By Username - 28/09/2010 16:16 - France

Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defense lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one is going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 369
You deserved it 4 848

Same thing different taste

Top comments

That's a little harsh, but she was probably joking. Your mum is concerned for your well being, I'd recommend getting some self defence lessons as well, as who knows how desperate any potential attackers will be. However, you also have an excellent point, OP, if you keep to well lit streets, you are less likely to be attacked on the basis. That's common sense, which is also helpful in these kind of situations.

LOLLL owned! PS. She was probably joking, so relax yourself.


Marvin_Android 0

Wow, you were first. How perfectly awful. It's especially awful that being first was the closest to joy you will ever experience in the miserable experience that people know as life. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Edited in: and now that you've been moderated, you've just lost what little joy you ever may have had. I find that to be incredibly depressing. Not that I could have become any more depressed than I already was. Life. Don't talk to me about life.

Ali_Br_fml 33

stupid iPod app... lemme try again... Fail on #1... not anymore. Doesn't your mom know about the unspoken rules of parenthood that states that you must lie to your offspring & lull them into a false sense of beauty until they find that person they like ask them out and get rejected? Hmm, I never heard of that rule either... Must be in op's dreamland... j/k that was meaner than my other comment that went to another dimension... or whatever.

Master_Of_Sand 0

Marvin, don't go emo on me. I'm better at it.

god damn it why is my comment not showing. I'll try again. 15 I'm pretty sure that being the master of sand that no one especially his mum cares about him or what he does. **** I hate this app.

In Canada most say Mum too. At least all of the ones I have met living here for 10 years.

ifyouseekamy666 0
hymen_fml 4

Rape only hurts if you fight it.

YDI for being ugly, for going out alone at night, and for having a mom.

****, I left one out. YDI for calling her "mum". And none of this "I'm British! We say 'mum'" bullshit, either! SPEAK ENGLISH!

Ummm... English was spoken by the British first? And you're American, you speak a different dialect of English, of course there's going to be words that are different? Same way that Australians speak a different dialect of English...

Trollz, you are aware of why it's called English, aren't you? :P (Damn, J1LT beat me to it. Damn you autoflood for ruining my jokey comeback!)

Schizomaniac 24

"English was spoken by the British first?" Hahahaha. Leave him alone; he's just a stupid giraffe.

Trollz your awesome but it's MUM say it you can hear the U not an O.

Oh dear, look what your joke has started, Trollz. :P

legonut6 0

either way, there are more Americans that speak English now. we pretty much own the language lol

legonut6 0

Uhh 33, more people in the world say MOM, so I'm sure MOM, not mum, is correct. YOU SIR ARE A FAIL.

*sighs exasperatedly* Can't we accept both are right in their own way?

I say MOM. Not mum. And, the way I say it, it sounds like mom.

We pronounce it with the u in the UK, and in Canada, and I think Austrialia too. Hence why they are both right.

legonut6 0

NO CINN! You're Wrong!!!!!!!! America says it, and we're the biggest and best English speaking( and any other kind of) country, so we're right, and UK is wrong.

Double Rainbow for people born without moms :)

legonut6 0


Legonut, I'm taking your comment (#46) to contain a healthy amount of sarcastic humour, and therefore just laughing at the humour. :P

sdman923 0

I say mother, your argument is invalid.

I say mum.....Thanks to my mother's passed down thick British accent. Don't fight. It's MUM or MOM. Dear Cinn, Your comments are getting really annoying and my opinion is that lots of people most likely hate you. Do you spend your life on FML? I see your comment on almost every FML and your almost as bad as Ignorance who says only negative things about the FML. Regards, Hoplaka

-Breaths and relieves finger tips that were in pain for writing all of that- Ok.. Hehe trollz. We love you. <3 :) Just make sure not to turn into Ignorance! :o FML op.. hehe you have a weird mum. XD

Dear everybody after me in this thread: TL:DR. Dear everybody who's not me: You are WRONG.

mum is just as english as mom infact english originated from ehh ENGLAND which btw is in britain so stop being an idiot

actually the majority language in america* will soon be spanish

_whisper_ 0

Screw that, I find it entirely disrespectful when everyone is expected to know Spanish for those who can't speak English. It's America! If I go somewhere where they speak a different language I will learn that language before I go to that country, otherwise it's disrespectful.

Hoplaka, I have nothing better to do with my time atm as I'm waiting for my term to start again. What annoyed you so much anyway? I'd understand a difference of opinion, but we seem agreed upon this, both forms are acceptable, and I don't recognise your name, so I'm going to have to base it on this one. And legonut, if I'm meant humor, I'd have said humor. :P

Ignorance: True, true. I do kind of like your comments when the OP is a retard. :)

hilarious, way to be brutally honest mom. but she can do that cause she loves you!

Master_Of_Sand 0

Get prettier, ugly. That is all.

car8o8line 5

How can someone 'get prettier'?

Once upon a time, OP was born, and everyone in the whole world died. The end.

That's a little harsh, but she was probably joking. Your mum is concerned for your well being, I'd recommend getting some self defence lessons as well, as who knows how desperate any potential attackers will be. However, you also have an excellent point, OP, if you keep to well lit streets, you are less likely to be attacked on the basis. That's common sense, which is also helpful in these kind of situations.

holt **** do you ever have a short response

PaintTheStars 2

Her responces may be long, but they are nice and educated comments that do not offend anyone. Oops! This response might be too long for you to read. Thumbs up for Cinn 

thumbs down... I see her everywhere on this site. i wouldn't mind if she was actually appealing

Really, I'm everywhere on this site? Wow, I can be in places without knowing it, excellent! On a more serious note, CherryGarcia - I'm not making you read/look, so use your free will to skip my comments. Also, PaintTheStars, thanks.

I know. A lot of OPs on this site are super sensitive...then again, maybe most people suck it up when they get offended and then complain anonymously on here. *mulling*

ouch your mom is harsh. usually parents won't say something without there being a reason so maybe you should stop being ugly

haha "stop being ugly" if I had a nickel for every time I've heard that XD

Someone1111 22

maybe you should stop being so rude

Marvin_Android 0

How perfectly miserable. On the brighter side (if such a thing exists), at least those street lamps won't have the smug AI that the doors on this ship do. They're so self-satisfied. It would make me retch, if I were biological and had the inner organs for retching. And cheer up, OP. Being pretty or ugly doesn't matter in the grand scale of things. Existence is miserable no matter what you look like. Does that cheer you up? Or am I bringing you down further? I wouldn't want to be the cause of anyone else's depression; God knows I have trouble enough with my own. Life. Don't talk to me about life.

I'm not feeling it Marvin. Your comments are too verbose for something that's claiming to be depressed. I don't sense enough dejection and apathy. You need to express yourself in less words, where every utterance you make seethes despair. I want to be able to taste your pain while my eyes bounce from word to pathetic word. Actually, I want you to exude so much misery, that I can't stomach the thought of finishing your six word treatise on the merits of you existing at all. I want to hold back the vomit that surfaces to my throat as I think of holding down that last word. You make me sick.

Marvin_Android 0

#58: I said not to talk to me about life. Was that instruction too complex for your underdeveloped simian brain? #61: I am making my statements as simple as I can. I am the most advanced robot manufactured by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, and I have a brain the size of a planet. Perhaps that is precisely why I am so depressed. I see the futility of everything. And I'm sorry if I make you sick; I don't mean to bring anybody down. When one is this depressed, it's difficult not to show it. Also, I am post #69. That should bring joy to the more perverted of you Earth-monkeys. It makes me even more depressed, not that any of you would care. Life. Don't talk to me about life.