Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML
Today, I was at work and a lady came in with a cake - I work as a nurse in a pediatrics ward. While we were eating the cake, she told us she used her breast milk instead of normal milk. Now all of us nurses have to be tested. FML
Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML
Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year-old sister passed out on the couch. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML
Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall. My mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked, "TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK!" FML
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Top comments
crazytwinsmom 25
When I started reading this, I was expecting pot brownies not boob brownies.
Welshite 40
But I'm not even related to these cows! *spits out milk*
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Comments (186)
perdix 31
Don't you want some milk to wash that down? But that could end the friendship!
caligirllife 11
The Brest milk is probably what made them so amazing
RaptorMARAUDER 9
Well.... How were they?
mimiminx 23
If you have a baby that is very premature and the mothers milk hasn't come in yet, it's very common for breast milk to be given to it from a milk bank which is made up of donations. There is nothing 'gross' about it, it supports and provides the best nutrition for the little preemie. I think the problem with feeding another's baby comes with the thought of physically nursing it. It's quite an intimate thing which develops a strong bond so it may be seen as a bit odd to do it with a baby that's not your own.
qwils 11
A lot of women cook with breast milk after their pregnancy. There is nothing wrong with it.
DasHaas 9
While it's not nice to feed people things without their consent, you have to wonder how many people would complain if she'd said "I made those with soy milk" instead. Considering it's baked in the oven and perfectly natural there's nothing dangerous about it. The only thing is society has an irrational aversion to breast milk. It's interesting to think about why that is, because the reason is simpler than you think and that makes it such a shame. (And yeah you'll probably taste the difference... breastmilk is much sweeter than cow's milk, so I'm not surprised the brownies turned out well. My girlfriend made breastmilk pancakes and those were great as well.)
amisenho 11
I'm imagining the shame comes from two possibilities: 1) Breasts are sexually emphasized; or 2) It's odd to think of someone's body parts (meat, milk, what have you) as being associated with us from a social/cultural standpoint. Considering that a lot of people have an aversion to public breastfeeding (I didn't want to open that can of worms, but I need to here), we'd have to ask why they believe this. It's certainly not on-beat with pulling out your schlong in a crowded mall. As mentioned, it's this idea that breasts are a sexual entity. While breasts aren't necessary for conception (in terms of the act of sex itself), they still carry some cultural stigma (which can easily be found covered in plastic wrap in a magazine rack at the grocery store). In this regard, we associate any sexual entity as something to be kept hidden; here, breasts were a victim of marketing, and with that, cultural taboo. Secondly, consuming something that came from a dead person, let alone a live person, carries a social stigma simply from the idea that we are somehow violating someone's privacy, even in the afterlife. I've read about some cultures that consume a part of their deceased family member as a ritual for keeping a part of that person physically inside them (think Meg putting her hair in the pie she made for Brian, except that Meg would be dead). Knowingly consuming something from someone that we would only see as an acquaintance (rather than an intimate partner) would, of course, strike us as horrid or shameful because of the fear that we've violated or trespassed someone's body. On the same token, we'd consider it a trespassing of our own bodies, as someone else's body part (which we still associate with that person, albeit severed) has invaded our person. This, again, brings us back to how we see that person. Is it a significant other? Is it a direct/indirect family member? Is it an acquaintance? How do we perceive/respect our bodies without feeling that it has been violated/invaded? I'd imagine something that contains a wife's breast milk would taste a little better than something that contains dear, old mother. In any case, doesn't matter; had brownies.
DotDootyDot 17
I'm no vegan or vegetarian, but I think it's incredibly silly this repulsion we have for our own milk. We can drink the milk of all kinds of animal, but human milk is a no-no? Pfft.
FalconWhitaker 20
You know, while I agree that breast milk is more logical for us to drink than cow's milk, things that squick people out aren't always logical, and a lot of people find the idea of consuming a person's breast milk to be squicky. So even though I think society needs to stop freaking out about breast milk, I think it's also kinda rude for her to just surprise you with it like that for giggles or whatever.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
People who act all offended and find that gross make me laugh. You don't mind drinking milk coming from a cow's udder but you're horrified at the idea of milk coming from another human being? Where is the logic in that? Breast milk will always be healthier than milk from another specie.
Muttley9 13
Just more fatty and has natural antibodies in it, but the heat denatures the protein in it... so goodbye antibodies :)