Miscellaneous: Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese...

By must be adopted - 11/02/2013 01:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 674

You deserved it 4 539

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

By BAMN2187 - 31/12/2012 03:51 - United States

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 980

You deserved it 9 050

By mydadforgetsme - 04/11/2015 17:26 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 686

You deserved it 1 466

By whatajerk - 03/01/2015 03:11 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 185

You deserved it 4 680

That one weird kid

By shellski - 21/01/2012 01:21 - United States

Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 766

You deserved it 2 329

By dadyoureacunt - 21/09/2013 13:10 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 514

You deserved it 7 461

By Grounded - 29/12/2009 18:50 - United States

Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 251

You deserved it 3 853

Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 652

You deserved it 3 394

Ironic, isn't it?

By KC. - 25/04/2012 20:06 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 479

You deserved it 8 736

By Yoooooo0 - 29/11/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 061

You deserved it 3 723

You OK hon?

By religiunatic - 13/12/2013 17:09 - Canada - Keswick

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 815

You deserved it 3 122

littlemonster94 15

Monday 11 February 2013 2:59

Ohhhh the ignorance of people sometimes

DocBastard 38

Monday 11 February 2013 3:13

Seems your father was born during the year of the ass.

Comments

havok87 11

Monday 11 February 2013 10:30

Texas..... But of course.

23Z9TZO 18

Monday 11 February 2013 11:49

I'm seeing a trend of 'outsmarted parents then they grounded me' fmls lately

upallnight11 19

Monday 11 February 2013 13:34

Ignorance is bliss.

Prolusive 5

Monday 11 February 2013 15:54

They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. To your credit, you seem to be a big exception to this rule...

BradTheBrony 19

Tuesday 12 February 2013 1:00

I think the apple fell into a river, in this case.

xRezSynn 15

Monday 11 February 2013 16:32

I'm sorry about your dad's pride and ignorance.

lekijkerd 8

Monday 11 February 2013 17:03

Oh my God, are you Lisa Simpson? 'cause your dad sounds like Homer.

erichsalvesen 13

Monday 11 February 2013 19:28

Your father is an idiot.

AdamsNumberOne 16

Tuesday 12 February 2013 4:21

sounds like he needs to grow up and learn how to react to reality

HomoIndomitus 4

Tuesday 12 February 2013 6:57

That should teach you to not enlighten others without their explicit consent.

Rogersmoonshine 7

Tuesday 12 February 2013 22:07

Your father is a retard.

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The Top

Today, after being tired of my husband acting like I’m invisible, giving more attention and affection to the dog than to me, and me going to spend a few nights at my sister’s house, he texted me, "You coming home to make dinner or what?" on the second day. It's now day 4 and he hasn’t said anything else since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 108

You deserved it 293

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 528

You deserved it 30 075

The Top

Today, I reported in for my first day at work. When I walked in they asked "Who are you?" I answered "Cassie, it's my first day today" with a huge smile. They'd meant to call and offer the job to the other Cassie they interviewed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 550

You deserved it 2 609

Today, I was fired for "blatant, inexcusable racism". My boss had asked me which website background I preferred for our company, and I said that white backgrounds are usually best. He thinks that I believe in white supremacy, and that's bad for the company's image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 967

You deserved it 2 652

Today, I learned I'm allergic to the 5-month-old kitten we got 3 days ago. It loves me, follows me everywhere and sleeps on my lap in the evenings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 340

You deserved it 3 673

Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 716

You deserved it 4 023

Today, the Vuvuzela that my brother ordered online was delivered to our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 46

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 338

You deserved it 8 612