Today, I was late for a meeting. The meeting hall door was made... - FML

By Ahsan - Pakistan - Multan

Today, I was late for a meeting. The meeting hall door was made of glass, and it said pull, but in my rush, I pushed the door so hard that it shattered into small pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1374

You deserved it

743

Tweet

Share

Our house, in the middle of our street

Sorry…

Cake is everything

By Anonymous - Belgium - Gent

Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23733

You deserved it

1759

Tweet

Share

By Xena

Today, I was at our hotel waiting for my husband to finish his shower so we could have our anniversary dinner, when hotel security forcefully removed me from the building because they do not allow "prostitutes" to look for clients on their property. They thought I was a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4610

You deserved it

609

Tweet

Share

By Gold diggerzzzzzzz - 15/3/2021 13:01 - United Kingdom

Is this guy Hugh Hefner?

Today, my dad is getting married for the 4th time. First it was my mom, then as they got older, he married a woman 10 years his junior, then his third wife was my age and 28 years his junior. Now at the grand old age of 64, he is marrying a 22 year old, 42 years his junior, almost 2 decades younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1099

You deserved it

84

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Lemont

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39593

You deserved it

24221

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9639

You deserved it

25888

Tweet

Share

By JellicleCat - United Kingdom - London

Today, I met the man of my dreams. Insane click. He’s just as in love with me. He’s also got a condition I research in my job. It’s literally unethical for us to date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2369

You deserved it

307

Tweet

Share

By a-mishunderstanding

Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25005

You deserved it

2838

Tweet

Share

By unlucky - South Africa

Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML

I agree, your life sucks

20088

You deserved it

64912

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Rugby

Dating is hell

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61356

You deserved it

5186

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Colombia - Bogot?

Any damage? Who nose?

Today, it's the seventh day after my nose job. I was taking something out of a box and pulled too hard. I punched myself in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1419

You deserved it

631

Tweet

Share

By notsolucky - Canada

Today, I woke up at 11:11am. I was happy because I thought it was a sign that it was going to be a good day. I then realized that I was over an hour late for a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12914

You deserved it

31205

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - Czech Republic

Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his tazer at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tazed him for acting aggressively. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30606

You deserved it

1742

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I spent five hours in the back seat of a car with two dogs. Both had been sprayed by a skunk earlier in the day. One had a gas problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1639

You deserved it

182

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - Australia - Mittagong

Today, I had to give a speech as part of my campaign for school captain. I was rather happy with it and so I told another candidate my speech. Apparently it was a good idea as minutes later that same candidate stole my entire speech, leaving me looking like a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10909

You deserved it

37678

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Dell Rapids

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44058

You deserved it

7240

Tweet

Share

By twistedelegance

Today, I failed my driving test, and didn't get my great new job that a buddy helped me get. He got fired, and they won't hire me because he recommended me, regardless of how qualified for the job and how great the interview went. He called to tell me an hour before my driving test. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1655

You deserved it

138

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Ajax

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35968

You deserved it

2145

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was feeling confident enough to approach a guy by asking the bartender if I could buy him a refill of whatever he was drinking. He was drinking water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28809

You deserved it

5729

Tweet

Share

By f.m.

Today, I took my driving test. I was nervous, but I thought I followed the rules of the road pretty well. My tester ended up failing me for "backing out too slowly". FML

I agree, your life sucks

3172

You deserved it

277

Tweet

Share

By tired - United States - Boston

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34485

You deserved it

3775

Tweet

Share

By conspicuous - United States - Baton Rouge

Making an entrance

Today, I was late for class. I have extreme social anxiety, so I quietly slipped into the huge, packed auditorium, trying to be as quiet as possible. When I was almost to my seat, I accidentally kicked a teacher's coffee down the steps. The entire class looked at me and some clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26532

You deserved it

3872

Tweet

Share

By That guy - 15/10/2020 17:01

So you had a bad day…

Today, I woke up early for work and spent 30 minutes frantically looking for my keys. I had to take a 30-minute Uber ride to work, then drove an hour in the company truck, only to be stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

883

You deserved it

102

Tweet

Share

By mook05 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of 6 months is not actually on vacation with her cousin but is moving in with her fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35277

You deserved it

3164

Tweet

Share

By whysheheartless - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43767

You deserved it

3039

Tweet

Share

By 00anon00 - 2/7/2020 02:01

Animalistic

Today, I was fired from my local animal shelter. I was a volunteer and am currently in school for veterinary technology. My education made the paid staff at the shelter feel threatened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1589

You deserved it

139

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55000

You deserved it

4392

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Smithville

Today, I went to my cousin's house. I left my bag on the couch as my aunt instructed, only for my cousin to take it and throw it into the swimming pool. My laptop, textbooks and notes were soaked. My exam is in a week, and my aunt won't punish her perfect little angel. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31212

You deserved it

1789

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13379

You deserved it

80876

Tweet

Share

By MadMax - United States

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42376

You deserved it

5325

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27969

You deserved it

3743

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Pennies From Heaven

Today, I bought some shoes, but pissed off the lady working at the store by returning them 5 minutes later. She yelled at me and ripped my receipt in half, everyone in the store watched as she threw a handful of pennies at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1526

You deserved it

457

Tweet

Share

By anx133 - China

Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22432

You deserved it

3158

Tweet

Share

By Parenting... - United States - Arlington

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

I agree, your life sucks

40935

You deserved it

4535

Tweet

Share

By fatass - United States - Kearney

Today, I received several pairs of panties in the mail that I'd ordered online. When I opened the box, I was shocked because every pair was basically huge granny-panties. I was sure none would fit properly, but I tried them on to be sure. They fit perfectly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31433

You deserved it

7847

Tweet

Share

By Shame - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35013

You deserved it

3590

Tweet

Share

By Lyle - 13/12/2020 01:07 - United Kingdom

Fundies say the darndest things

Today, after my father in law upset my 6-year-old son by telling him creating a world in Minecraft is a sin, because only god is allowed to create worlds so all Minecraft players will burn in hell one day, it's been 5 days since he's slept right because he’s scared the Devil will burn him if he falls asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1429

You deserved it

91

Tweet

Share

By Thanks Honey - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks

56487

You deserved it

5177

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37776

You deserved it

3681

Tweet

Share

By MadameM - United States

Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41995

You deserved it

9713

Tweet

Share

By grapes - United States - Westfield

Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22218

You deserved it

1877

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7832899 - Friday 16 August 2019 0:02

I bet you made a smashing impression on your colleagues.

By what | 1

#7832893 - Thursday 15 August 2019 23:38

Did they appreciate your hustle?

COMMENTS

By what | 1

#7832893 - Thursday 15 August 2019 23:38

Did they appreciate your hustle?

Reply

Ahsan | 9

#7833187 - Friday 16 August 2019 21:52

They were all stunned, looking at me like statues 😂

By slowhandjp | 16

#7832898 - Friday 16 August 2019 0:00

How much do you have to cough up to get the door repaired?

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7832899 - Friday 16 August 2019 0:02

I bet you made a smashing impression on your colleagues.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7832919 - Friday 16 August 2019 1:31

I’ll bet the meeting was stagnating until you made your breakthrough!

Reply

BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7833159 - Friday 16 August 2019 19:56

Women crack the glass ceiling, while us guys just wreck glass doors.