Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend did the whole "break up with your boyfriend and kick him out of the house" thing from the movies. Except it's my house. She kept my stuff. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home; she'd even taken the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
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Top comments
SorrowFull 8
Turn her ass in. Theft is theft.
Midrash 5
Send her a text saying "took our naked pic n youtubed it"
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Comments (282)
xSynergY 8
Somehow get a good friend to date her and pull the same shit.
Mrsa7x 1
what did you do to piss her off so badly??
HU4L188 0
If she pawned it then just go to tge pawn shop and get it back. They dont put some things for sale for a month in case it was stolen
Gnrldisarray 0
Aw, that sucks... I feel your pain, man.
frankwolf86 0
kill her
Jewdazking23 5
someone should lock you up immediately!!!!
odexy 12
My father did this to my mother when they broke up, actually. He pawned all her furniture. She was able to get back most of what he stole, but the pawn shop had already sold a few of her things so she couldn't get everything back. Sucked.
afulks78 11
Awe that sucks
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
No one has considered that maybe the bitch is just what she looks like... a thief!! Make a list of all she took cause she probably couldn't pawn everything, place your own value on it and call the police, show them the smart note she left behind, along with another sample of her writing ... then take the worthless thief to court.
brianjman14 23
What a ******* moron for leaving a note. Report her and show the note and you're goos.
brianjman14 23
Good* Sorry.
lollipop77_fml 6
There's never smoke without fire. If you treated her like crap or cheated on her then ydi! However, if you didn't then she's halfways psycho! I say halfways because she chose to pawn your stuff and not outright sell it, thereby you have the chance to get it back, but she's going to make you pay!!
annajane 0
Actually, if you use a magnifying glass on paper or mulch, it smokes, but as far as I could tell there was no fire.