Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every morning. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML
Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
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Top comments
coffeefiend 0
Haha. So your dad likes mom over easy?
thikimo 0
mmm yummy
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Comments (110)
AquaSky 1
Wait until you see what they do with the whisk.
unrated 0
who uses a spatula to make eggs!
anoelle 0
who doesn't... ?
Manda_1818 0
How are you supposed to make them without a spatula?
unrated 0
you can used the pan. and if you need a utensil a spoon would work beat
Manda_1818 0
last time i tried flipping it without a spatula it landed on my shoulder. i still got the scars. but maybe that is just me...
unrated 0
sorry about that next time becareful
Manda_1818 0
i try but im really clumsy! im the type of girl who walks into walls by accident
sourgirl101 29
Ooh your mom must have been very very naughty.
BizzaroG 0
yeah and spatulas make the best weapon to fight naughtiness ;)
perdix 31
Never, never, never use the rolling pin! ;)
daniel1_1 13
lol
ScaryyMary 14
Don't eat any mayo either! :)
perdix 31
It would be funny if Mom held the turkey baster aloft and proclaimed, "Meet your real father!"
Invioletlight 0
Yuck. Eggs every morning?
ninba20 0
hahaha how long has that been going on i wonder?
shaniii_fml 0
oooh bad buz babe
lpnkprincess 0
o lalala do u have tht one tape??
slimm_shadyy 0
And you liked it.
olw25 0
azz n eggs baby!!!