Today, I came home after ten hours at work to find my unemployed wife and 4 kids sprawled out watching TV waiting for me to get home and cook for them. I had to wash all the dishes first because they didn't feel like getting up or helping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to pandemonium: the kids screaming, the house a mess, wet laundry, no food made, and my wife in her office. After cleaning, making dinner, putting everything away, and getting the kids to sleep, I grabbed myself a beer. My wife saw it and said, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, after a full shift at work, I got home to my boyfriend playing CoD, a full sink, crap all over the table, a full cat box, dirty bathroom, no laundry done and the kids at my parents' house. He yelled at me because the place was a mess. FML
Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML
Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML
Today, due to an emergency, I ended up working for 18 hours instead of 13. I'd texted my unemployed wife to let her know this was unavoidable, but when I got home she blamed me like she thought I planned this in advance, yelled at me, and my dinner was Heinz tomato soup I had to heat up myself. FML
Today, I worked a full day and then went to a three-hour class. I got home at 9 PM, and before the door closed I heard, "There's a sink full of dishes for you." There are three able-bodied men in the house, all of whom got here hours ago and created that sink full of dishes. FML
Today, I got home at 6:30 after a 12-hour shift. I sat down on the sofa, and my wife immediately stomped in and said, "Why are you sitting doing nothing? Get up, there's a million things to do." FML
Today, after a long talk with the kids, I finally got all the chores around the house done early so we could have a fun family weekend. My wife decided to be a wet blanket and insisted we needed to deep clean the already clean kitchen. Three arguments later, everyone is sulking, and I'm working in the kitchen alone. FML
Today, I got home at 7 after a long, stressful 12-hour shift. The second I walked through the door, my wife said, "Can you hurry up and make dinner? We're all starving." This happens all the damn time. FML
Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML
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Top comments
foolishworkerbee 0
Grow a pair and tell them to take some responsibility.
Spierdalaj 7
Then don't do it until they get off their asses and help :/
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Comments (175)
niub777 0
so y dont u also not do ur responsibilities?
IGotARedNose 0
YDI for being a chubby chaser and overfeeding you kids. fatass lazy *****. and i know i dont know if their fat or not so if anybody wants to call me out on that i really dont care
rinzlerkitty94 31
Where in that fml did it say any of them were fat?
TexasGirl24 15
You're so edgy and cool Oh wait
nzl_fml 0
Lazy bastards. If you're the unemployed one in your household you should be doing the chores.
storyofthemonth 0
nz is awesome bro.
SheTheOtaku 21
Yup. I generally clean the kitchen because my mom is single and has a fulltime job. Even my jerk of a little brother knows that he has to do something.
troubleinharlem 0
I wouldn't have done it. let them learn the hard way!
Fangtasmagoria 5
you should have turned around & left, and gone out for dinner by yourself. YDI for letting lazy people take advantage of you.
madmax82988 0
let them starve imo
term3186 1
Damn straight. Ever since grade school my dinner menu consisted of whatever the hell I fixed myself. If they won't get it themselves, they aren't hungry enough. (Assuming they're older than 10). Fix yourself something, eat it, and let them know they can do the same. (Middle finger optional).
ScooterScott 0
Boner
Damian3395 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Since your wife is unemployed, she should rather be taking care of the children, cooking, and cleaning the house. She shouldn't have a job anyways, thats not her role in a family. Plus you should of told her that you deserved some funt time in bed with her for all the hard work or devorice her.
your_face 15
Can we get something straight right now? No one, male or female, ever DESERVES "fun time." It's not a human right. It's something most people enjoy, but no one is entitled to it. When you have to pressure someone into having "fun time" with you because you feel you've earned it, it takes away the fun. "Fun time" isn't something you do because you deserve it, it's something you do when you and your partner are both in the mood.
mnblizzard 0
Are you serious? really? She feels bad because she lost her job? WOW
Cinn_fml 23
@Damian3395 - Did you really just say that the woman shouldn't have a job because it's not her role in a family? I agreed with the bit about how if she is unemployed then she should be doing the housework, but she should also be allowed to have a job if she so choses. Also, you're suggesting that if she doesn't sleep with him because he works so hard he should divorce her? No, what he should do is make her actually wake up and realise that she needs to do some work, be it around the house or at an actual job, she needs to set a good example for their kids.
AwkwardKarma 18
What gives you the ******* right to say that a woman can't work. Misogynistic asshole. I've met woman manlier than you. I've met women who can lift more than the average male. It shouldn't be about gender. It's about skill. There's also the intellectual side. Did you know that a great percentage of females are more successful than males in elementary through middle school? ******* idiot. We need to get rid of people like you who contribute nothing to society and only overpopulated the planet.
cindy1973 0
hmm I am a housewife, and if i were in your shoes i would likely be single, I would not put up with that for one minute, when my husband comes home supper is on the table, the house is cleaned up and the laundry is done, theres nothing he needs to do but relax on the couch and spend time with the family...depending on whether or not your kids are old enough to fend for themselves you should have gone to the kitchen, made yourself (and the kids unless they are teens) a sandwich and called it good and let her wallow in her filth until she decided to get off her ass and clean it up, it wasnt your responsibility.
StrickenAza34 4
marry me.
StrickenAza34 4
unless your fat, then go on a diet, THEN Marry me.
SheTheOtaku 21
Internet five!
DJuan 0
a good ass whipping will clear the haze for the kids... as far as the wife.. I'm afraid ur too late sir. I feel for u homie
caremedy 6
Truthfully, if she hasn't always been like this, your wife is probably depressed. Please get her to see a therapist and/or doctor as soon as possible. One of the top signs I had when I was depressed was the inability to care about anything. The kids have no excuse... better start bustin' balls with them. You're a parent; there is NO excuse for them not to get up and help you if you ask.
Jayodi 0
Actually, clinical depression is an excuse. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain, and it causes all sorts of problems, such as apathy, loss or gain of energy, loss or gain of appetite, increased or decreased sleep, anxiety, sickness (yes, it can cause actual illness), and thoughts of suicide. And depression isn't something you can just stand up and say "K, I'm done with this, I'm going to go to bed at a decent hour, get out more" etc. It just doesn't work that way, although it's hypothesized that sunning will help lesser the severity. I would know, I'm on anti-depressants, which fix that chemical imbalance in the brain (basically, what depression is, is your brain gives off a chemical called serotonin, which keeps you feeling happy. When you're depressed, the amount of serotonin your brain produces is significantly reduced. Anti-depressants cause your brain to produce more serotonin in order to help you feel better.)