Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Content warning
Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Not now, guys
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML
Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML
Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML
Love is love
Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML
Life is a roller coaster
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Top comments
Mole116 4
LOL WTF. That's... creepy... O_o
GoW_Chick 15
It's all about teamwork in a healthy marriage, I bet they're a really happy couple.
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Comments (209)
Scar09 0
So wat did she do with the spoon?
NaomiWilliamson 5
Thats so messed up!
1oscar1 1
Next time to g the doorbell
bubo_fml 11
When the ass-fro becomes unmanageable, one must abandon the bum comb & take drastic measures...(I would've opted for a "Soul Pick!")
starrnao 15
Strange. I say toss that fork and buy them a pair of back scratchers I realize that he had an itch, but using something people put in their mouths is wrong. You can wash it, sure. But you can't unsee something like that
bluechevy101 0
Akward
eatsleepjb 8
I usually don't comment on people's spelling errors but *awkward
supimnyancat 9
It's funny how the ad I got for this FML was a devil holding a fork.
Ballin8864 4
That's attractive. X)
DioxideSpartan 0
That's some crazy foreplay O_o
SRabbit 11
Apparently his rump roast is fork tender ;) I'm hoping it was on top of his pants, not that that isn't still gross, just less so.