Miscellaneous: Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons...

By anonymous - 01/06/2009 07:05 - Korea Republic of

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 211

You deserved it 5 298

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 28/09/2010 16:16 - France

Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defense lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one is going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 372

You deserved it 4 849

Not so Karate Kid

By Matthew - 09/03/2020 19:00 - United States - Juneau

Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 340

'Murica

By Maryann - 08/02/2018 01:30

Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 332

You deserved it 650

By Anonymous - 29/09/2015 22:50 - United States - Howell

Today, my mom was watching me during my Taekwondo lessons. She was yelling at me to focus on my own work and to quit hanging out with the little kids. I'm the instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 864

You deserved it 1 799

By mommy_issues - 29/08/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 166

You deserved it 4 527

By inpain - 17/03/2016 04:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 889

You deserved it 2 403

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 568

You deserved it 2 945

Karate Kid

By Anonymous - 29/10/2021 08:00

Today, I took out a thief using my martial arts training. Everyone thanked me, even the police. My mom spent the rest of the day moaning that if I’d minded my own business, the thief would've been gone in two minutes, but thanks to me we had to waste an hour of her day off talking to the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 97

By -_- - 05/07/2013 21:59 - United States - Munith

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 575

You deserved it 5 224

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 20:29 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 077

You deserved it 2 872

fortytwo 0

Monday 1 June 2009 15:58

Inform her that you got all your looks from her.

Dogmaw 0

Monday 1 June 2009 15:57

Start leaving brochures for the worst nursing homes in town laying around the house.

Comments

blackskull123 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 11:36

That was mean of ur mom

LittlexoMe 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 15:07

hahah thats funny and cruel at the same timee!

shanny7723 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 5:37

oooohff... that's rough hun

fml4meplease 0

Monday 8 June 2009 1:00

U are such a liar A good one All ur stories are weird

mustlovemarvin 0

Monday 8 June 2009 4:06

I'd punch her.

Heelix 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 3:20

Your mum is probably ugly herself. YDI for being ugly. I cant stand to hang around ugly people myself....

Hockeylover87_71 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 16:09

lmao

genesis105 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 17:11

Sounds like a stereotypical South Korean joke... Hopefully she wasn't serious...

xfmylifexxx 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 3:54

lol. im korean and this is just a joke from korea. my mom told me this when i was younger, of course she was just kidding. and besides if she actually meant that ur mom is just a effing bitch, and otherwise she would be insulting herself.