Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML
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Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I was working by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated, I started to moan and say dirty things… Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
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Top comments
oicu812xD 16
At least they didn't ruin the dream by waking you up
JoeGrant 12
It's an omen, and I'm sure your co-workers will laugh and so will you. Don't worry so much!
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Comments (82)
graffitied_love 20
One of those dreams where it's too good to be true :(
perdix 29
I saw the OPs location and got all excited imagining the hot roommate making jambalaya, boudin and boiling up a mess o' crawfish! What's wrong with me?
perdix 29
#27, Who dat?!?! Let's get in my pirogue and row through the bayou to the honky tonk to hear some nice Zydeco music. Laissez les bon temps rouler!
darwinism 30
I've heard that dreams mean the opposite. So, go home, strap on an apron and cook your housemate a meal, and see if she pulls you into her room.
BlueFlatts 20
Maybe it's because I'm a guy but flipping the genders doesn't seem as appetizing.
SlapAndTickle 20
Flipping genders? I hope you are insinuating that only a woman should cook. A man that can cook and will cook once in a while for me is one of the hottest things ever. And wearing just an apron? YUM! That's right, take out that pencil and paper to take some notes. Having issues with your girlfriend/wife try that and see what happens! Be sure to know how to decently cook first though, pretty sure she doesn't want food poisoning.
AngelLovesDerby 10
Damn doesn't that suck when your dreams are better than reality.
carecow 16
Man up and make it reality!
jabi3jabi3 8
You've got to get a raise now..
retyi43 14
I've had this dream so many times... I mean, along the same lines, that is. :(
perdix 29
I'll bet the talking part was bad enough, but it could have been worse. They could have let you sleep through the tongue flicking, the finger crooking, the pelvic thrusting, the climax and the apologizing for being too quick. And then posted the video on YouTube.
courtz94 24
We all have dreams that are odd. Pay attention to what it's telling you. Either way, it'll be okay.
smc3106 25
I'm pretty sure that it's telling him 2 things: 1. He's hungry & 2. He wants to sleep with his roommate..
buddy51 23
Count your blessings, OP, at least it wasn't a wet dream..... or was it? FYL!!!