Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML
Today, I was at work and a lady came in with a cake - I work as a nurse in a pediatrics ward. While we were eating the cake, she told us she used her breast milk instead of normal milk. Now all of us nurses have to be tested. FML
Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML
Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year-old sister passed out on the couch. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML
Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall. My mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked, "TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK!" FML
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Top comments
crazytwinsmom 25
When I started reading this, I was expecting pot brownies not boob brownies.
Welshite 40
But I'm not even related to these cows! *spits out milk*
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Comments (186)
ema_stonez 19
breast milk is pretty nutritious... its great for babies :D
Pilos_in_manu_fml 7
Only in Scotland! (jk) As most people say, the aversion to breast milk is completely ridiculous, and the people who say "she could've passed any infections she had to the OP", well... heating the milk to a couple of hundred degrees is probably the best way to get rid of any bacterium she was carrying, seeing as most bacteria found in the human body can't survive above 40° C. If I'm not very much mistaken it's called "pasteurising". I must admit the idea of eating something that used to be part of someone else is quite disturbing, but hey, feel honored that she likes you enough to give you something made with her boob juice to eat :)
bigmammajamma69 4
That friggen nasty!!! Make her a Bloody Mary with some real blood :)
bigmammajamma69 4
It's a body fluid , and YES you can get hep C from tainted BM Yes , by all means breast feed your husband and your babies and your willing friends but not other unknowing adults
dangousity 21
No you can't, even the WHO says so lol.
dangousity 21
Totally awesome, too bad she didn't offer fresh milk
merryhappy1887 20
Lol. You're fine. Boobie milk is fantastic.
brandoneyez1 25
Yuck
KingreX32 21
I'd be abit disturbed myself.
skittyskatbrat 19
sorry, but my reaction would have been obvious, colorful, full of chunks, and all down the front of her shirt. Breasts and all. And if she ever wants you to pass her the salt, ask if she'd prefer you to sweat on her food, or just cry on it ;)
HayNahWilliams 7
That sucks