Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML
Today, I was at work and a lady came in with a cake - I work as a nurse in a pediatrics ward. While we were eating the cake, she told us she used her breast milk instead of normal milk. Now all of us nurses have to be tested. FML
Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML
Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year-old sister passed out on the couch. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML
Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall. My mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked, "TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK!" FML
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Top comments
crazytwinsmom 25
When I started reading this, I was expecting pot brownies not boob brownies.
Welshite 40
But I'm not even related to these cows! *spits out milk*
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Comments (186)
outoftown 27
What a creative cook! She ran out of regular milk and realized she had a substitute right at her fingertits ;)
amykins11 6
Don't get the big deal..breast milk is good..it's really sweet...
Culpion 3
Well clearly you didn't taste any difference so why does it matter? Human babies drink it. And I doubt that cow's milk from a grocery store is cleaner than breast milk, unless you are purchasing milk directly from an organic farmer that has free-range cows that are grass-fed. Plus you have to think about how much of it was cooked away/altered in a 350+ oven.
ksks1234 33
The milk you buy at a grocery store is much safer/ cleaner than unpasteurized milk. Unpasteurized milk carries bacteria that can make you ill and possibly kill you. What I am trying to preach, don't buy raw milk!
Ins0mau 20
83 - pasteurisation is just "heat treated". I'm sure the oven those brownies was in was hot enough.
ksks1234 33
145-- sorry, my rambling was unclear. Unpasteurized cow milk is very unsafe, it can contain Salmonella, Listeria, and E. coli. You will not have to worry about that from unpasteurized breast milk.
mominzed 19
Well, if it was only the three of you there, then it might be a hint to something more advanced. if you know what I mean!
IXChaosDragonXI 13
That's when you look her dead in the eye and slide another brownie into your mouth very slowly.
gigi1981 13
The problem is that he should have been able to make an informed choice, the milk was unpasturised and may have contained any number of communicable diseases. I agree that breast milk is healthy and full of nutrients; however he should be informed and make the choice if he wants to consume someone else's bodily fluids.
Ins0mau 20
Pasteurisation is heat treatment. Those brownies were in a oven...
RensM 22
I never gotten the repulsion with breast milk. I mean you are happy to drink the milk of a completely different species. But the one intended for humans disgust you? Sorry It really does not make sense to me!
yamazumi 8
Well, the vast majority of people will happily eat meat from another species, but not from their own. Technically if a person was to donate their body to you after death there would be no moral implications but I bet people would still have an issue with it.
raulrivera6 2
How delicious!
MisterDoge 14
It's always better if it involves boobs.
asherm 15
Next time ask for it straight from the container