Intimacy: Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same...

By suckstobeme - 24/03/2010 15:00 - United States

Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 307

You deserved it 4 693

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 302

You deserved it 2 707

Cooked

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 505

Breakfast time!

By shit flavored eggs - 09/03/2021 00:30

Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 430

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 320

You deserved it 4 001

Fight ****

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 10:00

Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 293

By pasquale - 20/09/2014 06:54 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 038

You deserved it 5 630

I love that for you

By NeedHeadPhone - 30/11/2009 16:51 - Canada

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 995

You deserved it 2 990

By Laura - 11/03/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 560

You deserved it 4 607

By ZeroApostle4Ever - 23/02/2012 08:00 - United States

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 072

You deserved it 6 589

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 261

You deserved it 1 724

coffeefiend 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 19:04

Haha. So your dad likes mom over easy?

thikimo 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 19:05

mmm yummy

Comments

lalasha 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 0:42

sad for your mother she should be spanking him.

DAMNimSEXY 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 1:04

that's what that tangy flavor was!

HeXr 22

Thursday 25 March 2010 1:06

it would be much more different if he was putting it IN her ass.

quietlytearful 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 1:10

it's really bad for you to eat eggs everyday. it's only healthy to eat about 4 eggs per week.. so ydi for eatin too much eggs! : p

OasC82 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 1:12

can I borrow that

dantheman31297 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 1:24

gross but not an fml

classic036 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 1:30

so? it's called soap. wash the damn thing and get over it

everydayisfml07 3

Thursday 25 March 2010 1:34

it's called soap?

NeNiTa14 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 1:37

ewww.... 0.o

PomBread 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 1:45

So you eat eggs EVERY morning? That's pretty bad for your arteries!

Keywords

Clumsy Accident Health Periods Relatable Food Embarrassing Airport Vacation Zoom Work Animals Cats My ex Awkward Parents Love Kids Plumbing Miscellaneous DIY Transportation Clothes Fire Bodyshaming AITA Relationship advice Break-ups Ironic Cute

The Top

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Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 3 188

You deserved it 515

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I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 81

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 069

You deserved it 72 042

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I agree, your life sucks 32 708

You deserved it 5 051

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 167

You deserved it 5 987