Love: Today, my boyfriend drove to my house to break up with me. He...

By Ima in Hungary - 22/03/2012 12:06 - United States - Silsbee

Today, my boyfriend drove to my house to break up with me. He only did so after I'd vacuumed the whole house to compensate for his cat allergies. I thought he was just coming to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 734

You deserved it 2 585

Love

Time to bail

Menace II Society

Kids will be kids

By smallfrie32 - 23/11/2010 05:22

Today, I realized that 95% of my facebook friends added me only because they think my sisters are hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 124

You deserved it 4 523

By Anonymous - 24/02/2010 04:22 - United States

Today, I had to file for bankruptcy because my ex-wife didn't want to pay for the house she didn't want me to have in the divorce, and didn't bother to have my name removed from the loan before she filed bankruptcy herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 787

You deserved it 3 566

Thanks, I hate it!

By JacksWag4 - 16/08/2013 22:21 - United States - Romulus

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 431

You deserved it 21 548

By Yellowsmellow - 22/09/2016 17:57 - Canada - Windsor

Today, and for the past two weeks, the people living directly above me have decided to add rearranging their furniture to their daily routines. Not only that but apparently, 6 a.m. is the most optimal time for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 309

You deserved it 674

By krissysays - 25/10/2010 02:16 - United States

Today, I heard on the news that the average debt one is in when they graduate college is $24,000. I've been in college for one year and my debt is already $20,000. And it turns out that my school's accreditation does not exist like I was told. $20,000 in debt and no college credits to show for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 083

You deserved it 7 737

By effedfosh - 07/04/2009 04:53 - Canada

Today, I overheard a couple talking behind me. She said, "You wanna know what's really scary?" He said, "the size of that guy? Yeah he's huge", to which she replied, "no, the scary thing is that's a chick." They weren't talking about me, but they sure were talking about my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 512

You deserved it 8 806

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 15:00 - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my mother that it is inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 180

You deserved it 2 683

By WorstMedicalBill - 20/11/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 126

You deserved it 21 739

By anonymous - 20/04/2016 03:09 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I asked a short girl to prom by making a "You must be this tall to say no" sign. She grabbed a chair, stood on it, and then said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 860

You deserved it 30 215

Hood life

By Anonymous - 07/12/2013 20:49 - United States

Today, my car wouldn't start because of the cold weather. Since I was at a friend's house, I asked him to jump-start it. After taking about ten minutes to start his vehicle and park it by mine, we found that both of our car hoods were frozen shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 619

You deserved it 3 844

By Anonymous - 04/12/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I walked into school confident about the new hair color I'd had done over the weekend. My drama teacher apparently dyed her hair the same color; everyone noticed and thought I'd copied her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 661

You deserved it 2 338

By cait - 26/08/2019 15:00 - United States - Edmond

Today, within one day of meeting me, my stepmom decided to break up with my dad. Her reason being, "I love you, but I just can’t put up with the kid." I’m 'the kid'. I’m 28 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 753

You deserved it 178

By brokeass - 13/06/2012 12:29 - United States

Today, I called the landlord about the mouse I keep seeing in my kitchen. He wasted no time accusing me of keeping it as a pet, and went off on me about his "no pets" policy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 139

You deserved it 1 951

Who are you?

By shannon - 02/04/2021 20:59

Today, I asked my coworker for her name. She screamed at me because apparently I'd already asked her 5 times before. I have no memory of any of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 208

By galladore - 12/12/2014 15:17 - United States - Bensenville

Today, my oldest friend got engaged to her loving boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I can't even get my boyfriend of more than four years to commit to a decision of what he wants for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 440

You deserved it 4 905

By jellybean - 06/11/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 768

You deserved it 10 974

Cheats, cheats everwhere

By bbbblt - 15/08/2010 11:39 - Australia

Today, my sister got caught cheating on her boyfriend. She was cheating on him with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 793

You deserved it 3 820

Wake up bark

By Anonymous - 26/03/2021 05:00 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, my mom taught her dog not to jump onto her bed without "asking". The dog figured that barking would be a good way to ask, and mostly feels the need to do that around 4 a.m. My room is right next to my mom’s, and I already have trouble sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 55

Privacy

By silver bear - 15/05/2021 17:00

Today, my dad saw my cleared internet history and said, "You do know we can still track your history with your IP address, right?" I don’t ever look at porn or anything like that. I just don’t want other people knowing all my business all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 96

By friendly_neighbourhood_psycho - 19/08/2011 22:47 - Sweden

Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 291

You deserved it 9 351

By gkid92 - 16/08/2011 16:16 - Canada

Today, I found out that if I don't get fillings in at least ten of my teeth within the next year, I could lose them all. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 418

You deserved it 42 976

By xharuki - 29/08/2010 20:37 - United States

Today, I was closing at work when someone came in ten minutes before close (2am) and placed a huge order. I couldn't turn him away because he's my manager from my other job. He was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 605

You deserved it 3 507

Thanks for being so compassionate

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 01:59 - Jamaica - Kingston

Today, and for the past year, I've been struggling with depression because of family life. I've been talking to my mom for the past weeks, telling her things that happen when she isn't home as a way to build trust. I finally told her I have depression and have had had it for a long time. She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 62

By Mangler - 22/06/2010 13:49 - Belgium

Today, my grandfather died. The last thing he said to me was "You smell awful." I work in a fish store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 144

You deserved it 5 246

By coldwetnose - 09/05/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 110

You deserved it 18 862

By sweet pea - 22/09/2016 21:48 - Canada - Red Lake

Today, my mom told me she wouldn't be able to leave my middle-aged brother at home for Christmas in order to meet her first grandchild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 310

You deserved it 863

Technique

By onlyintx - 19/07/2021 11:01

Today, after 3 days of vigorously scrubbing primer on the walls with a painting roller, I finally realized that simply re-wetting the roller after each stroke is the correct and easier way. Dang, can I be slow to catch on sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 887

OCD FML

By k…… - 13/10/2021 03:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I watched a tutorial video on YouTube. In the video, the guy had several apps with 50+ red notification dots on them, and it bothered me so much that I couldn’t even finish the video. I couldn’t find a single other video that could help me with my particular issue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 648

By Brrrb - 05/03/2009 05:22 - Singapore

Today, I passed by a small shop and decided to go in to look at the jeans. Before I could even step in, the shop owner told me expressionlessly, "All the sizes here are too small for you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 971

You deserved it 8 073

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 14:51 - Ireland

Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 139

You deserved it 47 980

By Anonymous - 25/08/2016 03:50 - United States - Fishers

Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and see if I was OK was my World of Warcraft guild leader after I didn't show up to raid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 447

You deserved it 1 419

By mandy16 - 04/09/2010 03:43

Today, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. The two male doctors told me they'd give me anesthesia, but when they did, I could still hear them. I heard them talking about my breasts and how flat they were for a 17 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 148

You deserved it 3 446

By kiwi - 13/02/2009 19:24 - United Kingdom

Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 255

You deserved it 5 560

By rashree - 13/02/2010 01:34 - United States

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 594

You deserved it 3 538

Gun control

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 20:01

Today, our 9 year-old son managed to shoot himself in the gut with my nail gun. According to my wife, this is completely my fault, because I ONLY kept it in my locked garage, ONLY secured in its box, ONLY completely disconnected from the power, ONLY on the highest shelf near the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 124

By Lizzielollipop816 - 18/02/2010 06:38 - United States

Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said ,"It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 046

You deserved it 3 614

The friendzone doesn't exist

By AloneAtPerkins - 28/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got friendzoned by my coworker. He'll constantly remind me that he's there for me if I ever need anything or someone to talk to, he's sexy as hell, and he pulls me in for close hugs. This is gonna be a long-ass summer. Oh, did I mention it's a communal living situation in the middle of the mountains? FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 294

By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 10:38 - United States

Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 622

You deserved it 41 415

Choosing Beggars

By Miserable person - 10/09/2019 18:00

Today, after spending 5+ hours of my life painting a portrait of someone's cat for them, I finally finished it, perfect condition, no mistakes. I was supposed to be paid 300 bucks for it. Got 50 bucks because it was too "vibrant." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 691

You deserved it 212

Bye Herbie

By Anonymous - 17/11/2020 04:56 - United States - Marietta

Today, after hours of waiting and $300 spent, I find out my transmission is dying. My car is old, so the price of rebuilding it is more than it's worth. That's money well spent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 85

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Top comments

DrNuggetcase 3

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Thursday 22 March 2012 18:57

That sucks, but at least your house is clean!

Roevera 14

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Thursday 22 March 2012 19:02

atleast he didn't just text a break up. but still. shouldn't have made you vacuum..

VorpikeII 17

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Thursday 22 March 2012 18:55

That really sucks. At least you know he won't sneeze snot all over your house.

SuperKnuckels 6

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Thursday 22 March 2012 19:04

more like atleast he did it in person and not a text or something stupid like that. sryz OP.

VorpikeII 17

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Thursday 22 March 2012 19:06

Yeah that's very true. One promise I made to myself is to never break up with anyone except in person.

beccaishereyay 11

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Thursday 22 March 2012 19:37

It's okay it probably wouldn't have worked out in the long run anyway. I could never marry someone allergic to my kitties!

domking1315 20

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Thursday 22 March 2012 20:15

At least he had the balls to do it to your face. I HATE people who break up over texts

Cad6 24

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Thursday 22 March 2012 21:01

@OP - Did you tell you're boyfriend that you cleaned your entire house for him? I bet that if you told him that, he would reconsider breaking up with you seeing how much you care for him. However, if you did do that, and he still broke up with you, that asswipe is missing out.

st0815 9

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Thursday 22 March 2012 22:25

#12: It won't make one bit of difference. She'll still think it's a FML because she shampooed the cat, or her friend had an ingrown toenail and she supported her all day, or whatever else unrelated may have happened. She might even have cleaned the house (which obviously was only necessary because her boyfriend was visiting and has no benefits of it's own).

Annpop 1

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Thursday 22 March 2012 23:31

He didnt know .. But hes still a dick! Lool

I_heart_sex 1

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Saturday 24 March 2012 3:05

Which kitty?

DrNuggetcase 3

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Thursday 22 March 2012 18:57

That sucks, but at least your house is clean!

SkoomaKi 27

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Thursday 22 March 2012 19:21

That depends who gets the house...

coried91 28

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Thursday 22 March 2012 20:48

They weren't married and she did state he went to HER house.

The_Hitdude 12

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Thursday 22 March 2012 20:50

It's not a divorce it's a break up. They're not married. Re-read the FML.

Cad6 24

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Thursday 22 March 2012 21:03

@ShoomaKi - Your an idiot.

Cad6 24

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Thursday 22 March 2012 21:06

^You're*...Wow, I just made myself look like an idiot right there. Karma has it out for me.

AwkwardPartyBear 24

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Friday 23 March 2012 0:42

I would advise putting a cat in his house while hes out. Bur at least he disnt break up with her through text... I find that a douche movement.

AwkwardPartyBear 24

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Friday 23 March 2012 0:55

*didn't

22cute 17

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Friday 23 March 2012 4:24

Thats what I'm saying - you got a clean house out of it - that's good luck! The rest? His loss only.

wlddog 14

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Friday 23 March 2012 16:11

Who wants to go into a house covered in pet hair anyway. That's probably half the reason he is breaking up. You can always look forward to being the crazy cat lady down the street.

mashfan6507 17

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Monday 21 July 2014 16:40

Eh at least you realized it and fixed it. You're smart enough :p

jane_marie 12

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Thursday 22 March 2012 19:00

Better off without him :)

mwrc8man94 1

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Thursday 22 March 2012 19:17

How do you know if she's better off without him?

kat2812 1

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Thursday 22 March 2012 19:49

because he broke up with her, he doesn't want to be with her anymore....who wants to be with someone who doesn't want them back?

nofearjenshere 12

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Thursday 22 March 2012 21:21

^ me, unfortunately.

mwrc8man94 1

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Thursday 22 March 2012 23:16

Typical women. Back to the kitchen with yee

Eiregal2 10

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Friday 23 March 2012 2:11

Aw babes ( hugs)

Roevera 14

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Thursday 22 March 2012 19:02

atleast he didn't just text a break up. but still. shouldn't have made you vacuum..

guitarbeast 22

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Thursday 22 March 2012 19:26

Well how did he know she would vacuum the house? He couldn't just say, oh don't bother cleaning or anything, I'm just coming over to break up with you

donut_gurl 8

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Thursday 22 March 2012 20:09

you should probably vacuum anyway.

traze 7

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Thursday 22 March 2012 20:48

Maybe she didn't want to look like a slut.

Drigr 9

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Thursday 22 March 2012 19:02

At least all you did was cleaned. He could've made you make him a nice dinner, then take you to the bedroom for some sexy time, then end the night with, "Oh by the way, we're done. Thanks for the dinner and sex though!"