Intimacy, Health and Sex: These boots are made for walking - FML

These boots are made for walking

By Anonymous - 08/03/2021 05:01

Spicy

Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 357

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 23:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 599

You deserved it 34 639

By Big B - 04/02/2009 17:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 054

You deserved it 45 546

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 189

You deserved it 21 643

By sadgirl - 23/01/2009 16:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 918

You deserved it 56 267

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 22:29 - Mexico - Mexico

Spicy

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 023

You deserved it 9 308

By sexyfreak2510 - 03/09/2009 06:47 - South Africa

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 306

You deserved it 51 903

By Anonymous - 06/10/2010 23:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 683

You deserved it 38 541

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 07:32 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 360

You deserved it 7 147

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 803

You deserved it 97 694

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 05:43 - Canada

Spicy

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 735

You deserved it 9 193

Next

Top comments

Anzubar 5

Monday 8 March 2021 7:37

Lucky, I normally pay extra for that!

MannyWasHere 12

Monday 8 March 2021 5:14

Strip clubs = Blue balls

Comments

MannyWasHere 12

Monday 8 March 2021 5:14

Strip clubs = Blue balls

Anzubar 5

Monday 8 March 2021 7:37

Lucky, I normally pay extra for that!

RichardPencil 30

Monday 8 March 2021 8:57

They do that all the time. That's why I don't go without my codpiece anymore. You can choose from many fun codpieces on Etsy.

LeahMichelle 6

Saturday 20 March 2021 9:23

But the question is... Did you get any money back or did you pay her more after you realised you enjoyed it? 😂

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You deserved it 193

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You deserved it 137

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