Love: Today, my boyfriend’s mom begged me to not leave him before we... - FML

By fever15 - Koweït

Today, my boyfriend’s mom begged me to not leave him before we graduate. After that, I have her blessing. FML

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Proactive

There's no helping some people

Our house, in the middle of our street

By screwed - United States

Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

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By Fenny - United States

Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML

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By Fractured - United States

Today, I fractured a bone in my knee. Now not only do I have to wear a huge knee brace for the next two months, I'll have to sit around in a hotel room all of next week while my family has fun skiing in the mountains. FML

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By SpideyFace - Canada

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

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By polemania - United States

Today, I had an employee come in 20 minutes late with the excuse, "There's a Pokemon gym across the street!" FML

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By minaaaaajftw - Norway - Jessheim

Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML

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By duh - United States

Today, I sang the itsy bitsy spider song with a class of thirty 20 somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML

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By clarakipper - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that the vacation my mom has been planning to "repair our relationship" was just an opportunity to change her Facebook profile picture. FML

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By SM - United States

Today, at work one of my co-worker was oddly nice to me; and my boss, who usually always says hi to me, didn't look or speak to me. Later that day I found out that I was going to be fired, not because my boss told me but because my picture was missing from the wall of employees. FML

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By promoted - Australia

Today, my boss quit his job and stopped coming in without warning. Guess who just inherited his tasks and responsibilities without the training or pay associated with his manager role. I was hired last year as a junior system admin. FML

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By no good deed... etc

Well Well Well

Today, I tried to surprise my mom and wash her car while she was away. Today, I also found out how gross our well water is. The car looks worse than before. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I overheard my best friend's wife telling their kids to pay attention in school and stay focused on their goals so they don't end up a failure in life like their father's friend, Matt. Hi, my name is Matt and I'm the friend. FML

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By Dehydrated - United States - Charlotte

Today, at soccer, I repeatedly asked my coach for water as I was feeling light headed. His response every time was, "5 more minutes". Eventually, I got so dehydrated that I passed out. The first thing my coach said when I woke up was, "Why didn't you get some water?" FML

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By Marc - Hong Kong - Tsuen Wan

Today, it's been almost 2 months since I moved into my new place, and it's the first time a girl has slept in my bed. I also slept on my new couch for the first time. FML

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By soontobehobo - United States - Mankato

Today, I was checking my schedule online and noticed that I wasn't scheduled for any shifts next week. Not thinking it was a big deal, I called HR to get it corrected, only to find out I was laid off and they "forgot" to tell me. FML

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By Msmerfner - United States - Hemet

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

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By LDL - United States

Today, I organized a romantic evening with one of my old squeezes in the hopes I may re-ignite something special. She showed up at 8 and told me she had to leave by 9. She was gone by 8:30. FML

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By lowly101

Today, I stood up at my desk and fell. I landed on the arm of my desk chair. There was a loud crack when the plastic in the chair broke. My co-workers heard. They didn't come to check on me because I didn't scream. FML

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By smellyfeet - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was finally time for both of us to have sex with each other. He kept his shoes on the whole time because he thought he had smelly feet. FML

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By honor sucks - United States

Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML

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By AboutToGoKillBillOnSomeone - Australia - Newport

Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Easley

Today, as I walked around town I noticed some guys and even a couple of girls checked me out. When I got home later I realized they probably weren't checking me out, so much as wondering why the hell I had thick black eyeliner on only one eye. Oops. FML

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By disappointed dad - United States

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

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By RuasaLove - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

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By Blank - United States

Today, my new step-dad proposed to my mom during a family trip to Wal-Mart. FML

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By anonymous - United States - Manchester

Today, I was babysitting, and the family dog was unable to move, so I had texted the mother about it. We put the small dog on the couch to make it comfortable while the mother was on her way to get the dog and take it to the vet. Turns out, we sat with a dead dog for about ten minutes. FML

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By trembelwick - Canada

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Concord

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

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By Go away - United States - Humboldt

Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

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By Angelofkarma - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

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By yogabbagabba - United States

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

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By charlieweaver21 - France

Today, I agreed to meet my ex-girlfriend at our favorite restaurant with my hopes high. She just wanted me to meet her new boyfriend. FML

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By Anonymous

Alexa, play "Mr Loverman" by Shabba Ranks

Today, I was at a store when I saw a cute girl from my school. Trying to act cool, I went to hold the door for her. Too bad it was an automatic door. FML

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By agh marriage - Australia - Albany Creek

Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Saint Maries

Today, my mother and grandmother informed me that my sixteen-year-old dog died. I was standing in Wal-Mart at the time. They then yelled at me because crying in public is "inappropriate." FML

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By anime_love - United States

Today, I was waiting for my boyfriend who evidently stood me up. I waited so long, the security came up and asked me to leave, because I was scaring the staff. FML

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By bill - United States

Today, I received a $500 fine for an "unruly" dog. I don't have a dog. FML

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By Umidknickname

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going away for the weekend to go clubbing with his mates. I would be fine with it, except the mates he's going with already tried to get him to cheat on me. FML

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Top comments

By WCARlover | 34

#6628733 - Wednesday 15 June 2016 17:53

Well OP, it's been 5 years...did you dump him?

By Tripartita | 44

#6628738 - Wednesday 15 June 2016 17:56

No, not only did she agree to stay with him, but he still hasn't graduated. It's an odd situation.

COMMENTS

By ban_ANA_bat | 18

#6628730 - Wednesday 15 June 2016 17:50

Where you planning to or something? Or is she just one of those crazy moms who hates tou?

By WCARlover | 34

#6628733 - Wednesday 15 June 2016 17:53

Well OP, it's been 5 years...did you dump him?

Reply

Tripartita | 44

#6628738 - Wednesday 15 June 2016 17:56

No, not only did she agree to stay with him, but he still hasn't graduated. It's an odd situation.

By 399 | 41

#6628735 - Wednesday 15 June 2016 17:54

Good luck OP :P

By MikuandKaito | 24

#6628752 - Wednesday 15 June 2016 18:11

Fuck that. She doesn't control you. Leave.

By DankNissan | 11

#6628762 - Wednesday 15 June 2016 18:40

Fuck his mom lol

By justicehendrix | 9

#6628906 - Wednesday 15 June 2016 22:06

why is this from 2011 if its from the most recent FMLs?

By EwahWeeWah | 21

#6628953 - Wednesday 15 June 2016 23:35

2011? What?

Reply

drayloon | 50

#6629597 - Thursday 16 June 2016 20:20

The FML World posts are translated from old posts on sister sites in different languages

By Justinspires | 5

#6628993 - Thursday 16 June 2016 0:35

This is confusing lol

By Tsumetai_ | 11

#6629194 - Thursday 16 June 2016 6:52

I can kinda understand why the boyfriends mom asked the girlfriend not to dump him before he graduates, cause going through a breakup is rough and can affect his grades. That said it's not fair to her to be guilted into staying in a relationship she doesn't want to be in. Her feelings is important too, and if she wants to break up with the guy, she should.

By SOILEDIT | 51

#6629629 - Thursday 16 June 2016 21:24

This ACHES for a follow up! After 5 years, what happened? We may never know...