Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML
Today, I was at work and a lady came in with a cake - I work as a nurse in a pediatrics ward. While we were eating the cake, she told us she used her breast milk instead of normal milk. Now all of us nurses have to be tested. FML
Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML
Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year-old sister passed out on the couch. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML
Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall. My mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked, "TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK!" FML
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Top comments
crazytwinsmom 25
When I started reading this, I was expecting pot brownies not boob brownies.
Welshite 40
But I'm not even related to these cows! *spits out milk*
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Comments (186)
sarahbevan20 11
Breast milk is naturally sweet, so its probably better for you anyway. Reduces the amount of sugar you have to put in the brownies :) Besides, you cant exactly say its gross, you drank it when you were a baby. Plus its natural!
yamazumi 8
Since not everyone breast feeds you cannot assume op had breast milk as an infant. I sure didn't.
clue_me_in 20
She should have told you before you ate them. A person should be able to choose what they put into their body without being tricked.
Gargoyl 10
Indirect cannibalism? Sorry you had to go through that OP,especially with the brownies tasting so good. I'm sure the bodybuilder from another fml would have loved to be in your shoes though
yamazumi 8
Didn't a man put semen in cookies, feed them to his 7-8 year old students, and then get 25 years in prison? F your life op. Want to consume your own bodily fluids? Go ahead, but it is not remotely okay for you to let another person without their consent. Many people willingly consume semen, it doesn't make it okay that this man did it to children, and clearly the justice system didn't think it was okay either (although I think 25 years or w/e sentence it was was quite extreme).
HonestAbe500 7
I was expecting you to say that they were dipped in dog shit.
DivaDiana1 1
She's playing with you, and I can't believe no one else caught it. Unless she has some new goofy recipe and is somehow using breast milk to replace either the oil or the butter or something, brownies DO NOT require milk of any kind in the recipe. She either said it to see your reaction or she didn't want you to eat any more of then.
LandeisJ 11
I have a friend who is a nurse who tells a similar story. He was working in a pediatric unit one time and they would store breast milk in the fridge that the mothers had pumped for the babies on the unit. One baby was getting ready to be discharged and the mother was told that she would have to take her milk with. She told them they could keep it and use it for other things. They told her it doesn't work like that and that she would have to take it. She replied with, "But you can use it for other things. I've been using it in the baked goods I've been bringing you."
jellybeens_fml 16
What exactly is the problem??
apu_nahasapeemap 10
That's a lot of brownies in one sitting.
Fenixknight 2
I would have asked for a glass of the same milk to go with the brownies. Or even better I would have asked, if I could drink directly from the container.