Miscellaneous: Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if...

By Michael tee - 11/08/2011 20:11 - United States

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 367

You deserved it 5 026

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Same thing different taste

By mannydanny - 01/09/2011 23:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 189

You deserved it 5 034

By verycre8tive - 21/05/2009 07:31 - Romania

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 619

You deserved it 2 724

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 433

You deserved it 3 813

By TKPhai - 05/04/2015 03:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 192

You deserved it 16 468

By Alex - 20/06/2014 22:05 - United Kingdom - Greenford

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 444

You deserved it 4 162

By Steve.mc - 01/05/2011 07:03 - Canada

Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 460

You deserved it 7 974

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 21:55 - United States

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 239

You deserved it 4 584

By sexybelly - 26/03/2015 08:35 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 868

You deserved it 4 623

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 15:42 - United States

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 934

You deserved it 1 767

Chubby life

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 18:00

Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 573

You deserved it 287

vballcutie08 6

Friday 12 August 2011 1:03

I've never been brave enough to ask, I was afraid I'd get an answer like this one..

bellakaykid 6

Friday 12 August 2011 1:03

Yes, that counts.

Comments

Holy_ish 19

Friday 12 August 2011 4:26

damm thats hursh

ArsenalFan12 0

Friday 12 August 2011 5:08

its a deffently maybe

Prankster7o7 5

Friday 12 August 2011 5:16

That party was crazy! ;)

Bekavera 4

Friday 12 August 2011 5:19

At least he was honest...lmfao

izzabella43 0

Friday 12 August 2011 5:25

Lol my mum was preggers at the altar :P

thatgirl345 5

Friday 12 August 2011 5:29

Lmao. I sometimes wander if I was adopted.

MadameMiller 6

Friday 12 August 2011 5:34

Eh, it's not so bad. I wasn't planned... and I had a stepdad. So what? What's done is done, you are here now, that's what matters, enjoy your life. The fact that you weren't planned doesn't mean you should live any less or be any less happy.

shannyb123 0

Friday 12 August 2011 5:43

So is that a yes?

RensM 22

Friday 12 August 2011 5:45

Was the party planned? If so yes!

chell1894 13

Friday 12 August 2011 6:00

The truth hurts?

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 274

You deserved it 14 939

Today, I got popcorn when getting groceries. I was excited to see popcorn butter spray on sale and decided to try it. Excited, I made some popcorn while I went to use the can. Butter sprayed like an aerosol can all over my desk and floor. Now, my apartment smells like a movie theater and there's butter EVERYWHERE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 342

The Top

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 384

You deserved it 2 945

Today, out of all the cars in the parking lot, mine got struck by lightning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 340

You deserved it 3 592

Today, I received a big scholarship. I was ecstatic, until I looked up the cost of tuition at that university. I still need $120K. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 558

You deserved it 2 378

Today, I realized that every girl who has approached me or I approached me since high school always ended up trying to get close to me to get close to any one of my friends. Every time I think we’re hitting it off, they ask. When I refuse to set them up, they get angry, and tell others I'm a creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 90

Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 957

You deserved it 1 778

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 109

You deserved it 64 108

Same thing different taste

Chubby life

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