Intimacy: Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same... - FML

By suckstobeme - 24/03/2010 15:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 306

You deserved it 4 693

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Same thing different taste

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 302

You deserved it 2 707

Cooked

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 503

Breakfast time!

By shit flavored eggs - 09/03/2021 00:30

Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 430

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 14:58 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 319

You deserved it 4 000

Fight ****

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 10:00

Spicy

Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 293

By pasquale - 20/09/2014 06:54 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 038

You deserved it 5 630

I love that for you

By NeedHeadPhone - 30/11/2009 16:51 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 994

You deserved it 2 990

By Laura - 11/03/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 560

You deserved it 4 607

By ZeroApostle4Ever - 23/02/2012 08:00 - United States

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 072

You deserved it 6 589

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 261

You deserved it 1 724

Next

Top comments

coffeefiend 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 19:04

Haha. So your dad likes mom over easy?

thikimo 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 19:05

mmm yummy

Comments

getsthegirls 4

Wednesday 24 March 2010 22:36

i would love to see what they taste like

mp73 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 22:38

I hope they're cage free eggs

taylorx3 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 22:43

lmfaoo thts odee nasty

DallasBeaner 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 22:44

Nasty

pilnorm 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 23:00

Can I spank your mom?

pauli_fml 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 23:09

Niiice!

painkillers 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 0:05

nasty!!

one2skate 2

Thursday 25 March 2010 0:17

sorry, this isn't that funny... now if you'd walked in on them having sex in the kitchen whilst he was spanking her with the spatula, that would have been funny.

BrookeTrueblood 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 0:36

Haha. 20 and 7 win

mistershing 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 0:40

you must be crapping 24/7 having eggs every morning :3

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The Top

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

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Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 55 480

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I agree, your life sucks 42 143

You deserved it 5 210

Today, on my second day at my new job, a customer called my manager with a complaint about me. He said I put the cheese "upside down" on his sandwich, and that made it taste bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 007

You deserved it 1 790

Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 431

Today, I realized that I can't shave my unibrow because I have too much acne on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 621

You deserved it 10 353