Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML
Add a comment - Reply to : #
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account
Sign in
Top comments
By
uoeno_fml
| 20
You should vagina him harder
By
Larry01_fml
| 19
sometimes you have to tell a guy exactly what you want
COMMENTS
By
Exhaling
| 12
Maybe give him an idea of what you want to hear?
Reply
saocrates
| 16
Foreplay should be more than just words or maybe that's just me.
Reply
Enslaved
| 36
"More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you *penis* me
'cause I'd already know"
Then you wouldn't have to say that you *penis* me
'cause I'd already know"
Reply
incoherentrmblr
| 21
PENIS!!!...
Reply
JocelynKaulitz
| 28
"I wanna sex you up."
Reply
mFUNdo21
| 17
I read "husband" as "dad" at first D:
Reply
Exhaling
| 12
I don't know how you mix up completely different looking words
Reply
mFUNdo21
| 17
My reading skills were clearly not on par this morning
Reply
chris4u2nv5
| 19
#33 that was right on time. I busted out laughing.
Reply
ohcheriecherie
| 20
at least it wasn't "I'm gonna dick you down" like some other FML. your husband sounds bad in bed
By
Larry01_fml
| 19
sometimes you have to tell a guy exactly what you want
Reply
Redoxx_fml
| 22
Tell me you're gonna "dick me down good"
Reply
truecolourss
| 4
At least he tried! He did say he'd penis you, hopefully the sex was better than the foreplay
Reply
outoftown
| 26
And sometimes the guy needs a whole Powerpoint presentation.
By
nikkidii
| 14
I would've burst out laughing.
By
uoeno_fml
| 20
You should vagina him harder
Reply
Ambient25
| 24
She should watch out, he might just testicle her deeper
Reply
thatsucks4you
| 7
I read this FML and your response to my husband while we are about to go to sleep but just cracked up laughing!
By
2taylornissly
| 1
Hahaha
By
lisaroxmysoxx
| 16
Oh geez! My boyfriend likes to say 'I'm gonna be all up in your guts' I don't know which is worse!
Reply
Ambient25
| 24
And you let him say that shit??
A bit TMI, but when I have sex, it's best to match the dirty talk with hard pounding...otherwise it's just talk.
My best friend actually used to say: "I balled my girlfriend deep man". I always thought he meant basketball, since I dunno how you can "ball" someone deep...
A bit TMI, but when I have sex, it's best to match the dirty talk with hard pounding...otherwise it's just talk.
My best friend actually used to say: "I balled my girlfriend deep man". I always thought he meant basketball, since I dunno how you can "ball" someone deep...
Reply
Ambient25
| 24
Lol the funny part though is that he'd only describe it as "balling"...
By
adrianh1090
| 12
Nobody likes a grammar nazi.
By
RoboCunnilingus
| 23
Well... Everything is romantic when you whisper it.
Reply
kelseythompson
| 27
Whispers "I'm gunna kill you"
Hot right?
Hot right?
Reply
The_Hula_Monster
| 10
#36
Only if it's followed by "By penissing you in your vagina so hard"
Only if it's followed by "By penissing you in your vagina so hard"
By
LittleBastard
| 20
I'm guessing he wanted to say "give you a good dicking" but couldn't think of what to say so he used penis as a verb.
By
viau
| 13
how does a penis penis?
Reply
Qwermy
| 16
dicks be like "how do I penis?"
Reply
RoboCunnilingus
| 23
#11- The real question here is, "How much penis would a penis penis if a penis could penis penis?"
Reply
RoboCunnilingus
| 23
Never thought I'd say the word penis that many times in one sentence.