Gimme a break

By anon - 04/04/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I came home to pandemonium: the kids screaming, the house a mess, wet laundry, no food made, and my wife in her office. After cleaning, making dinner, putting everything away, and getting the kids to sleep, I grabbed myself a beer. My wife saw it and said, "You're kidding, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 166

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By justkillm3 - 13/05/2010 04:07 - United States

Today, I came home after ten hours at work to find my unemployed wife and 4 kids sprawled out watching TV waiting for me to get home and cook for them. I had to wash all the dishes first because they didn't feel like getting up or helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 188

You deserved it 9 143

Hey how are you?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 216

You deserved it 4 359

By Anonymous - 24/11/2018 17:30

Today, I came home from a long business trip. I walked in the front door to see my house was a complete mess. The first thing my son said was, "Did you bring pizza?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 838

You deserved it 355

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 15:00

Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 2 662

What happened?

By ....ew - 05/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 169

By rileynautumn - 13/06/2011 19:04 - United States

Today, after a full shift at work, I got home to my boyfriend playing CoD, a full sink, crap all over the table, a full cat box, dirty bathroom, no laundry done and the kids at my parents' house. He yelled at me because the place was a mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 232

You deserved it 9 694

A quiet place, please

By Anonymous - 12/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 426

Quality family time

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, after a long talk with the kids, I finally got all the chores around the house done early so we could have a fun family weekend. My wife decided to be a wet blanket and insisted we needed to deep clean the already clean kitchen. Three arguments later, everyone is sulking, and I'm working in the kitchen alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 127

By :/ - 20/02/2011 18:44 - Canada

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 061

You deserved it 109 698

What happened?

By nayahbear24 - 27/08/2014 22:52 - United States - Trenton

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 210

You deserved it 3 926

poopface82 19

Thursday 4 April 2024 17:09

Blink twice if you’re married to my ex-wife.

Hangryko 31

Thursday 4 April 2024 17:49

It sounds like she's overwhelmed. Are you consistently putting in your 50% of parenting and housework?

Comments

poopface82 19

Thursday 4 April 2024 17:09

Blink twice if you’re married to my ex-wife.

Hangryko 31

Thursday 4 April 2024 17:49

It sounds like she's overwhelmed. Are you consistently putting in your 50% of parenting and housework?

Thaylok 17

Thursday 4 April 2024 18:34

marriage is 100/100 not 50/50. I agree with you. It sounds like he needs to contribute more than just a paycheck to the marriage.

Iamthebanzai22 21

Thursday 4 April 2024 19:14

Uh... He just explained how he cleaned the house, fed the kids etc and this is your response? Even if she was overwhelmed, the very least she could have done was to say 'Thank you'. Not lay a guilt trip on him for taking a break. Also, I accidentally clicked the thumbs-up button and now I can't undo it.

Nico97 3

Saturday 6 April 2024 1:17

so he picks up the slack and gets yelled at? how is that fair? she doesn’t contribute she doesn’t complain

Rake 16

Sunday 7 April 2024 10:31

Some context is missing. Why did she oppose you having a beer? Because she think you didn't do enough? Because you have a drinking problem? Because she in general against alcohol?