Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every morning. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML
Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
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Top comments
coffeefiend 0
Haha. So your dad likes mom over easy?
thikimo 0
mmm yummy
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Comments (110)
lalasha 0
sad for your mother she should be spanking him.
DAMNimSEXY 0
that's what that tangy flavor was!
HeXr 22
it would be much more different if he was putting it IN her ass.
quietlytearful 0
it's really bad for you to eat eggs everyday. it's only healthy to eat about 4 eggs per week.. so ydi for eatin too much eggs! : p
OasC82 0
can I borrow that
dantheman31297 0
gross but not an fml
classic036 0
so? it's called soap. wash the damn thing and get over it
everydayisfml07 3
it's called soap?
NeNiTa14 0
ewww.... 0.o
PomBread 0
So you eat eggs EVERY morning? That's pretty bad for your arteries!