By Anonymous - 27/12/2013 22:39 - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML
I agree, your life sucks 56 006
You deserved it 7 243
Intimacy
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Top comments

Larry01_fml 19

sometimes you have to tell a guy exactly what you want

210 5

Comments

Exhaling 12

Maybe give him an idea of what you want to hear?

139 3
saocrates 16

Foreplay should be more than just words or maybe that's just me.

65 3
Enslaved 36

"More than words is all you have to do to make it real Then you wouldn't have to say that you *penis* me 'cause I'd already know"

39 3
JocelynKaulitz 28

"I wanna sex you up."

17 1
Exhaling 12

I don't know how you mix up completely different looking words

30 1
mFUNdo21 17

My reading skills were clearly not on par this morning

12 9
chris4u2nv5 19

#33 that was right on time. I busted out laughing.

4 1
ohcheriecherie 20

at least it wasn't "I'm gonna dick you down" like some other FML. your husband sounds bad in bed

1 1
Larry01_fml 19

sometimes you have to tell a guy exactly what you want

210 5
Redoxx_fml 22

Tell me you're gonna "dick me down good"

71 2
truecolourss 4

At least he tried! He did say he'd penis you, hopefully the sex was better than the foreplay

17 3
outoftown 26

And sometimes the guy needs a whole Powerpoint presentation.

14 1
Ambient25 24

She should watch out, he might just ******** her deeper

67 7
thatsucks4you 7

I read this FML and your response to my husband while we are about to go to sleep but just cracked up laughing!

17 4
lisaroxmysoxx 16

Oh geez! My boyfriend likes to say 'I'm gonna be all up in your guts' I don't know which is worse!

138 6
Ambient25 24

And you let him say that shit?? A bit TMI, but when I have sex, it's best to match the dirty talk with hard pounding...otherwise it's just talk. My best friend actually used to say: "I balled my girlfriend deep man". I always thought he meant basketball, since I dunno how you can "ball" someone deep...

49 6
Ambient25 24

Lol the funny part though is that he'd only describe it as "balling"...

7 1
RoboCunnilingus 23

Well... Everything is romantic when you whisper it.

83 3
The_Hula_Monster 10

#36 Only if it's followed by "By penissing you in your ****** so hard"

53 2
LittleBastard 20

I'm guessing he wanted to say "give you a good dicking" but couldn't think of what to say so he used penis as a verb.

46 3
Qwermy 16

dicks be like "how do I penis?"

59 0
RoboCunnilingus 23

#11- The real question here is, "How much penis would a penis penis if a penis could penis penis?"

68 0
RoboCunnilingus 23

Never thought I'd say the word penis that many times in one sentence.

53 1