By Anonymous - 4/1/2021 07:58

Missing the point

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I checked his phone. The reason I did so was to get his mum’s number so I could arrange to send her his Xmas present in a parcel, as a surprise as I wouldn't be with him. He found out when he asked me how I managed it, and I told him honestly. FML
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  Seeya55  |  31

Definitely could have just asked. "Hey can I have your mum's address, I'd love to send her a Christmas card!" Done.

Also too, even if the BF had nothing to hide; Just because everyone knows you're on the toilet, doesn't mean the door has to be open.. I'd say it's been a good chunk of years to know by now that phones are personal.

Heck, what if he had info on there for a gift he got you and he freaked out thinking you saw? Maybe not deserving to be broken up about, but we only know this one story. Maybe he has trust issues with you or it's happened to him before?

  sarsuela  |  25

She didn't want her address, she asked for a phone number.
"Hey, can I have your mom's number?"
"Sure, what for?"
"Um, to send her a parcel..."
"Why would you send her a parcel when I could take it to her?"
"Because it is really your gift as a surprise? Surprise!"
Doesn't work, does it?
If checking a phone number is such a betrayal he was probably looking for an excuse to break up anyway, otherwise he'd explain his phone is as personal as a diary for him and such behaviour is not acceptable to him. (E.g. for me my phone is a tool and if someone borrowed it it would be no big deal.)

  Seeya55  |  31

The end was to send a gift, either way, getting the number to get a gift sent or asking for an address leads to the same outcome.

Could have also said "Hey could I get your mom's number, just incase I can't get in touch with you/your phone while you're there?" OR "Incase you call from that number and I don't ignore it by accident!".

Please, tell me more how either of those scenarios aren't possible.

Not in complete disagreement though of his reaction. Maybe it was over the top, maybe not. Maybe he has issues. Maybe they have only been dating short term. Long term and this happened, probably was an out; like you stated.

By  coius  |  23

I’m glad my wife and I respect each other’s privacy. I don’t look on her phone without her permission, and she doesn’t look on mine without my permission. And we honor when they say “No”. Then again, these days you need a lot of faith to do that considering how many people cheat (my ex-cheated on me then filed divorce against me but I screwed her and took everything). My current wife, no doubts about it. She wouldn’t cheat on me. Then again theres a complex history of trust involved in that.

By  Yummi_913  |  15

For him to freak out that badly, he probably had something pretty shit in his phone he didn't want you to see. People like to act like "but you violated his privacy!" but at the end of the day he made that his hill to die on and threw your entire relationship away.... which doesn't make sense when it could have easily just ended at a conversation about boundaries. It's a serious overreaction on his part (especially considering you didn't snoop and were actually doing something FOR HIM). It also just goes to show how little he thinks of your relationship vs how protective he is of whatever is on his phone. This adult couldn't just tell you "I understand what your intentions were but it makes me very uncomfortable so could you please not do that again?"

By  Levi2411  |  39

I can't say I agree with most of the comments on here, my fiance and I are allowed on each other's phones whenever we want. However that's just our relationship, if it was a big deal in your relationship, you should have asked. My disagreement with the other's stems from the fact that regardless if you should have asked, his reaction was an extreme one. Most issues, except unforgivable acts, can be discussed before deciding to end a relationship. He should have talked to you about the issue first and not freaked out, the reaction is questionable, despite what the others are saying.