Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend did the whole "break up with your boyfriend and kick him out of the house" thing from the movies. Except it's my house. She kept my stuff. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home; she'd even taken the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
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Top comments
SorrowFull 8
Turn her ass in. Theft is theft.
Midrash 5
Send her a text saying "took our naked pic n youtubed it"
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Comments (282)
Zillie 4
That's an extremely ass-tastic thing to do, but I'm curious...what did you do to piss her off so bad?
WutzButz 3
Yes, bc clearly a women is not capable of acting like a massive bitch bc she is just a massive bitch, there has to be a man who pissed her off. *eyeroll* A little advise: Some people are just assholes, male and female. They don't need a reason. Deal with it.
jaxy15 9
Sue her. She confessed that she pawned your stuff. The note should be all you need.
white16sox 19
Not sue. Turn her ass into the police, get all your things back, and get the money she got from pawning it all.
jallred254 4
Watch it all be worth 50 bucks! FYL OP!
Mirorbo 27
Well, she just made handling a small claims case a heck of a lot easier, didn't she?
marinediver1018 0
What in the world did you do to that girl?:/
GregoryStalver_fml 6
Aaaaaaand we've got the first attempt to blame the victim.
jedielf 23
I don't think that was really meant to blame the victim. That girl may have been pissed off by something OP did, but marinediver never said it was his(her? OP never specified... ) fault or that they deserved it.
GregoryStalver_fml 6
Declare it as stolen. get it back from the pawn shop.
samiiiccaa 0
she's a smart girl...sucks for you though!
Decapitation 3
Being a ******* asshole doesn't make you smart, it makes you a ******* asshole.
lizard399 0
8You can be a smart ass so why not a smart asshole >.< what do you have against assholes wanting to be smart eh!?
RomoniReed 6
There's a name for this type female. It starts with the letter after "B", ends in "unt."
abrownboy15 1
Coconut?
abrownboy15 1
Or coconunt ;)
MJJ5809 9
^^ Fail
imsosleepy 9
Did you owe her money or was she just being a jerk?
perdix 31
What have I What have I What have I done to deserve this? Everyone here assumes you are an innocent victim of crime, but I'm not so sure. Maybe your financial loss is a pittance compared to the horrible, despicable way you treated her and drove her from your life. What she did was wrong, but maybe what you did was even wronger! (CTFD, Grammar Nazis, I know that's not a word.) So? What . . . did . . . you . . . do?
fthislyfe 22
Agreed
jedielf 23
If OP did do something horrible to the girl, hopefully she would have been a bit smarter than to pawn all his stuff off without his knowledge, possibly getting herself chucked in jail. That's not the ideal way to escape that kind of relationship.
FYLDeep 26
What did he do wrong? Well, I believe he let a crazy bitch into his life for his first mistake. Who knows what he did after that?
Enslaved 38
Perdix, that's what happens when the OP dates a -WestEnd Girl that takes the -Opportunity to make lot of money, does that mean -It's a Sin? Sorry you -Petshop Boy lyric got me in a retro mood!((((:
perdix 31
Enslaved, you'd call the police -- there's a madman around. Then you go back to your bars, your temples, your massage parlors. . . Yeah, I know Murray Head is not the Pet Shop Boys, but I always thought there was a connection between "West End Girls" and "One Night in Bangkok."
Enslaved 38
Well.... Since you like that song, allow me to suggest Vinylshakerz One Night In Bangkok's video on YouTube! Look for the one with the strippers. (: enjoy!
perdix 31
Thanks, that was great. Liked the bathtub scenes ;)
WutzButz 3
AAAnd we have the typical females (before you start, I'm a woman) who rather defend a women with shitty behavior than admit that there are women out there who are just assholes. Surely it must be the men's fault, cheating lying assholes they all are, right? Do people like you even realize that you are doing the same feminists complain men do?
Daralea 21
Except perdix is a male. A MANLY male of MANess! So yes, HE is doing what feminists complain MEN do.
Hamcons 1
The pawn shop can get in trouble as well.
cyrusyoman 5
how?
brianjman14 23
Not really. The pawn shop was just doing their job.