Miscellaneous: Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons...

By anonymous - 01/06/2009 07:05 - Korea Republic of

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 211

You deserved it 5 298

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 28/09/2010 16:16 - France

Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defense lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one is going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 372

You deserved it 4 849

Not so Karate Kid

By Matthew - 09/03/2020 19:00 - United States - Juneau

Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 340

'Murica

By Maryann - 08/02/2018 01:30

Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 332

You deserved it 650

By Anonymous - 29/09/2015 22:50 - United States - Howell

Today, my mom was watching me during my Taekwondo lessons. She was yelling at me to focus on my own work and to quit hanging out with the little kids. I'm the instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 864

You deserved it 1 799

By mommy_issues - 29/08/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 166

You deserved it 4 527

By inpain - 17/03/2016 04:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 889

You deserved it 2 403

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 568

You deserved it 2 945

Karate Kid

By Anonymous - 29/10/2021 08:00

Today, I took out a thief using my martial arts training. Everyone thanked me, even the police. My mom spent the rest of the day moaning that if I’d minded my own business, the thief would've been gone in two minutes, but thanks to me we had to waste an hour of her day off talking to the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 97

By -_- - 05/07/2013 21:59 - United States - Munith

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 575

You deserved it 5 224

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 20:29 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 077

You deserved it 2 872

fortytwo 0

Monday 1 June 2009 15:58

Inform her that you got all your looks from her.

Dogmaw 0

Monday 1 June 2009 15:57

Start leaving brochures for the worst nursing homes in town laying around the house.

Comments

givemechikin 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 13:34

LMAO owned!

ohmyy06 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 14:14

LOLAGE best FML ever! ahahaha douchheeee

ryan13324 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 15:05

Omg dude! Im sure u dont look that bad.. Ur mom is mean!

snakeslayr 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 16:21

Do u go to lcc?

AshleyRose784 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 17:53

As a mom, I find it really hard to believe any parent would speak to their child that way but if it's true I'm so sorry.

Morgane324 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 19:23

You can pay her back by sending her to a foster home when she's old and poor.

kylie05 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 23:36

Wow I hope she was kidding but if not seriously FYL!

bethechange_fml 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 0:59

Lol, #130 is so right. Take her to the worst nursing home in the USA. And dont llisten to anyone who says anything rude. they are wrong

omigod 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 1:03

i can't believe those were the words that came out of your mom's mouth

mcdsman 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 1:30

Thanks a lot mom!

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Today, and ever since the booty call I work with became a lead, a position I was guaranteed, he's spread awful, untrue things about me around the office, and now that he's become buddy-buddy with management, they believe him. Don't shit where you eat, kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 2 099

Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 599

You deserved it 6 602

The Top

Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 506

You deserved it 3 136

Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 020

You deserved it 11 600

Today, my 72 year-old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with homemade signs all day, campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me to ask if she was high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 186

You deserved it 4 005

Today, it became apparent that my new boyfriend has the mental process where unless you give him specific instructions, he can’t do anything right. Such as when asking him to let the dog out, it won’t occur to him to let the dog back in until I get home. By then the dog had destroyed the garden out of boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 249

Today, my parents wouldn't stop making fun of my shy bladder by camping out in front of the bathroom door while I’m trying to pee. As a result, I haven’t peed in 10 hours and my bladder is going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 153

Today, a former friend of mine, with whom I viciously cut ties a few months ago after I found out she's a narcissist, was one of very few people to wish me a happy birthday. Thanks, but no thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 412

Same thing different taste

Not so Karate Kid

'Murica

Karate Kid

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