Damn

By happybudiess - 14/10/2011 04:30 - United States

Spicy
Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 190
You deserved it 55 309

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

That sucks so bad. But kudos to you for actually going to get tested. Most people don't and spread diseases left and right.

At least you know that now.

Comments

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Look at OPS username.

Wrap it up. Simple concept.

Well, If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.

Don't be silly, wrap your willy.

If its not on... its not on ;)

all these safe sex quotes O.O

Don't be so random, wear a condom.

Don't be so random, wear a condom.

Don't be so random, wear a condom.

Damn it, my iPod posted it three times

got an erecrion wear protection

Don't bee a fool, wrap your tool.

You all are ass holes!!!! You can get STD's without sex, some are actually bacterial infections that can be caught then transmitted through sex and others like crabs can just happen if they get into your underwear, you all need some edumication !!! But smack that raw dog and cuddle!!!!

Don't be a loner, cover your boner

STI. Sexually transmitted infection

Don't worry, fabian. It wasn't funny the first time either.

66: no shit Sherlock, but you can get lice anywhere and he has lice, and tell a bio major who is going for a med degree who is right, I'm pretty sure I have a little more background than you! Just cause u can look it up online does not make you smarter or right!! Take a few med courses and talk to me k! Lol

Everyone who Is posting: when was the last time you have been tested?

Ooo, #70 I love this game... the whole "I say I'm a major in this, so I know more!" Last I checked, they taught this stuff in high school health classes. And by the way, it doesn't take an English major to read this post and realize that OP said "STD" and NOT crabs. So maybe lay off the whole "I'm right, you're wrong" thing... m'kay? Because you don't really have enough information to be calling us all assholes.

arin2009 - For all that is good, I sincerely hope you don't have experience in the medical field if you can't even take the time to spell out the words "because" and "you". I wouldn't want you touching or treating me if my life depended on it.

You can be born with HIV

And you can get herpes and lices without even having sex. But most STD's are really sexual transmittable. Or that's atleast what they tought me. Oh, Arin2009, I thumbed you down not because you are wrong, but because you are so aggressive.

No glove no love.

66: You can get AIDS from sharing a needle. Last time I checked, sharing a needle didn't involve sex.

80- while you can be born with aids, you don't usually live long enough to be sexually active

96- depending on what meds you take and keeping yourself healthy, you can actually live a long life.

#94, who would share a needle with someone who won't even put out?

It could easily be chlamydia. Most men have no symptoms at all. Maybe his last girlfriend cheated on him or didn't know she had it either. Try not to judge before knowing the whole story! And OP, be thankful you're finding out now instead of later. :)

Ur an idiot. SEXUALLY transmitted disease not a yeast infection.

Can we go back to the safe sex jokes? :)

Wrap yer stump, before yah hump.

You sir need to calm down.

66: just because it's a "sexually transmitted disease" doesn't mean that's how he obtained it. There's plenty of ways. That just means that's how it's most commonly transmitted. Chicken pox is sexually transmitted as well but it's just a contact issue. Doesn't mean he's dirty necessarily. Everyone takes shit so literally.

I don't really want to get involved but it is possible to contract certain STD's without sexual contact. Sex is just the primary means of infection for those ailments

If op was born with it, he'd know. If he was sharing needles well then there's not a whole lot of sympathy for him... And if it's crabs, he probably wouldn't post it here, he'd just shave

Jr tryin to be hard with no deployment patch ahhh haha

WE GOT A BADASS OVER HERE! ... STFU kid. No one cares if you look $3 med classes, ARIN.

Dont be silly wrap your willie

At least you know that now.

Orange you glad you went to the free clinic.

There is this revolutionary thing called a condom.. Contrary to popular belief they were invented for STD control not birth control.. Fact.

That sucks so bad. But kudos to you for actually going to get tested. Most people don't and spread diseases left and right.

And by the way, she's a smart girl for making u go b4 having sex with u. (I'm assuming she did based off this fml).

Yeah, some guys (or in this case a girl) don't say anything!! I know from personal experience, sorry you have an STD OP, I do too, it will be ok though!

I am impressed that people in this life still have some decency and don't just go around spreading STDs without care..

Yes great job for being so responsible

Old rule = no glove no love. You broke the rule so ydi

You would kno if he was using one or not. Maybe he was an it broke??

There is no reason for you to be so ignorant and cocky at the same time. Most common STDs like HPV & herpes can be contracted from skin contact. The condom only covers so much skin.

Skin and fluids. If he's performing well, the condoms not gonna keep the rest of the pubic area dry. I think something like 1 in 4 people have hpv; it's that common. And in males symptomless. Assuming he didn't use a condom is just as ignorant as having careless sexual encounters.

There's always ear sex, which can be quite exhilarating.

I enjoy bellybutton sex. Maybe you would, too.

5, Is that so she can hear you cum?

It's called aural sex.

Once you go black, you go deaf... :)

hmmm reminds me of family guy

Ear sex: coining the term, "once you go black, you go deaf!"

But then he might get hearing aids..

hearing aids only AID in hearing, if you're completely deaf they don't work for you

You somehow missed the joke.

Sounds like you weren't all for going to the clinic in the first place, which is shitty if you've -ever- been in a situation where you could get a STD.

Not everyone knows -.- not everyone shows very visual signs when they have it (male & female) though females show more symptoms typically.

I said if he were in a -situation- where he could contract an STD. If he can't use protection, he deserves it.

Now you know and knowing is half the battle.

G.I. Jose, Robot chicken reference

Well, even with a STD, you could always have sex with a condom on. I'm glad you tested it, and I hope it's an STD that can be cured.

Seriously? Get your facts checked. A condom may prevent HIV but it doesn't prevent the transmission of all STDs.

Well, I doubt. Why would a condom be able to stop you from spreading HIV when it isn't able to prevent you from spreading others?

Condoms only reduce the transmission of the organisms that cause AIDS, genital herpes, cervical cancer, genital warts, syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and a few other STI's. Although a condom is effective in limiting exposure, some disease transmission may occur even with a condom. Infectious areas of the genitals, especially when symptoms are present, may not be covered by a condom, and as a result, some diseases can be transmitted by direct contact. The primary effectiveness issue with using condoms to prevent STDs, however, is inconsistent use.

Negative! Warts and herpes get through for 2 reasons: 1, the cells are very tiny and more importantly 2, the infections are spread through skin contact, and the condom is only covering the shaft.

Wow you people are poorly educated. 81 is correct. Condoms can only guarantee limited exposure not preventing transmission. If your skin don't touch, and the condom don't break how is it supposed to spread? Plus only a very few stds are through contact. They are typically spread by fluids from the infected person entering into some kind of orifice on their partner! Which can be there without them even realizing it.

63- reread your comment and explain to me how that makes sense. It can stop AIDS, but gl stopping anything else? ey, wut? Condoms are meant as a preventative means to stop the spread of STDS and Babies. There is never a sure fire guarantee, but at least you have that chance of not catching that pesky gingivitis.

NOWAYJOSE 14

I'm glad your girlfriend insisted.

I agree, It just proves that the OP is with a responsible girl who is going about life with a fairly down to earth mindset.

Don't be silly, protect your willy! Trojan man is disappoint.