By Anonymous - 27/12/2013 22:39 - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML
I agree, your life sucks 56 016
You deserved it 7 247
Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Larry01_fml 19

sometimes you have to tell a guy exactly what you want

210 5

Comments

Braveltoaster 6

Man I use penis as a verb pretty much constantly. I penis, you penis, he/she/it penises, we penis, you(pl) penis, they penis. Infinitive: to penis. Past tense: penised.

120 7
N3766 20

very A+ penis, so penis....

14 19
protoasha 11

I penis, you penis, he, she, we penis, penising, penisology, the study of penis...come on Spongebob, this is first grade!

27 2
whaime 10

Sorry OP, but I can't stop laughing now.

37 2
worldclassrager 39

I don't think he knows how to foreplay...help him out a bit...

24 2
Echoa21 18

He may not know how to foreplay but he does know how to penis

60 2
krtrupp 7

Oh the poor guy.... You need to help him out on this one, OP. This really has me giggling.

15 3
nismo98 14

better term cakk...I'm going to cakk you so hard aha.

0 32
BanAnnalee 12

Did you end up ******-ing him?

29 2
happygolucky2178 5

Maybe he was trying to say he was going to give you the big D and it came out wrong. Poor guy. At least he tried!

2 5
sickerthanyou 13

If that is his idea of foreplay, you should show him that your idea of sex doesn't involve him but a battery operated toy, he can watch thou.

4 7
breakinlegs 19

Watch some **** together, that will help him get his head in the game!

5 13
KushCrushin89 10

Is "game" some sort of euphemism for ****** here? If so, that's a win.

3 3
DanielleinDC 33

Yeah, because **** is incredibly realistic. Come on, there are better ways to help a man develop his skills than watching ****.

2 1
chocolatefrog28 29

I'd say respond in kind with something like "Oh baby, I'm gonna twat you so hard," but that might work even still. Time to lead by example, OP, give some quality to get a little back!

7 5