By Pushover - 13/02/2010 03:30 - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend of 8 years cheating on me. I punched him in the face, he broke up with me. And I still had to cook him an entire turkey dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 660
You deserved it 40 710

Same thing different taste


Not really, but I'm never going to get a chance like that again.

If you viewed it as me trying to put you down, then I apologize. I was just surprised that my past assumption seemed to be correct. No hard feelings.

Jeezus, Freeze was just bein' funny, no need to be a bitch about it and snap at him like that...

Noooooooo! Why do all the good ones turn! :'( You've ruined my life snickerdoodles! I will never be able to live this down... next stop Dubai, and it's the top of the Bourg I'll be falling off. :( Dramatic enough?

When you presume you make a pres out of you and me!

Yea ,why does it matter? Either way that's hot XD sry had to say it.

@back_in_action no I'm saying they shouldn't be dating any more. they should have either broken up or married. 8 years is way to long to still be indecisive.

well if there wasn't enough there after eight years to constitute marriage then it's likely the guy was just using her for sex. or vice versa

dontpanic_fml 32

You are very right, dman4412. Really, anybody who says otherwise is willfully stupid, knows they're wrong and is just in denial, or is just clueless. Back_in_action, you don't take 8 years to know if you want to marry somebody. You don't. Ever. Nobody. Ever. Just dating sombody for anything more than 3 years is ridiculous.

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lol. Almost. Oh and this FML sucks big time. i don't know what sucks more; you being a pushover or the fact that your man (may I add of 8 damn years?!) cheated. Close call though.

NeonWar__ 0

why would you then continue to cook dinner for him? stupid.

delaney16 0

no wonder he was cheating on u! u have been together for 8 fricken years!! and ur a wimp for making him that dinner

Ya that sucks I would have poisoned the shit out of that turkey

whatthe_efff 0

Why the hell would you cook the bastard dinner? Should have thrown his sorry ass out.

@ImaBmyLonurTees: If you're in a solid relationship you shouldn't need a piece of paper, an expensive piece of metal and the threat of losing 50% of your shit to stay together.

this is why they made laxatives *wink wink*

She "Punched him in the face"! That's domestic violence. The OP should've been arrested. If her boyfriend had punched her in the face he'd be in jail by now.

Um. You need, "How to Break-Up For Dummies". Seriously. Pushover is right. He cheated on you. Tell the world. Buy a billboard, key his car, call the other girl up. All of the above if you like. Don't give him crap! This FML makes no rational sense. Unless he was holding a gun to your head (in which case you should be at the police station NOW and not on FML), I can think of no reason in the world you could possibly *have* to cook him anything. There is always somewhere else to go, and there's always a better man in the world. This FML is a damn shame.

lol. I think #167 is mad :P i always wonder why people freak out on these comment things... and... OP doesn't deserve to be cheated on but, she doesn't have to cook him dinner. I'm genuinely curious why she did that..

Garganana, nothing about this relationship or the OP sounds stable. Besides, if stable relationships don't "need" to be validated by marriage, does that mean only people in unstable relationships should marry? It's not about need. If both people in the relationship really prize the label of single person, thar's fine. But there is no need to devalue marriage by equating it with just paper and jewellery.

4stringfurioso 0

After 8 years, that's probably nothing new.

what is it then? the commitment, love and daily intimacy and interaction is what matters. i know couples who are not married and they are more happy and solid than most married people I know. marriage has lost it's meaning in this country. i think it says something more to not need that ceremony, paper and hunk of metal to make u feel secure in

greeneyedgoalie7 0

#277 I completely agree, this makes no logical sense

ryguy997 0
mellovesyuh 0

I would have like poisoned it..... just sayingg ;) lol

She said she caught him cheating. So she probably works at a restaurant and he didn't know she had a job there. They apparently had a unstable relationship if they aren't married or just don't want to get married.

if it's just a piece of paper and metal, then what makes your unmarried friends more happy than married couples?

Shoulda put jalapenos in his turkey. haha

kendybendy 6

are all you guys stupid? the reason she still has to make turkey dinner is probably for thanksgiving

sugarbear0727 19

Abortion is a right that women have, nothing will change that. I hate people who are prolife, because what are you going to do when you get raped, and end up pregnant? I wouldn't want a reminder of the worst day of my life for the next 19 years. Men have tried to fight abortions, saying its not fair for the women to have the sole decision, but it is fair. Its our body, we can do with it as we please. The Judge who wrote the opinion on Roe v. Wade states that abortion is legal up till three months because until then, the fetus is considered a parasite, because it has to live of the mother in order to survive. After three months it can viably live outside the womb. So there you have it. Just like people can go to the doctor and get tapeworms removed, you can go to a clinic and get an abortion. It doesn't mean that the women is heartless, or cold, it just means that she made a choice to not have a child at that time.

she's a woman, it's embedded in her DNA to cook.

seriously? are you that low? oh ur s/n's mr. that explains it. women are not made to wait on their husband. (which is what ur implying) in fact, my dad does most of the baking and helps out with the cooking so there!

BigLostBear 0

#104 don't get yourself overworked he's just a troll and some trolls like to spread hate around to create controversy, so just ignore them.

Don't make such a big deal about it, he was joking.

TrekkieGirl 0

WTF, OP? You didn't "Have to cook" him anything. Just ridiculous!

Blatstuff 0

OP, why in the world do you feel as though you "have to" cook him a turkey dinner?? Invite some girlfriends over and enjoy it with them. Or family. Anyone but that scum bag. That piece of shit you have been calling your boyfriend deserves nothing from you after pulling that crap! Well, nothing more than a swift kick in the nuts. By allowing him over for dinner, you are not only condoning his behavior, but you are telling this low life that you are ok with how he has acted and how he has treated you. Furthermore, you are telling him that you are ok with him cheating on you. Don't be a dumbass, tell him to **** off and have his new fling cook for him. Why would you let him wipe his feet on you and degrade you by taking advantage of your obviously low self esteem? No offense intended. You dont deserve to be treated like that, nobody does. You will find someone else who really cares for you and loves you unconditionally. Most importantly, when you find that person you won't have to worry about them being unfaithful as they will truly love you for who you are. In addition, the thought of being intimate with someone else will never cross their mind. When you are loved that deeply, and feel true love, your partner will treat you like the woman you deserve to be treated like. Of course in turn, helping you with these self esteem issues. Don't let him (your current sorry-ass boyfriend) use you for a doormat or you will actually begin to believe that you deserve to be treated like that. Stand strong and kick his ass to the curb, you will feel much better and thank yourself in the long run. That's my two cents, good luck to you OP. I am sorry you are in this situation, I truly am. It's a very difficult spot to be in, but remember this: At this point YOU are allowing this type of behavior to continue and YOU need to take responsibility for making it better for yourself.

Haha, I had a friend who, when she found her bf cheating, she beat the crap out of both of them. The girl ended up with a broken nose and cracked ribs. Sorry, but my bf knows that cheating is the one thing that can get you kicked out. It's the fastest way to get me to ditch a guy.

xlostwithoutu 0

it's obviously fake look at the username of the OP

Exactly! I agree with #42 she chose to cook for him. That's her fault.

Cause she's a woman and belongs in the kitchen. Still you broke up with him and shouldn't cook for him. Although, you deserve to get sued for punching him. Thats assault you dumb ****.

LTMcleod 0

has it ever dawned on you they live together?

I am a woman, and I am not offended, for I am too busy planning to make a sangich (sammich). It's a woman joke, it's not gonna somehow make our rights as people crumble and cause an economic depression. It's just a joke. If it's not, then.....I'll just keep cooking....but I wont be pleased!

lovesickxox 1

ur an ass women rnt here for ur enjoyment u lil dumbass god

jbrambila 0

WTF?!?! u need to get punched too!!

greeneyedgoalie7 0

she should have punched him, the dusche bag deserved it that's what you get for cheating

81- YOU get in the kitchen and cook me some pie! then go **** urself.

Probably caught him in the restaurant she worked at

If that's the case, easy fix, spit in their food.

doink 0

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Maddoctor 10

Yeah but personally I think cheating is one rare occasion when people have the right to slap a bitch. I'd do it to my boyfriend if I caught him cheating and, although he has never laid a hand on me, wouldn't be shocked if I got slapped when caught doing the same. It's a normal human reaction. We're not talking a full-on beating, just a hit to the face.

#3 is right. This is what pisses me off about women: they expect special treatment at their discretion. They want equal rights, equal pay, and equal treatment for everything EXCEPT when it comes to shit like this. You catch him cheating and punch him in the face and get away with it, but if he caught you cheating and punched YOU in the face; it's domestic abuse. Door swings both ways, bitch.

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I'm pretty sure it's a woman's choice to have a baby if she doesn't mind suffering 9 months. If the guy really didn't want a kid then he should have been safer. I see the point you're trying to make, though.

Maddoctor 10

It shouldn't be soley the women's decision to have an abortion or not. Sure it's her body, but two people had sex and it's two people's baby, therefore both people should have equal say in the decision. If neither person wanted a baby, both should have taken steps to pevent pregnancy.

doink 0

A punch to the face is a little different than a slap to the face.

Maddoctor 10

Either way you deserve it if you cheat. In fact you kind of deserve both...just for good measure.

46 is soo right dude. your dumb and wrong

the womans the one having the baby and suffering about 9 months! if she doesnt want to go through that pain then thats her choice not the guys! just like its the guys choice to have safe sex if he doesnt want to have the baby.

#28, if i punched my girlfriend for cheating on me, I would probably be charged with something.

Maddoctor: I completely disagree about abortion. Sure it takes two to tango. But only one has to give birth, and one gets most of the responsibilty to raise the kid in at least the early years. If someone has the power to prevent an abortion simply by objecting, that is in no way fair. Even if the guy took 100% equal responsibility, there still is responsibility for the female the whole giving birth thing, that if she doesn't want to do, she shouldn't have to.

I'd be PISSED if my husband got a vasectomy without asking me whether or not I was ok with it. That would be grounds for a divorce for me...

I think a fair solution would be that the woman has the one and only, final say in whether or not an abortion takes place BUT with a catch. The man can put his John Hancock on an "I want an abortion" form to state his intent. If the woman vetos the abortion and goes ahead with the baby anyway, the man has no legal obligation towards the child, financial or otherwise. That way no one is forced to take care of a child they don't want. It's not perfect, but I'm betting if there were a perfect legal solution for this it'd already be in place by now.

Phosphoric, I totally agree that you have the best solution. it's not perfect, but i like it. The only problem is if the child sees that form when he get older he might seek revenge for you trying to get rid of him.

I feel bad that it does ultimately all come down to the girl. I feel like both parties should have a say, but ultimately, I know myself and I wouldn't get rid of a child, even if it was an oops. I am a fan of letting him know, if he's not interested in being a part of it, I would have him sign over any and all legal rights to me in return for me not going after child support. Im one of those girls who is perfectly capable of taking care of myself and a child. I'd prefer the guy not be involed if he doesn't want to be. To me, I'd rather not have the child support than for him to have some kind of claim to the child later. The hardest situation, for me, is when the dad wants the child and the mom doesn't. He doesn't get a say in it at all. I wish that the guy could take care of her medical stuff and then have the girl sign paperwork to sign over any and all legal rights to that guy. If both parties want an abortion, I understand doing it. When one party wants to while the other doesn't, that's where I have a hard time.

Actually women can be abusers as well as men. It's stereotypical to say that only men are abusers. However this is assault along with domestic abuse.

@phosphoric: it should be phrased differently. Basically there should be form saying "I accept responsibility for this child". If you sign it you'll get visitation rights and you'll accept financial responsibility for the child - no matter how the relationship to the woman develops. If you don't then you lose all rights to the child, but the child is not your responsibility either. However whether the woman wants to have an abortion or not is solely her decision you don't get a say on that - it's her body. Also if you years later want to change your mind and suddenly feel it's your child after all, then you are out of luck. If the mother doesn't want you in the child's life by that stage, then you have to stay the hell away.

@174 In such a situation where both the man and woman agree to it, having the man or his insurance take care of any of the woman's medical bills, coupled with him having full custody and responsibility for the child, may not be a bad idea. However, that is not a viable option for a situation where the mother does not wish to carry the baby, but the father wishes to have a child. Carrying a child is not like carrying a purse. It places an extreme emotional and physical toll on the mother. There is a high chance that it will change her body permanently. She could be injured for life from pregnancy or birth complications. She may suffer postnatal depression, or develop gestational diabetes. Let's not forget the simple fact that after that, custody or no, she will be a mother. Forever. Creating another human being from your body is a bit much for some people to handle. Unfortunately, childbearing is just not a biologically "equal" process between the sexes. I don't believe it's ever right to force a woman through it.

Maddoctor 10

I agree with most of the comments stated here. Pretty much all I was trying to say was if I ever got impregnated by my boyfriend, I'd be courteous enough to let him have an equal say in the situation, as it would be his child too. If we disagreed, we'd have to try to come to some sort of understsnding. But in the instance I did have the child and we were split up, he'd have to pay for child support, and I think that's reason enough to include him in the decision of what to do with the pregnancy whether it be terminating it or not. But this really has nothing to do with the FML in the first place. Someone just started going off about women's rights...

It should absolutely be an "opt in" choice, otherwise there is no protection for guys if the woman decides not to tell him about her pregnancy until it is too late for an abortion.

Ninjasaurus18 9

He also CHEATED ON HER. After an entire eight years!!!! If she cheated in him, it would be ok for him to do the same thing.

#109 That's what's stupid about equality."We want equal rights! You can't touch me, I'm a girl!" I just don't understand how talking about equal rights led to a debate on who controls abortion. It's the woman's decision, she chooses if she wants it or not.

maniaccy 8

Are you kind of retarded or something? 8 years of relationship is not a joke. He'll, if I caught my boy doing that I would have spilt hot cooking grease all over him while cooking.

I agree 100% 3. Domestic violence is not acceptable, no matter what the so called "reason" is. Ignore the twit that is 410.

thisismyhead 25

You must be pretty stupid yourself considering 'split' is not a word. I believe you mean spilled. Dumbass.

412, actually "dumbass", it can be spelt both ways, depending on where you live. Ex. Spelt/spelled, hung/hanged, etc.

First off #412, you must be pretty damn stupid yourself... For 1 "split" is an actual word, which, if you're going to try to pipe up & try to correct someone & try to make them look stupid then at the very least get the word right that you are trying to correct them on as in #410 said 'spilt' not "split". Also, take a second to look something up as to not make yourself look really dumb. "Spilt" is defined in the dictionary as "Spilt or 'spilled' is the past and past participle of spill". If you want to go out of your way to try to correct someone at least make sure you yourself know what your talking about. Dumbass. That is all.

cryssycakesx3 22

doink I completely agree. I watch the trashy daytime talk shows (fml) when a guy hits a girl thy want to burn him at the stake, but vice versa they cheer the girl on and laugh and applaud. sure domestic violence is *never* OK but sometimes girls have it coming. especially when she hits him and gets mad when he busts her in her jaw.

cryssycakesx3 22

hung and hanged are not the same thing. a person is hanged. pictures are hung.

#416. yes the words are the same. don't correct if you got it wrong to.

thatonetribute 31

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I'm sorry but UR STUPID FOR NOT BEIN ABLE TO READ it says that she did catch him cheating not she assumed not that she thought but she actually caught him cheating

Maddoctor 10

It's ok, snickerdoodles! Perdix told me, he gets hot when you talk like that.

Who's perdix? alot of people have been talking about him.

Maddoctor 10

He's only one of the kings of FML. i.e. he posts a lot of funny commentary on this site.

Just some FML *****, he entertains the guests as they're passing through town. :P

Perdix is a funny guy these pathetic fangirls and fanbois get way too into,, its quite sad really. threads were they instead of trying to come up with something witty, screams for Perdix to enter and add his own witty 2 cents

Perdix is your fiancé, really? Aren't you 16?

The United States sounds like a lovely place, really.

"lo1337a" is probably one of the cleverest usernames I've ever seen. Ever.

#130. WOW THAT WAS SO RANDOM. also snickerdoodles, would've used punctuations and actually ended the sentance, but my itouch has been actin up lately :D so yea sorry to give u any reason to break ur promise to perdix

I've actually enjoyed fml a lot since she stopped bitching at people. every once in a while a particularly annoying grammatical error should be addressed... glad she toned it down.

No, no, no... he's part Santa, part Easter Bunny, a pinch of Babe the blue ox and just a hint of Chuck Norris. His posts cure cancer and sometimes he's funny.

megthegreat 2

she did have proof! she CAUGHT him!


why did you still HAVE to cook a meal? i woulda cooked it then thrown it in his face! what a jerk!!

that's what you get for dating for 8 years. obviously it wasn't a serious enough relationship to get engaged or really commit to one another.

Maybe they started dating in high school and were waiting till they got out of college or something? They could have been dating for 8 years but be 22 or 23

why would you still serve dinner to that asshole after that?

skeleton_skinner 0