Work: Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing...

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 198

You deserved it 9 920

Work

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 11:49 - United States

Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 872

You deserved it 64 791

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 540

You deserved it 3 739

Set the scene

By NJ. - 24/01/2009 10:41 - United States

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 212

You deserved it 2 439

By oneloveliz - 17/09/2017 23:15

Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 454

You deserved it 1 560

Wait, what?

By Sally - 24/07/2009 09:04 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 341

You deserved it 4 767

Roommates from hell

By why me? - 11/03/2014 07:21 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 719

You deserved it 3 356

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 400

You deserved it 19 715

By Anonymous - 15/12/2015 18:10 - Germany - Munich

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 945

You deserved it 2 593

By ShanghaiSam - 17/05/2017 04:00 - China - Shanghai

Today, I found out half of the staff at work have been spreading rumours I'm sleeping with my boss. The other half are spreading rumours I'm sleeping with my subordinate. In reality, every night I go home to an apartment so empty that I don't even have condiments, to sleep alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 190

You deserved it 372

By Moeswifey - 24/10/2010 17:11 - United States

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 407

You deserved it 4 536

oicu812xD 16

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:25

At least they didn't ruin the dream by waking you up

JoeGrant 12

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:24

It's an omen, and I'm sure your co-workers will laugh and so will you. Don't worry so much!

Comments

JoeGrant 12

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:24

It's an omen, and I'm sure your co-workers will laugh and so will you. Don't worry so much!

LeFrogDog 27

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:44

sounds like a wet dream

jessBeAqueen 13

Saturday 20 July 2013 17:16

no sounds like a great opportunity for a worldstar video!

NakedandScared 8

Saturday 20 July 2013 17:31

Well you don't seem very nice.

Crometer 23

Saturday 20 July 2013 19:13

That's what I was thinking, unless he works with a bunch of rude people.

oicu812xD 16

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:25

At least they didn't ruin the dream by waking you up

cottoncandymango 17

Saturday 20 July 2013 19:23

Sleeping on the job, eh?

retyi43 14

Saturday 20 July 2013 22:57

sleeping AND wet-dreaming on the job...

salazara 10

Sunday 21 July 2013 2:00

You're Fired

deepunder 17

Tuesday 23 July 2013 6:52

U know what to do. Go back to sleep

anon80214 15

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:26

You won't be living that one down anytime soon. FYL

Uramonkey 11

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:26

Maybe you should put your mind and your sleep elsewhere when you are at work...

SomeRandomGuy15 18

Saturday 20 July 2013 22:02

Where would you put 'sleep'?

arsenicalhumor 30

Sunday 21 July 2013 0:11

I put it in the fridge to keep it nice and cool.

lbrown66 12

Sunday 21 July 2013 2:15

Who puts sleep in the fridge? It goes hard, you need to keep it in the cupboard!

clemsi 20

Sunday 21 July 2013 8:48

to hell with both of those suggestions....I put mine in the freezer so I can save it to pass the winner months quickly

Kelsey_709 9

Monday 22 July 2013 2:03

He said "break room", so OP was probably just napping on his break. Doesn't mean he was slacking.

peterubino 2

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:26

Was ur **** outta ur pants

Uramonkey 11

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:29

Lets just hope he didn't have a wet dream and woke up with sticky pants. His coworkers wouldn't let him live that one down for sure ;)

darwinism 30

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:41

Sounds like yours was during English class # 5

Uramonkey 11

Saturday 20 July 2013 18:34

Seems like wet dreams are too taboo for FML with all these comments being thumbed down. It's ok girls, they are only natural ;)

ygdrassil 17

Saturday 20 July 2013 20:12

Nothing is too taboo for FML.

BlueFlatts 20

Saturday 20 July 2013 22:22

Taboo list: •Bad English •Bad jokes •Bad puns •Pointless comments. Correct?

drewflav 17

Sunday 21 July 2013 6:05

49 - you're missing one more on your list. Thumbing down DocBastard.

iAlissa 34

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:27

Dreams make reality suck.

deepunder 17

Tuesday 23 July 2013 6:54

Like the one where I was driving a car during an apocalypse. Loved the dream since I was driving a car before I got a permit.

GAeroNKissR 26

Monday 30 November 2015 3:07

not if you make your dreams reality...

HortonThelephant 15

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:27

Hopefully your pillow talk was at least good enough to pique the attention of a lady coworker or two ;)

HortonThelephant 15

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:30

Strike my previous comment if you'd please. I can just envision it going something like: "Hey there girl. I brought the spicy chorizo to kick up your night" or something equally terrible...