Work: Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing...

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 242

You deserved it 9 956

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 11:49 - United States

Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 885

You deserved it 64 862

Set the scene

By NJ. - 24/01/2009 10:41 - United States

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 288

You deserved it 2 459

By Anonymous - 07/06/2012 17:41 - United States - Oregon City

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 232

You deserved it 6 732

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 303

Mixing it up

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:20 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 865

You deserved it 48 947

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 823

You deserved it 4 735

By MissCan'tKeepAJob - 23/08/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 142

You deserved it 57 688

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 1 929

Classic

By Singleagain - 10/01/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 144

By sleepytime - 05/10/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 709

You deserved it 32 956

oicu812xD 16

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:25

At least they didn't ruin the dream by waking you up

JoeGrant 12

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:24

It's an omen, and I'm sure your co-workers will laugh and so will you. Don't worry so much!

Comments

JoeGrant 12

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:24

It's an omen, and I'm sure your co-workers will laugh and so will you. Don't worry so much!

LeFrogDog 27

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:44

sounds like a wet dream

jessBeAqueen 13

Saturday 20 July 2013 17:16

no sounds like a great opportunity for a worldstar video!

NakedandScared 8

Saturday 20 July 2013 17:31

Well you don't seem very nice.

Crometer 23

Saturday 20 July 2013 19:13

That's what I was thinking, unless he works with a bunch of rude people.

oicu812xD 16

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:25

At least they didn't ruin the dream by waking you up

cottoncandymango 17

Saturday 20 July 2013 19:23

Sleeping on the job, eh?

retyi43 14

Saturday 20 July 2013 22:57

sleeping AND wet-dreaming on the job...

salazara 10

Sunday 21 July 2013 2:00

You're Fired

deepunder 17

Tuesday 23 July 2013 6:52

U know what to do. Go back to sleep

anon80214 15

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:26

You won't be living that one down anytime soon. FYL

Uramonkey 11

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:26

Maybe you should put your mind and your sleep elsewhere when you are at work...

SomeRandomGuy15 18

Saturday 20 July 2013 22:02

Where would you put 'sleep'?

arsenicalhumor 30

Sunday 21 July 2013 0:11

I put it in the fridge to keep it nice and cool.

lbrown66 12

Sunday 21 July 2013 2:15

Who puts sleep in the fridge? It goes hard, you need to keep it in the cupboard!

clemsi 20

Sunday 21 July 2013 8:48

to hell with both of those suggestions....I put mine in the freezer so I can save it to pass the winner months quickly

Kelsey_709 9

Monday 22 July 2013 2:03

He said "break room", so OP was probably just napping on his break. Doesn't mean he was slacking.

peterubino 2

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:26

Was ur **** outta ur pants

Uramonkey 11

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:29

Lets just hope he didn't have a wet dream and woke up with sticky pants. His coworkers wouldn't let him live that one down for sure ;)

darwinism 30

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:41

Sounds like yours was during English class # 5

Uramonkey 11

Saturday 20 July 2013 18:34

Seems like wet dreams are too taboo for FML with all these comments being thumbed down. It's ok girls, they are only natural ;)

ygdrassil 17

Saturday 20 July 2013 20:12

Nothing is too taboo for FML.

BlueFlatts 20

Saturday 20 July 2013 22:22

Taboo list: •Bad English •Bad jokes •Bad puns •Pointless comments. Correct?

drewflav 17

Sunday 21 July 2013 6:05

49 - you're missing one more on your list. Thumbing down DocBastard.

iAlissa 34

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:27

Dreams make reality suck.

deepunder 17

Tuesday 23 July 2013 6:54

Like the one where I was driving a car during an apocalypse. Loved the dream since I was driving a car before I got a permit.

GAeroNKissR 26

Monday 30 November 2015 3:07

not if you make your dreams reality...

HortonThelephant 15

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:27

Hopefully your pillow talk was at least good enough to pique the attention of a lady coworker or two ;)

HortonThelephant 15

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:30

Strike my previous comment if you'd please. I can just envision it going something like: "Hey there girl. I brought the spicy chorizo to kick up your night" or something equally terrible...