Today, I caught my boyfriend of 8 years cheating on me. I punched him in the face, he broke up with me. And I still had to cook him an entire turkey dinner. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. He married someone, and got another girl pregnant. We were together for 8 years. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating right after I maxed out my credit card buying him everything on his Christmas list. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove to my house to break up with me. He only did so after I'd vacuumed the whole house to compensate for his cat allergies. I thought he was just coming to dinner. FML
Today, my fiancé broke it off with me on our 3-year anniversary at 12:01 a.m. on Thanksgiving morning. Guess who gets to go to family gatherings where everyone will be asking where he is. FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for "cheating" on him with his best friend. What did I do? I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek when I finally met him in person, after years of hearing about how great he is and how much we would get along. FML
Today, my bodybuilder boyfriend has been cheating on me, so I slapped him. He has such huge shoulder/neck muscle stuff, his head didn’t even move, and I dislocated 2 fingers. FML
Today, my boyfriend is pissed at me for giving everyone food poisoning right before the holiday and ruining the weekend. He’s the one that forced and berated me into using the nasty expired ingredients in his mom’s kitchen, even though I knew better. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML
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Top comments
SpideyRules 9
and WHY did you have to cook for him??
Narcentricity 1
why?
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Comments (243)
babybubz 0
did she stay for dinner?
heartagram_in_ro 0
no ******* way do both people get the choice in abortion! no one should! if you don't want to have a baby then don't freaking do it! simple as that! keep it in your pants, use protection or don't have sex! don't MURDER an innocent child because YOU have no will power! freaking evil bitches!
null_fml 11
What if I want to murder innocent children AFTER they're born? That's still cool, right? I guess I can wait a bit longer...
makaylac 0
I hope that you realize how medieval you sound. This is 2010. People are allowed to have sex and people are allowed to take care of what happens after sex however they please. If you really think you're living in a world where people will listen to you babble on about who gets a say in an abortion procedure and walk away thinking "hey, I'm not gonna get an abortion because I read not to on a site called FMYLIFE.COM", wake up, dearie. Oh yeah, and you said "****" before you censored yourself by saying "freak", stupid.
Kylias 6
@121: Get raped. Get pregnant. Have fun seeing Daddy's Little Reminder everywhere for the next 18 years.
_whoops 0
i fully agree with heartagram_in_ro. ppl have a choice they act as if they cant control themselves...even if they were raped, its not the baby fault why should it die, they can put that child up for adoption, let it have a chance to live
Kylias 6
It hurts like hell and back to give birth, or to be pregnant in general, so you get 9 months to suffer and - in the case of rape - think of what a man forced you into doing, then scream your lungs out while the thing that's caused you pain is pulled out from inside of you. Not to mention that 9 months of being physically attached to and protecting something tends to make you rather... attached to it mentally. After going through all that anguish just to keep the thing alive for so long, you get to watch some nurse carry it off to its new family and never see it again, wherein it'll probably find out that it was adopted and will probably realize that you gave it away because you never wanted to see it again, then it'll more than likely be heartbroken beyond repair for the longest time and then maybe get over it. Sure, it's a hellish life and sure they might drink themselves to death over your choice to trade them away like a trading card, but hey, at least they're alive.
heyred 11
The only way this could end without you being a pussy is that you bludgeoned him to death with a frozen turkey. Then you cooked it to destroy the evidence. But I am thinking that your meds need to be adjusted.
Frenz 0
Is this a 'lamb to the slaughter' reference? I love that short story.
null_fml 11
OMG you read that one too?! I read that years ago and couldn't remember the title, only that this comment strongly reminded me of it. I agree; it was a great story.
heyred 11
Definitely! I loved when the cops were invited in to eat the leg of lamb. Priceless!
Blatstuff 0
Wow you picked a real winner there. I am confused though. Why in the world would you feel obligated to cook this low life dinner??
Frenz 0
Did you also drive his new girlfriend over so they could have a romantic dinner? Give them money so they could go to the movies after eating that turkey? Grow a spine.
pandabear90 0
why??? pshh it's been 8 yrs and he hasn't popped the question?? he sucks
angryseatroll 5
Might I ask, how is she a pushover? You are not aware of any of the circumstances. She could have planned something far in advance and she's not a jerk, and doesn't go back on her word. Don't judge so harshly. Nearly all of your comments are harsh and insulting. It's not funny.
angryseatroll 5
I did not see her username. But my statment still stands. I do not like high and mighty people who comment on everyone's posts correcting them and who clog the threads with their inane agruments.
Kylias 6
Is that what they're calling it these days?
6969awesome 0
poison him!!!!!!!!!!