises...
COMMENTS
By
BntyHntrSeattle
| 30
If you find him, tell him to whack off the premises...
Reply
perdix
| 29
The whole premises? He could get tennis elbow from doing that!
Reply
mb2_native
| 15
They also have treatments for that, so he's good to go.
By
HowieDoIt
| 21
That testicle-ated dickly...
Reply
Pleonasm
| 34
It ejaculated quite quickly if you ask me!
Reply
Valdrek
| 26
Cum now gentleman, lets Jizz quit while we're ahead and beat it, especially you pleonasm. I don't want to come off as a jerk, but don't push the argument with me as I am a master(de)bater. Now if you do have a sperm moment, I semen coming in the distance and could use some backup incase things get whacky.
Yeah I know I was clutching for straws at the end there :P.
Yeah I know I was clutching for straws at the end there :P.
Reply
SHAMUS_the_WITTY
| 18
That was horrid.
Let Pleonasm have that job..
Let Pleonasm have that job..
Reply
Valdrek
| 26
Thank you ma'am. And I hope Ezio continues to bring you happiness
Reply
Pleonasm
| 34
Now, now, guys, let's not all slap our dicks on the table here, this isn't a pissing contest.
But I always found it quite funny to get told to stop punning via the medium of punning ;)
Anyhow, no need for everyone to be so stiff about this.
But I always found it quite funny to get told to stop punning via the medium of punning ;)
Anyhow, no need for everyone to be so stiff about this.
Reply
Valdrek
| 26
Erection you may be right about this pleo, now let the bell end it all.
Reply
HowieDoIt
| 21
I hope everyone can get along and rub this one out. I know we're balls deep in frustration here, so we have to think long and hard of how to forgive. It'd be so satisfying to see a happy ending here!
Reply
Valdrek
| 26
Haha I love it
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
Spank you, #16... For nuttin.
Reply
momo3p
| 22
69 upvotes
By
apaloosa_fml_fml
| 21
So unsanitary!
By
bernardbrown
| 7
That is a sticky situation there.
Reply
mb2_native
| 15
You're a sticky situation.
By
Jacksparrow72
| 21
What a jerk off.
Reply
HeartOfLead
| 24
I agree, too many wankers think with their shift instead of their head. In other words "use your noodle before using your noodle".
By
BadApple88
| 29
Hand sanitizer is your friend
By
Cbizzlez
| 10
Semen that's why you should sanitize your equipment cuz jerk-offs don't care
By
ManInTheMachine
| 19
Get a UV light or a light that brings up bodily fluids and investigate.
Who knows, you might even find a crime scene. Look for THAT in the confessionals!
Who knows, you might even find a crime scene. Look for THAT in the confessionals!
By
perdix
| 29
Gives new meaning to the term "keystroke."
Reply
Pleonasm
| 34
And Numb-Lock ;)))
Reply
ManInTheMachine
| 19
Sony forget the Sticky-keys.
Definitely sticky keys.
Definitely sticky keys.
Reply
ManInTheMachine
| 19
Fuck, *Don't.
Reply
Pleonasm
| 34
I know Sony are some shady mofos, but I don't think they'd intentionally jizz on all my keys!
(what's wrong with your spelling today? Don't blame autocorrect!)
(what's wrong with your spelling today? Don't blame autocorrect!)
Reply
ManInTheMachine
| 19
I dunno. Guess I'm a little rusty after taking an extended leave of absence from FML.
I also noticed Keevarou is back.
I also noticed Keevarou is back.
Reply
Pleonasm
| 34
Should I feel ashamed I don't know who that is?
I think I'm too asocial, and this is the internet. Gosh. I feel so alone. *cries*
I think I'm too asocial, and this is the internet. Gosh. I feel so alone. *cries*
Reply
HowieDoIt
| 21
Don't worry Pleo, he meant Kleenex, the auto correct got him again
Reply
Pleonasm
| 34
That makes more sense. MITM, get a grip! Err, wrong choice of words.
I mean, control your discharging!
I mean, control your discharging!
Reply
ManInTheMachine
| 19
No I meant Keevarou. He goes pretty far back.
Reply
I_iz_B_a_troll
| 23
Pleonasm, you've just got to get used to being the new kid around these parts. You'll learn. ;)
Reply
Pleonasm
| 34
I'm not new, I've lurked for years :'( Just not well enough, I guess.
Reply
HeartOfLead
| 24
MWell, since were all reminiscing here, I really miss Flockz and wish Freeze would comment more often along with KaySL...l
By
Fmylab
| 8
That's really gross, but it's not news that people are gross. You went looking for people's dark secrets, found one that's honestly not that surprising, so YDI for being grossed out.
Reply
GingerNinja7
| 17
I'd probably want to know if someone was jerking off and using my things too, at least so i'd know to replace it or wash it
Reply
SirCharles83
| 13
In that case 44, I've been jerking off and using all of your things. You're welcome. Not for telling you, but for the act itself.